Posts Tagged "writing"

The Weird and Wonderful World of Blogging

Posted by cafebebemama on Feb 25, 2010 in Blogger Love, Motherhood | 18 comments

Midlands Bloggers at the Pampers/UNICEF event, 2009

I have come to realise that I am throughly entrenched in the weird and wonderful world of blogging.  Sometimes I wonder if that is a good thing?  When I began blogging in May of 2009, I never would have imagined what it could have done for me or how it would have changed me.  I’ve found myself; found my voice; found new strength thanks to blogging.  I’m a more confident person now but I still have a weakness…a tender heart.  I take knocks and it seems that quite a few others do as well.  Some react well, bounce back stronger and shake it off.  Others don’t.  Some bloggers have hung up their blogging boots as it just wasn’t worth it.  The word bullying is one that’s dropped in the press these days here in the UK and I wonder, sometimes, if it’s happening here in the blogosphere.

Many bloggers stay well out of it, write, read, enjoy and don’t get sucked in.  Some bloggers seem to be at the centre of every hullabaloo in the Parent Blogging community.  Some bloggers fan the flames and some light the fires.  Why?  Why do we do this to each other?  The UK Parent Blogging community is small but growing and we need to support each other and be proud of each other’s achievements.

It’s hard, I think, when there are incentives involved.  Those of us who are more competitive and are making part-time employment out of our blogs and our writing are understandably ambitious.  But what does that ambition get you?  Not so very long ago, I was motivated by PR requests and a “just ask” philosophy.  I received things in exchange for mention and/or review on my site.  I now see that those choices may not have been correct.  I never wanted to be seen as a “swag hag”.  I wanted to be recognised for my writing and maybe become a “top blogger“.  Not for the  acquisition of THINGS but for the sense of accomplishment and for the knowledge that people enjoyed what I wrote and wanted to tune in for more.  I have changed my tune a bit and focused on my writing and found a new energy for my writing.

Suddenly I have a slightly different feeling about blogging.  I appreciate interest from PR’s but I am not desperate to snap up everything on offer.  I see opportunities for WRITING and not for GETTING.  I want to be respected so I’m trying not to get bogged down in the mud with the games that are played.  It’s a bit like secondary school sometimes!  But what I don’t see are the Daddy Bloggers getting sucked in.  The Mummy Bloggers seem to be the ones throwing teddies and smearing each other.  Is it our hormones?  Our female nature to lash out?  Our Maternal Instinct kicking in?  I think the Daddy Bloggers are far wiser in this case…just blog…don’t slog!

I’ve really been welcomed into the UK Parent Blogging community.  I’ve met new friends who I think I may know better than some of my real life friends.  I know if I have a “wobble”, I can turn to one of them for support and a virtual shoulder.  I love this weird and wonderful world of blogging.  I’d just like for us all to just get along.  The Bloggers who have taken me under their wings and have given me professional advice know who they are and the list is longer every day.  I would like to say, to all of you, thank you for the love and for the warm welcome.  I hope we can all just take a step back, realise that there are far worse things going on in homes all over the world and share the love again.

My Bad Post

Posted by cafebebemama on Feb 17, 2010 in American Mum Me, Blogger Love, Motherhood | 20 comments

Who Am I?

I have permission to write a Bad Post from my blogger friend Josie.  I’ve been in a state of conflict today thanks to some blogging rumblings from yesterday and this morning.  There have been posts flying around today about writing good posts and being top bloggers and I think there are some hard feelings and damaged self-esteems in our blogosphere.  I decided that I needed to push away from the computer and get some fresh air.  So fresh air I got!

After a bit of a stand-off with Little Miss as to whether getting dressed was a good idea or not (I won…I always win!), I plopped Little Miss in the pushchair and popped on the rain cover (wouldn’t you know it, when I finally get out and about it decides to rain), grabbed my GIANT Skip Hop Changing Bag and set off for the next village.  Flush with the crisp air and misty rain on my cheeks, I felt GOOD.  Snow drops (they’re gorgeous little, tiny white flowers that signal the oncoming Spring in England) were peeping out from the soil and daffodils were doing the same.  It was grey but suddenly I felt better.  My muddled head cleared and you know what I found?  Excitement!

