Posts Tagged "University"

Flashback Friday- Good things come to those who wait

Posted by cafebebemama on May 27, 2011 in Blogger Love, Flashback Friday | 13 comments

6 years ago this week I began the rest of my life. I had been studying in Caen, France since February, 2005 and had managed to meet and fall in love with this rather amazing Englishman. He proposed to me under the London Eye on March 18. I said yes. This was six weeks after we had met in person for the first time and about 4 months after we had spoken for the first time. It was meant to be. Brought together across an ocean, it was finally our time.

After completing my French programme at the Universite de Caen, the plan was for Mark to drive over to collect me and then we would drive to Geneva, Switzerland to spend a week with his sister and her family (our matchmaker). Mark left very early on the morning of May 25 to drive to Dover, take a ferry to Calais and then drive a rather long way to Caen, Normandy. I woke up that morning with most of my belongings packed, took my final exam and stood about waiting. In fact, I stood on the street corner waiting for Mark’s burgundy Volkswagen Passat to drive up. I was waving my Union Flag as he came into view. I’ve never been so happy in my whole life!

I showed Mark around my adoptive home and introduced him to the girls who had become my good friends over the short 3 months. We wandered down into the centre of Caen to Dolly’s, my refuge from the French world. Dolly’s was the most adorable and homely ENGLISH cafe that served PG Tips, scones and full English breakfasts. The owners were Dolly and her French/English daughter Elise. We had all made friends with them and would spend hours in the comfy chairs with pots and pots of tea. I didn’t do as well as I could have with FRENCH immersion!

At Dolly’s on May 25, Mark and I had lunch with my girlfriends and while I wasn’t paying attention, Mark laid a box on the table in front of me. You see, even though he had proposed to me on March 18, he hadn’t had a ring at that time. Who could blame him? We’d only known each other six weeks! The box on the table in front of me sat unnoticed for several minutes. My girlfriends had seen it and were giggling like schoolgirls until I noticed. I gasped, opened it and found the loveliest and most perfect engagement ring. A white gold band with sapphires and diamonds. Perfect. I made him put it on me and we were officially engaged.

The rest of the afternoon was a bit of a downer as Mark, being thoroughly exhausted from being up for about 24 hours and having had a glass of wine with lunch, pretty much passed out in my eeny, meeny single bed in my dorm. I didn’t mind though…we were starting our forever together. A few hours sleep wouldn’t matter.

Mark slept until about 6am! I gave my girlfriends early morning farewells as they headed off to Giverny on a final tour in France and then Mark and I loaded up my meagre belongings in the Passat, grabbed a final pain au chocolat and set off on our gorgeous journey across France to Geneva. Unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures of us from those days in Caen but I do have some lovely pictures of us in Geneva, beginning the rest of our life together. It seems that good things come to those who wait.

We were both a hell of a lot thinner 6 years ago but we’re no less happier today. We have a few more members to our family and have experienced a lot of happiness and joy.

I’m really looking forward to seeing what the next 6 years brings! I’m hoping, maybe they’ll be a bit thinner too!

So this is my Flashback Friday today. Sharing memories of a happy time. That’s all. Simple! If you’d like to tell a story about a happy (or not so happy) time in your life, I’d love to know about it. Write a post, take us back in time and then link it up in the Linky below. Then sit back and have a visit to other’s Memory Lane to ease yourself into the Bank Holiday Weekend. While you’re enjoying the ride, I’ll be having our first ultrasound scan of Bebe Numero Deux. Hopefully I’ll have happy news to bring you next week.

Cultural Differences: University- priviledge or right?

Posted by cafebebemama on Nov 11, 2010 in American Mum Me | 9 comments

My University, La Crosse, Wisconsin

Today I watched a horrible news story on the BBC. UK University students stormed the Conservative Party Headquarters in London causing a riot, destroying a building, shutting down traffic and creating a mighty fuss which required Riot Police, Firefighters and Ambulances to attend. They were protesting the current Lib-Con government’s plans to treble tuition fees and cut university funding in England.

