Posts Tagged "delivery"

Hospital Report

Posted by cafebebemama on Nov 23, 2011 in Bebe, Blogger Love, Motherhood, NaBloPoMo | 12 comments

Open Wide Mummy

Guess from where I’m writing this post? Ok, I’ll give you two guesses and one of them is NOT my comfortable abode! That’s right, from my hospital bed. I’m still here, still waiting, still wondering.

I managed to get some sleep in spurts last night which helped me to feel stronger this morning. I was put on a monitor around 8am to check Bebe’s HR and my contractions. Bebe was a bit sleepy at first but picked up more as time went on. I was continuing to have regular contractions that were uncomfortable but manageable. The contractions (or as the Consultant later labelled them: “tightenings”) were not enough to get anyone jumping like last night. Darn.

I struggled to get gluten-free toast for breakfast and had to educate the brekkie caterers that I knew full well what did and didn’t have gluten in it and Rice Krispies most definitely does have trace gluten in it (It really does!). Ding!

Eventually, around 11am the Consultant arrived along w/ 2 sidekicks. They bustled in and got straight down to it. Basically, nothing’s happening and unless it does over the next day or two at most they’re going to send me home to wait for the MAGIC date of 2 December. The contractions aren’t contractions but “tightenings” (Consultant is a man) and the bleeding (which is still happening) is more than likely just uterine irritation. The Consultant was definitely lacking in bedside manner & pretty much told me that it’s not my decision and there’s no medical necessity to bring the 2 December date forward unless things change dramatically. Ultimately I’ll be sent home to “wait and see”.

I questioned why we did the steroid jabs and the rather annoying and ouchie canula and was met with “just in case”.”Just in case” doesn’t seem to be happening however. I have continued to have spotting/light bleeding throughout the day but contractions or tightenings seem to have stopped altogether. I’ll be spending Tuesday night in hospital and will be seen by the humourless consultant et al in the morning some time. I’m hoping that if all does grind to a halt by the morning, they’ll at least send me home for the next 9 days to wait and see. I’d rather be waiting at home than hanging in hospital.

I do have to say, however, that the year-old Peterborough City Hospital is a very nice NHS hospital. The ward bays are FAR more spacious than the old hospital and 4 bays share a large toilet & shower room as opposed to having to walk down the hall for one like the old hospital. Aside from the breakfast caterers, the Lunch and Dinner menu has rather nice menu choices, many of which are gluten-free (and well labelled!). There is also a telly (free) and no restrictions regarding mobile use which suits me just fine! Peterborough City Hospital gets a thumbs up from me so far. And ultimately, if I do go home, it’s been a good reconnaissance mission for me. See, I can see the positive!

There we have it! Day two for the Hospital Report. I wish I had more progress to report but apparently Bebe is enjoying his/her stay more than I thought! I do try to be a good host. I’m just rubbish at eviction it seems. More reports to follow for all those who are interested in Bebe Alert 2011. For those who aren’t, sorry to disappoint, I’m a bit stuck on this topic for now.

If anyone has a special hospital “waiting game” story to share, feel free to add it in the comments below. I appreciate any sources of support I can get!

The Delivery Decision is in

Posted by cafebebemama on Nov 10, 2011 in Bebe, Motherhood, NaBloPoMo | 12 comments

As many of you know, we attended our 36 week scan and consultant appointment on Wednesday. Here’s what we found out from the scan:

• Bebe is healthy and seemingly happy. Current measured weight is 6lbs 10oz at 36 weeks.
• Bebe is head-down and all physical development appears to be normal.
• Placenta is still covering the cervix thus medically advisable to proceed with elective c-section

We then met with the consultant. It was not the same consultant as we met with at 17 weeks but that’s beyond our control. First the consultant introduced herself and then she asked me a few questions including “Well, what have you decided?” which sort of confused me. I reinforced our desire to proceed with a c-section. She then asked if I was aware of the risks with a c-section and I reassured her that I have indeed done my research and fully appreciate the risks and recovery issues related to c-sections. I also mentioned that with the fact that my placenta was still considered “low-lying” and covering the cervix, I was of the understanding that medically necessitated a c-section. She agreed with all of the above.

The consultant then advised me that they normally like to schedule elective c-sections as close to the due date as possible which surprised me. I questioned this with her. All of the information that I have read regarding low-lying placenta and elective c-section indicates that they don’t want to risk you going into labour so will tend to perform elective c-sections before the due date. Of course, the longer Bebe is cooking, the better for Bebe.

