Posts Tagged "me"

Me Right Now

Posted by cafebebemama on Feb 1, 2012 in Blogging, Gallery, Motherhood | 0 comments

Inspired by a photo blog prompt from Tara Cain’s Sticky Fingers Gallery, I took a picture of “Me Right Now” last week Friday. I think it’s a pretty accurate photo of the REAL side of motherhood…the one we all go through from time to time!

This was taken on Friday night. We had had a LONG day, Daddy hadn’t arrived home yet. It was about 6:30pm, I was tired, worn out and slightly down. Sam, as you can well see, was not entirely pleased at that moment. Rest assured that I took this self-portrait and settled my son post haste. It’s real…it’s life…it’s motherhood. It was me, right then!

Just a reminder, for the month of February I am closing comments on Cafe Bebe. I’m getting back to the heart of why I blog. Because I enjoy sharing and writing. You are more than welcome to find me on Twitter (@cafebebe) to leave me a comment or to chat. You are welcome to find me on Facebook to do the same. And you can always contact me through my personal email or the contact form on my About page. Thank you for your patience this month. I hope you enjoy the writing and I’ll see you at the end of the month to report back on my experimental findings!

My Simple Pleasures

Posted by cafebebemama on Mar 2, 2011 in Blogger Love, Gallery, Motherhood | 47 comments

As ever, when it comes to The Gallery, I can never choose ONE image to represent the theme. This week’s theme is Simple Pleasures. I prefer to think of my first series as slightly GUILTY pleasures but also simple nonetheless. Since being diagnosed coeliac, bread and noodles are mostly off the menu unless I craft them myself or spend £800 to buy them in the store. I whizzed up a childhood favourite, Chocolate Chip Bread, two weeks ago which was a truly GUILTY pleasure. I ate about 3/4 of the loaf! Not in one sitting, mind you…two.

I’ve also become a real fan of the RICE NOODLE. They still retain a vaguely noodle-like texture and feel and are much more pleasant than maize noodles which are mostly like chewing on corn-flavoured cardboard. Pad Thai noodles really hit the spot the other night. Nutritious and delicious and gluten-free.

My biggest guilty/simple pleasure was the photo in the middle: Time to Myself! Last week was Hell. Little Miss was proper poorly and only wanted Mummy…at nearly every hour of the day and night. From screaming if Daddy came near to worrying me with running temperatures, I was at my wits end. Finally on Friday we got some anti-biotics and my daughter began to return to normal. Finally on Sunday I got some Time to Myself. A rare and precious commodity that I was most grateful for. Armed with my new laptop, BlackBerry, a box of tissues, the sun coming through the window and orange juice and tea on the bedside table, I was thoroughly happy, on my own, for 2 hours! It doesn’t take much does it?

My second set of simple pleasures is above. Saturday and Sunday were good days. Little Miss came out of her sicky cave to eat a proper brekkie for the first time in days. Despite poo difficulties and low energy, we managed to tackle the mountain that is Soft Play on Sunday. Daddy shuffled around, rubbing his knees raw to play in the maze with his daughter. They climbed and slid and balanced and swang. They had a great time together and Daddy’s Girl was back in action. A very good end to the weekend and a very simple pleasure to see them play together and enjoy each other’s company again.

These are my simple and sometimes guilty pleasures? What are yours? I can’t wait to see the others in this week’s Gallery!

This is Me Part Two

Posted by cafebebemama on Feb 28, 2011 in Motherhood | 4 comments

A few weeks ago, I took up the challenge of a “meme” from Tara Cain called “This is Me Meme”. The challenge was to get your child to draw YOU. My 2 yrs 9months Little Miss made a rather lovely sketch of her Mummy. I love toddler art…there’s nothing like it!

My favourite part of the drawing is that Little Miss drew herself as well. Next to me, naturally! I also find that she’s rather accurately drawn my general apple shape which is slightly distressing but she has managed to give me some nice skinny legs. Precious girl!

I’m not entirely sure what’s over my head though…maybe the sun? And of course, I love my wonky smile. I never knew I had a wonky smile!

But I digress as one does when analysing children’s art. You see, I was challenged by another lovely blogger, to further define myself. Amy from And 1 More Means Four…Plus One More has tagged me to Fill in the Blanks!