I realised that why I blog is because I LOVE TO WRITE.  I’m no Virginia Wolff…I can’t even begin to fathom fiction writing but I love to share what’s going on in my over-active imagination; what’s going on with Little Miss and how much she makes me laugh.  I could have written about 3 blog posts as my mind was free to ramble whilst we were walking around.  If I just had that Blackberry, I would have done it!  I’m no Top Blogger and in fact I happen to be a 95th ranked blogger (and am very chuffed with that mind you) but I just really enjoy writing.

I love tweeking my blog (much to the annoyance of some readers I am sure) and making it bigger and better as I can only re-arrange one room in my house and how many times a year can you do that?  I try to share bits of our life so that my friends and family can get a glimpse into our lives.  I want to be a good blogger as well so I try to respond to most comments and follow other’s blogs and comment there as well.  I’m not good at Search Engine Optimisation and I’ve stalled with trying to figure out how to do a bloomin’ sitemap and Yahoo flibberty-gibbit that will tell me how lowly my blog is.  I just want to be READ because it tells me that someone out there likes what they read.  And that makes me happy and makes me want to write more.

I love being a Mummy and love learning more about that every day but my blogging and my writing is my release.  Walking around today, which was much needed, refreshed my brain cells and stopped my worrying.  I can’t say that I won’t worry about where I rank and how many comments something does or doesn’t get.  It’s my competitive, silly nature but I think it’s what helps me to be a not-so-bad writer and blogger.  So, this is me…looking in the mirror like the photo of wee-me above…I’ve got a voice; I’ve got a knack for writing; Hear me Roar…

This is my Bad Post…only 2 links to other posts…no worrying about pleasing people or hitting the radar of the Search Engines.  This is me…writing because I have to…writing because I want to…writing because I need to.  Take me as I am!

Perfectly Happy Mum Coaching

Posted by cafebebemama on Feb 3, 2010 in American Mum Me, Blogger Love, Great Finds, Motherhood, Product Reviews | 7 comments

My First Commissioned Article

A few months back I was approached by the delightful Peggy Poyser of Perfectly Happy Mum after a particularly bleak post I had written (what me, bleak, never!).  Peggy, a Life Coach, offered me the benefit of her services to try to put me on the straight and narrow in exchange for a review on this site.  How grateful am I for Peggy!  Thanks to Peggy’s guidance, questions and goal setting I have achieved more in the last two months than in the last year.  That’s a pretty good endorsement for Peggy’s Perfectly Happy Coaching for Mums and of course, for my writing. (ha ha)

I’ve always been interested in writing.  When I was little, I used to write short stories and had a rather over-active imagination which still plagues me today.  I remember in particular, one story written with my Grandma.  I believe that the title was “The Fabulous Tale of Farley Filler”.  I had better not see this on the shelves anywhere any time soon!  I have continued to write “on the side” and finally had the “gumption” to start blogging last year as a way to regain a little bit of me after having Little Miss.  Writing the blog has led to product review opportunities and allowed me to dream a bit but I never fully believed that I could make money from my writing.  I know full well that the possibility of making GOOD money on writing is very slim.  I am by no means the next JK Rowling!  But I never believed that I had what it took to make even a little bit on my writing.  Peggy kicked me into touch; she helped me to see that I COULD and that “if I built it, they would come”.  (Peggy didn’t say that…Kevin Costner did in “Field of Dreams”…she’s good, but not that good! )

Prior to our first telephone session, Peggy sent me a series of forms to fill out so she could learn more about me and my goals/issues.  This was an invaluable process because it helped ME to see what I wanted to focus on as well.  I wasn’t too sure about Life Coaching initially…seemed a bit “new age” to me, to tell you the truth!  Through filling out the forms, I realised that what I was most interested in exploring was my blogging and writing.  In addition to the forms, I signed an agreement with Peggy that I would treat our sessions as professionally as possible, always be on time and fulfill my obligations in the process which I found to be impressive.  This was laying the groundwork for success and I respond well to this approach.