It’s a horrible thing. I respect the student’s right to protest. They’re angry and deserve to have their voices heard but storming a party’s headquarters, endangering thousands, grinding the West End of London to a halt, injuring several, destroying public property? Is this the best way to make your voice heard. The students who have participated in this part of the protest will surely be arrested and made an example of. I wonder if they considered that when they put on their protest gear and picked up their placards this morning?

I, as an American, am amazed that it costs so little, relatively speaking, to attend University in England. The idea that University should be a right is what boggles my mind. I consider it a priviledge and thus, unfortunately, is not available for everyone. In the US it is generally the “done thing” to go to University when you finish high school at 17 or 18. It’s where a lot of people “find themselves” and sometimes spend 5+ years doing so. It’s not easy to get into in the US. When I went to University nearly *cough cough* 23 years ago (oh my god I’m old!), I was lucky. I had good grades and decent University exam scores and there was not as much competition to get into University. For those who couldn’t get into University (or didn’t want to go) there was always “Junior College” (similar to College here) or jumping feet first into the work force.

What didn’t exist, in the US, was FREE education. If you wanted to go to University you had to pay. Full stop, end of. There were choices on how to pay. If you were lucky and had generous parents who could afford it (as I did), your parents paid. If you weren’t so lucky you applied for grants and scholarships and loans and ended up with a fair whack of money to pay back at the end of 4-6 years. If you were lucky, your tuition wasn’t outrageous if you attended a “state school” (one of the Universities in your home state where you got a slight break on tuition). If you were ambitious and attended an “out of state” school or “Ivy League” school (Harvard, Yale, Stanford), your tuition for half a year at school could run upwards of $20,000!

I went back to University in 2004 to pursue a second degree in French teaching. I applied for Student Loans and ended up with $10,000 for a year of University. I am still paying back that loan. I will be paying back that loan (at very low interest and minimum payments) for some time. I never once considered it the US government’s responsibility to pay for my desire to further my education. I know you might say, “Well, the US government never paid for anyone’s University education so why would you expect it?” Fair enough. But looking at what Young Americans are paying to “find themselves” and get an education, I don’t think that University students in England have much to complain about.

Yes, I know, perhaps me saying that will get me some negative comments. I know, I’m not English. Maybe I don’t have a right to give an opinion. But I do know that when Little Miss is old enough to go to University, if we’re able to, we’ll pay for her education. If we aren’t, we’ll help her to get a loan to afford her education and when she’s in the work force, she’ll have to start paying it back. If that’s the path she chooses, there will be responsibilities that come with it. I would never expect this country to foot the bill for Little Miss to get a degree. It’s a priviledge to do so, not a right.

I’m not sure what the 30,000 protesters hoped to achieve today. They obviously communicated that they “aren’t happy”! I hope they are happy when they’re sitting in a jail cell and paying back their crimes through community service and fines. I hope they didn’t miss their lectures or any exams today. What happened today is shameful and I don’t think will change anything. Perhaps what needs to happen is that more scholarships and grants need to be created to allow worthy students to attend University. I am grateful for my education and eternally grateful that my parents were able to help me. I continue to pay off my debt and would never expect it to be any different.

Photo courtesy of www.bbc.co.uk

Dear Me

Posted by cafebebemama on Nov 30, 2009 in Motherhood, Writing Workshop | 16 comments

A 1970's Me

A Writing Workshop Prompt for this week:  Write a letter to your 16 year old self!  Well, I’m going to take poetic license and just write it to myself and not limit it to 16…there’s too much to warn myself about!

Dear Karin,

I’m hoping to save you a bit of strife and stress by writing this letter.  Read it, digest it and decide how you wish to proceed.

When you’re nearly six and a half years old a major devastation will happen…you will have a BROTHER!!!  Try not to be so sad…he may be a bit mental and hyperactive but he actually turns out to be a pretty wonderful person.  Give him a break, don’t sit on him and make him scream “I Can’t BREATHE, I Can’t BREATH!!!” and maybe try to be his friend.  I know there’s a big age difference between you two but you’re all you’ve got when it comes right down to it.