After a bit more discussion about procedures and such, the consultant left the room to determine a date. About 15 minutes later she came back and gave us 2 December, 2011 as a delivery date. Mark and I looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders and agreed. It does sound like a nice date and it is on a Friday which will help with childcare for Ella. Hopefully, all things being well, we’ll be in hospital over the weekend and then be able to start the next week at home.

I do have concerns, however, about going so long. My original due date was 7 December so the new due date is only 5 days before that. I worry that if I go into labour early, my planned, elective c-section will then become an emergency c-section. I worry about bleeding over the next 23 days even though I haven’t had any bleeding issues and worry about making it another 23 days. But, I have to just try to think positively and think good thoughts and hope that my body cooperates and waits until 2 December. And have faith that the medical professionals are doing the best for me and for Bebe.

The list of items to accomplish over the next 23 days includes:

• Finish decorating new Master Bedroom
• Make-over Ella’s Big Girl Bedroom
• Re-assemble nursery to return to “nursery” status
• Buy bottles, changing pad, Moses basket, infant car seat, sling, other bits and bobs
• Breathe, enjoy remaining time as a family of three, try not to fall out with Ella
• Try to sleep

It seems that we will have a December Bebe! So begins the countdown…

Yes, I want a c-section and No, I’m not too posh to push

Posted by cafebebemama on Nov 9, 2011 in Bebe, Blogger Love, Motherhood, NaBloPoMo | 14 comments

Approximately 8 1/2 months ago we found out that instead of remaining a family of three, we were to become a family of FOUR before 2011 was done. Bebe wasn’t entirely planned but it was a more than welcome happening. Now, at 36 weeks pregnant, we only have 3-4 more weeks to wait to meet Bebe and introduce him or her to our family and the blogosphere. Oh and have our lives turned upside-down once again.

When our pregnancy was confirmed through two Morrisons-own pregnancy tests and eventually, a booking in appointment and scan at 11 1/2 weeks, I began to think about the delivery. Yes, I know, I have an over-active imagination and tend to worry. So sue me. I have written a post, Labour & Delivery- My Choice, about our first delivery experience with Ella. It was not a pleasant one and definitely is not something I want to repeat. As a result of our somewhat traumatic first delivery experience, I knew what I wanted for our 2nd delivery. Yes, I want a c-section and no, I’m not “too posh to push.”

There are new NICE guidelines regarding women, c-sections, the NHS and rights. I would like to preface my situation with the fact that I do have several risk factors that are working against a natural delivery for Bebe. First of all, I am 40 (41 next week) which is not really a MEDICAL risk factor but puts me in a category that is immediately referred for consultant care. I also have asthma which is managed very well by daily medication. The two largest risk factors, however, that are making my case for c-section more favourable are the fact that I have had a c-section with Ella’s birth (emergency) and I currently have a low-lying placenta which, if still in the same place at tomorrow’s scan and consultant appointment, immediately puts me into the “medical necessity” category.

So there we have it. I have some risk factors that have brought forth the discussion with the consultant regarding Bebe’s delivery. I met with the consultant way back at 17 weeks as I had been referred to her due to my risk factors. At our meeting nearly 20 weeks ago, her primary goal was to convince me to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarian) as was to be expected. I listened to her but then stated my case. Not only do I have several risk factors but I have some real post-traumatic issues which are still unresolved regarding Ella’s delivery. Our delivery experience was horrid and physically damaging to me ultimately but never had any effect on my bonding with Ella. What I was able to communicate to the consultant was that I wanted to have a positive birth experience that I was fully in control of, that I was fully aware of the risks of a repeat c-section and the recovery period for major abdominal surgery. I was also very aware of the desire for the NHS to keep natural birth rates high and discourage c-sections.

The consultant listened to me, took into account my risk factors and medical details of my first delivery and agreed that, yes, I presented a fairly strong case for a repeat (elective) c-section. This was noted in my maternity notes. There was no date agreed upon but an appointment was made for 36 weeks to discuss the options. This is what we will be attending today. The definitive decision about our delivery for Bebe. What has changed since week 17 is the currently low-lying placenta which may or may not have moved. We will find this out immediately before our appointment.

I have had many people question WHY I would WANT to have a c-section. I can assure you that I am not too “posh” to push but yes, I do have fears about my body’s ability to birth a baby in the “natural” way. To tell you the honest to goodness truth, I’m not entirely sure that I was made to BIRTH babies. I provide a wonderful home for my babies but I seem not to be able to get them out in the usual way. I also have fears about the c-section but I have more faith in the medical profession and a c-section than I do in nature. I know it’s major abdominal surgery. I know any number of things could go wrong. I know my recovery will be slower and longer. I know it’s not going to be easy or pleasant but it’s what I want, what I believe will be best for me and for Bebe and what I feel will be the safest solution for both of us.