I’ve realised that the majority of my posts lately have either been about Gluten-Free eating/diet/recipes or photo related. I quite enjoy the photo themed posts but perhaps you might like to learn a little bit about the woman behind Cafe Bebe? Or not? Here goes either way:

I am…an outwardly confident, chatty sort of gal who seems quite capable but inside I wobble over a lot of things. I am eager to please, willing to bend, happy to change if it makes life easier for others. I forget about myself all of the time. When an email pings through, I ping it straight back. I’m keen to be accepted and liked. I’m still seeking approval in everything I do. I am a good mummy but I constantly wonder if I could be better.

The bravest thing I’ve done…was to leave behind my life, family and friends and take a chance on an Englishman. I was 34 years old when I left the US to start a Study Abroad Programme in France which just so happened to be a channel away from the man I would fall head over heels in love with. 6 weeks after finally meeting he proposed; 4 months after leaving the US I was introduced to a new country and the rest of my life; 3 months after settling in the East Midlands I journeyed back to the US to wrap up that part of my life; 1 year to the day that he proposed we were married. Not only was it the BRAVEST thing I’ve ever done, it was the best.

I feel prettiest when…I take the time to dress properly. I don’t mean dress “up” necessarily but when I am wearing clothes that fit me and flatter me. I also feel prettiest when I do my hair and makeup and make an effort to look less “slummy mummy” and more ME. My husband notices it and always comments which should tell me that I should do it more often. Lack of money and low self-esteem thanks to still-packed-on-post-pregnancy-pounds tend to stop me from doing this.

Something that keeps me awake at night is…fear of not being the best that I can be. Fear that one day my husband won’t look at me in the same way and will feel less in love with me. Fear that one day my daughter will hate me. Fear that one day I won’t be here to look after my daughter and husband and they’ll have to find a path without me.

My favourite meal is…difficult for me to eat now as I can’t! My favourite meal used to be lasagne. Now that I can’t eat “proper” pasta, lasagne doesn’t have the same attraction as gluten-free pasta isn’t as nice. I love pizza and chips (now both gluten-free) and I’m quite fond of Pad Thai with Rice Noodles. My meals have changed and it’s still taking me a while to get used to it.

The way to my heart is…to love me unconditionally. No matter if I disappoint you, no matter if I screw up, no matter if I’m cranky and miserable. If you can still love me and accept me with all of my weaknesses, you’re in! My husband does this every day. My daughter does this, without knowing, every day. Oh, and if you bring me a Coke and a gluten-free item of some sort, you’re also in!

I would like to be…able to add to our family by succeeding at my freelance work. Cafe Bebe Media was “launched” last week as I registered as self-employed with HMRC. I would love to be able to buy things for me, for Little Miss, for my husband. I’d love to be able to treat us to a trip to America this year as we haven’t been back for a year and a half. I would like to be thought of well in the blogging community and respected for my abilities. I would like to be thought of as a good mother with a delightful daughter. I would like to be a better wife and a stronger me.

What do you think about me then?

I’d like to challenge 3 beautiful bloggers to FILL IN THE BLANKS:

Tales from the Village (Rachael), Mummy Matters (Sabina) and Rosie Scribble (Rosie)

Young Me, Round Me, Just Right Me

Posted by cafebebemama on Mar 23, 2010 in Blogger Love, Motherhood | 24 comments

Young Me circa 1974

I’ve been watching “The Gallery” at Tara’s Sticky Fingers for a few weeks now and have found a theme that I can tackle.  This week’s theme is ME!  I like ME!  The picture above is me, on the couch at our cottage, thumb in the mouth and in the process of twirling my hair with my left hand.  I have abandoned the thumb in the mouth but to this day, when stressed or tired I will take my hair in my left hand (why the left, I don’t know?) and twirl it.  It’s soft and silky and calms me.  Little Miss, on occasion has done the same…how bizarre!

Round Me, circa May 2008

This me was a very round me and a very happy me.  The size of my belly may help to explain why I continue to struggle with my abdominal muscles!  I really wish I would have taken more pictures of myself throughout my pregnancy.

Just Right Me, circa June 2008

And here’s the Just Right Me!  With my gorgeous Little Miss being who I believe I was meant to be…a mother.

This post was written for “The Gallery” at Sticky Fingers.  This week’s theme is “ME”.  Here’s what you do:

If you’re new to The Gallery, here’s the brief: I will give you a prompt, an idea, a notion and you go out and take a photograph using that prompt. Or just use a photo you already have.