In total, I had 4 telephone sessions with Peggy.  Each session lasted approximately 45 minutes and started with a recap of the goals set in the previous session and my progress on those and ended with goal setting for the following week.  Peggy was so easy to talk to that I considered (and do consider) her to be my friend.  She wasn’t preachy or scolding but probing and questioning and encouraging at the same time.  As a fellow blogger, obviously Peggy had some suggestions for things I could do with my blogging and then had me narrow down my focus to goal set for the weeks.  Through Peggy’s guidance I was able to focus on getting my work published either with American Expat magazines or local/national parenting magazine and newspapers.  I’m a good “assingment taker” and with the goals that we set, I found myself energised to tackle tasks that I previously thought impossible.  I approached 2 different American Expat magazines and was able to contribute articles to the two and have been “published”.  Unfortunately, I was not paid for these first two articles but it’s important to get yourself published so you can have something to back yourself up with for future pitches.  After the success with the American Expat magazines, I took the initiative to approach our local, monthly, glossy magazine editor and suggested that I could write a parenting page for his magazine.  He officially “commissioned” me to write at least 3 months worth of parenting pages which means that I GET PAID!!!  Here is the link to my first piece, published in the February issue of Stamford Living.  In addition to this article, I have written and submit a second piece for March and will write at least one more for the month of April.

As a result of working with Peggy Poyser, I have developed a new focus and energy for writing, have had the joy of being commissioned to write for PAY and have felt much better about myself in the process.  I’m a better mummy and wife when I have a little something of my own.  If you are lacking direction in your personal and/or professional life and are in need of a friend who will help you get what you’re looking for, I highly recommend visiting Peggy Poyser’s Perfectly Happy Coaching for Mums site (www.perfectlyhappy.co.uk ).  Contact Peggy to discuss the possiblities; you won’t be sorry you did.  And watch out for me in the future…you just never know where you’ll read something written by me.  You can say, you knew me “when”!

Perfectly Happy Coaching for Mums

Judith’s Room

Posted by cafebebemama on Jan 8, 2010 in Judith's Room | 5 comments

Virginia Woolf

I’ve become part of a brilliant new Writing Community called, “Judith’s Room“.  The Fair Josie of Sleep is for the Weak fame has created a Ning community of Women Writers after a flurry of Tweets about needing “A Place of Our Own” in which to write.  Josie grabbed the bull by the horns and within 2 days, has the group up and flourishing.  Day One, yesterday (7/1/10), there were over 80 women who joined the group!

Why is this exciting?  Well, through blogging, I’ve realised that WRITING is what I want to do.  I’ve been given the opportunity to write about my life as a Mummy and all of the happiness and pain that it brings; I’ve been given the opportunity to write about products that every parent needs and wants; I’ve been given the opportunity to write about my experiences as an American Expat.  Some of this writing has even been COMMISSIONED ( = £££)!  Mind you, my commissions aren’t much and some of the work has been for free, but the key is, I’m being published.  I was considering taking a local college Creative Writing course (I may still do this) as I do need to LEARN more about writing well but just as I was considering this, Judith’s Room has come to the rescue.  There are some brilliant women on board, some of whom have been published and can offer great advice.  I’m a bit worried as I’m no Virginia Woolf (I haven’t even read her…I’m more of a Chick Lit/Mummy Lit kind of person) but it’s very exciting to be in on the ground floor of what I believe will be a brilliant resource for women writers.  Now I just have to get down to work…by finding my lost mojo!

If you are a woman writer, check out Judith’s Room for inspiration, support and a community with whom to share.  Thank you Josie for making it happen.  Oh, wait, are you wondering how the name “Judith’s Room” came about?  Well, the more literary of you will appreciate this one!  Here is some copy from the Judith’s Room community:

Our name takes its inspiration from the Virginia Woolf essay ‘A Room of One’s Own’, in which she suggests that “a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction”. In her essay, Virginia uses the fictional character of Shakespeare’s sister Judith to explore issues surrounding the talent and potential of women writers and the difficulties they have faced. Judith may have been as equally gifted as her brother but as a woman of the time would not have been allowed to write or be published. She left for London to try her luck, but ended up dead on a roadside, just another Anon: another forgotten female literary giant that never was.

Quite inspirational I think…here’s to some great writing!  Watch this space!