Jump forward a few years…you really need to not be SUCH a perfect daughter.  You see, if you keep following the rules and never doing what some of the other kids do (drinking, smoking, staying out late, having boyfriends, kissing, etc…) you’re going to go to University when you’re 17 and go off the rails a bit.  Because you never break the rules, when you get to University and have NO ONE to answer to, you’ll go to parties, drink too much, puke, miss classes, sleep through classes when you do go and end up with 3 REALLY bad grades in your first semester that your Grade Point Average will NEVER recover from.  So maybe consider letting your hair down a bit in High School…it might save you a bit of insanity in your first year at University.

Be prepared and know that when you are living in Chicago and are working in your first job, you will get FIRED from it because you go behind your company’s back.  Don’t do it…it’s not worth it!  And when you’re moving from your 5th apartment in 18 months in your Mom’s van, WATCH OUT when you pull out of the alley…you’re going to get smashed into!  Oh, and a word about your fitness and weight when you’re 22 years old…REMEMBER what it feels like to be a normal weight and very fit…YOU WILL NEVER SEE THIS WEIGHT AGAIN if you don’t heed this advice.  Yeah, sure, you worked in a Health Club so you HAD to work out…it was your job.  But keep it up…you’ll be happy you did 18 years on.

When you move to a rather horrible town called DECATUR (put a nice Southern American accent on it…urrrrr), DON’T allow that family to set you up with a man who’s name rhymes with FARTY.  He’s a horrible, horrible man who you will waste your time on for 2 years and who will make your life miserable.  He will make you think you don’t deserve better.  He will treat you badly.  He will leave you in the house you’re sharing every weekend to go home and party with his friends.  He will mistreat animals…don’t you think that might make him evil?  He is not a nice man, he has an evil family and he is an alcoholic.  Run, run, run…never take that number…don’t look back.

When you meet your friend Julie in Peoria, ask her a lot more about her brother and tell her that she should convince her brother to leave his wife before she gets a chance to do it to him and break his heart.  Tell her to tell him that there’s someone better for him who will make his life complete and she just happens to live in the US.  In fact, maybe you should go with her on a visit home to England and meet him first.  You might save yourself some time!

If you don’t take advantage of the tip above, consider going back to school to pursue that French Teaching degree a little sooner than the age of 33.  You will have more quality time with the Love of Your Life when you go to France to study for a term.  Before you go to France, try to sell everything you own in ADVANCE so you won’t have so much to sort out when you don’t come back.  And you’ll have more money up front to spend on the repeated Ferry crossings and travel to see the love of your life.  Also, beware that there will be a ridiculous snow storm during the day of your first ferry crossing which will make it VERY difficult for you to make that Ferry.  You will arrive but you’ll have a lot less stress if you manage to catch a bus to Ouistreham earlier in the day.  Seriously…do this.

You will survive the incessant paperwork and stress of applying for Visa upon Visa to live in England with the love of your life.  Don’t despair…it’s all worth it.  Consider selling your kidney in order to afford it, however.  You only need one after all.

When you return from a fab holiday in Spain, PAY ATTENTION when you are driving home from work and you won’t crash into an oncoming car and total your 1991 red Mini that you love so much.  If you don’t crash your Mini, you won’t have to take the bus into work for months on end…this is valuable advice.

Finally, know that Little Miss is not going to come out the conventional way, NO MATTER WHAT.  Arrange for an elective caesarian in advance and if you haven’t sold your kidney, do so now to afford a stay at a private hospital.  Also, know that your boobs are not going to work, NO MATTER WHAT and save yourself tears and stress and formula feed from the get go.  You’ll thank me for this later.  And even though you’ll have difficult nights in the long run, cherish the hours that you hold Little Miss while she sleeps…you’ll miss it 18 months down the line.

And one last word to you…consider NOT taking any of this advice!  I really believe that everything that happens to you from being fired in 1993 to 2009 is BECAUSE you were fired in 1993.  I believe in fate and if you don’t go through some of the crap you go through, you’ll never be rewarded with the love of your life in England and a gorgeous daughter.  You may as well listen to and follow the advice before 1993 though…that’s bang on target!  Good luck with your life Karin!  Remember…all good things come to those who wait!

What would you advise YOU to do, if you could go back?

A 1970's Christmas