The prompt could be one word, an object, an idea, a phrase, anything, and you have to post a picture which you feel represents that prompt.

Post it on your blog and write about it.

That’s it.

It’s not about taking technically brilliant photos – although if you do, I’d love to see them too. It’s about having a passion for pictures; any photos, all photos whether you took it with your all singing all dancing SLR or snapped it on your camera phone.

You don’t even have to be a blogger to take part – just send me your photo and I will publish it on my blog for you. You don’t even have to include your name if you prefer.

When you’ve published it, come back on Wednesday and via a groovy widget thing you can add a link to your post and share it with everyone.

Visit others, comment if you like them or feel inspired by them. Just go out and encourage and support amateur photographers out there.

Come back on Wednesday and join in. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.

And if you want to make sure you don’t miss any prompts or entries in future, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed.

Go on, clicky click away, you know you want to …

So this week’s theme is: Me (as in you!)

I want a picture which reflects who you are. It doesn’t have to be a self-portrait if you don’t want to. Just something which says: Me (and Josie don’t you DARE post a photo of your feet).

It can be you as a child, you now, a body part (I can hear some of you chuckling from here), doing something you love, taken by someone you love etc etc.

Thank you Tara…I quite enjoyed this challenge…hope you enjoy the results!

Inside my Head

Posted by cafebebemama on Jan 28, 2010 in American Mum Me, Motherhood, Writing Workshop | 10 comments

Inside my Head

Inside my head I am many things…wife, mother, friend, writer, me.

• Wife…Inside my head I wonder, am I supportive enough, do I show him enough affection, does he really know how very much he means to me and how much he’s improved my life?  Inside my head I wonder if I should be doing more around the house and less on the computer.  Inside my head I used to wait for the other shoe to drop butI don’t worry about that any more.  Inside my head I think about our life together and what it will be like in the future.  Inside my head I try not to worry about the “what if’s” and “should haves” as they drive me to distraction.  Inside my head I say what I feel but am sometimes afraid to say it out loud.  Inside my head I dream of cooking like Nigella and Jamie but in reality I’m far from it.  Inside my head I don’t feel attractive anymore.
• Mother…Inside my head I worry about the day when I am no longer here to support my daughter.  Inside my head I second-guess my cautious nature.  Inside my head I sometimes shout with frustration but never shout out loud.  Inside my head I imagine a time when Little Miss will hate me and won’t speak to me…I dread that day.  Inside my head I compete with other mothers and silently cheer Little Miss’ differences and accomplishments.  Inside my head I wish I could be SuperMum…instead, I’m just me.
• Friend…Inside my head I worry about whether my friends actually like me.  Inside my head I think that they just tolerate me.  Inside my head I get very tired of organising things and no one joins them.  Inside my head I wish that I had more friends.  Inside my head I feel very lonely some days.
• Writer…Inside my head I wonder if I really have what it takes.  Inside my head I can’t quite figure out why I’m not as successful as I think I should be.  Inside my head I feel woefully inadequate around some other writers and bloggers.  Inside my head I fret over some blogs that are more successful than mine.  Inside my head I think that sometimes the only person reading what I write is my family.  Inside my head I don’t understand why people don’t take me up on my offers of brilliant writing.  Inside my head I’m a little girl waiting for the teacher’s approval.
• Me…Inside my head I am desperate to be accepted and seek out approval.  Inside my head I fear that I will disappoint those who love and support me.  Inside my head I fear that I will die way before my time and leave my daughter without a mother and my husband without a wife.  Inside my head I worry that one day, my husband won’t come home from work because he’s been in a terrible car accident.  Inside my head I dream that I am the perfect daughter but know that I am far from it.  Inside my head I miss my family terribly and wish that I could ring them up and meet them for coffee.  Inside my head I miss American holidays more than I let on.  Inside my head I berate myself for letting myself go but outside my head I don’t do much about it.  Inside my head I despise my shape and looks and cry over the way I used to look.

Inside my head is a rather loud place.  It’s a wonder I get anything done!

(This post was done in support of Josie’s Writing Workshop and is prompt #3- What have the voices in your head been saying lately?  Please don’t think I’m totally mental…I don’t hear the voices ALL the time.)