So yes, I want a c-section and no, I’m not too posh to push. Today, when we meet with the consultant, I will be talking to her about scheduling a delivery date for Bebe, asking what the c-section will be like (hopefully MUCH different to the emergency c-section we had 3 1/2 years ago) and feeling more confident that this is the right decision for both Bebe and Mummy. I’ve been given some amazing information about “natural c-section” from my friend Luschka at Diary of a First Child and I hope and dream that this will be possible for us. I’ll let you know how it goes!

Labour & Delivery: My Choice

Posted by cafebebemama on Jul 13, 2011 in Motherhood | 16 comments

The birth of my first child, Ella, was not a pleasant one. Thankfully there was not one thing wrong with Ella and she never stressed or suffered a bit. Unlike her Mummy. Ella was nearly 2 weeks overdue. We were scheduled for induction on Sunday 1 June, 2008. Ella was born Tuesday 3 June, 2008 by emergency c-section at 1:50am after induction, Syntocinon, Epidural x many and failure to progress at 3cm. Following her delivery I lost 1.5litres of blood and was left weak, pale and fairly miserable.

The outcome was perfectly safe and healthy for Ella. The outcome for me was not. It was a thoroughly miserable experience, the whole of my labour and delivery, and is one that I look back on through partially closed eyes. I don’t like to talk about it; I don’t really like to think about it. The only bright spot was when they pulled Ella from me (which I couldn’t see) and I heard a quiet cry and they said “It’s a GIRL!” That was the one bright spot. The rest was horrible.

Before being induced with waves of Syntocinon in the early afternoon of 2 June, 2008, I was offered an Epidural. I chose that for my pain relief but unfortunately the epidural was “patchy” which left me with partial feeling down the right side of my body. I couldn’t feel the full force of contractions but I could feel pain and was ridiculously uncomfortable for the duration. The midwives continued to top up my epidural and then attempted to get the epidural to flow to the right side of my body by turning me slightly to the right so the epidural could “drift”. Fun. I was uncomfortable, couldn’t find a suitable position in which to be propped up (I couldn’t lay down because of the epidural) and couldn’t rest at all. The epidural and Syntocinon drip began around 1:00pm. Ella wasn’t delivered until 1:50am. I was chock-a-block of drugs for 12 hours. No wonder I was a mess.

For a long time after Ella’s birth I didn’t want to talk about what I had gone through. I still don’t like to share my “war story” but I have found a few women who went through similar situations which is slightly comforting. We didn’t necessarily plan to have a 2nd child but from the moment I knew I was pregnant with this baby, I’ve been fretting over what this labour and delivery experience might be like. I know that there’s every possibility that this labour and delivery will be entirely different. I’m not willing to take that gamble however.

I’m fully aware of the risks of a repeat c-section. I’m also fully aware of the risks of trying for a VBAC and “failing” and ending up in the same situation (if not worse) as last time. It’s my choice. I WANT an elective c-section. I want to know when this baby is going to be born so I can prepare Ella, our family and myself. I want to be calm about this delivery. I want it to be a positive experience where I am in control and am fully prepared for everything. I think the risks and side-effects will be less horrific if the delivery is a calm and cool one and not an “emergency” situation. Is this not my right on the NHS? I’m not “too posh to push”. I want an elective c-section because I feel it will be a far safer option for me and for my baby. I am choosing this.

I knew that my chances of getting an elective c-section were slim when I went for my referral appointment with the consultant on 4 July. The NHS hospitals like to keep their “natural birth rates” low. Peterborough City Hospital is no exception. When I sat in the appointment with my consultant, she shared with me, when I mentioned the desire for high natural birth rates, that Peterborough has one of the highest natural birth rates in the area. Woo hoo. Shall we throw a party?

I persevered, however. I pled my case. I related my first labour and delivery experiences. I mentioned all of the risks that I knew were possible. I told her that I had fully researched and was educated about the risks and after-effects of a repeat c-section. I related my feelings about such a negative first labour and delivery. I told her that I wanted a positive birth experience for what will be my final birth experience. I didn’t cry…I was prepared, educated and firm in my decision.

She agreed with me. But…she didn’t schedule me for an elective c-section YET. I will have an appointment with her at 36 weeks (9 November…God that seems a long way away) where we will again talk about where I am and how I feel. I will hopefully get a scheduled date then. I do not want to wait until I go into labour naturally. I want to be in control. Maybe I’m nuts. Maybe it would be entirely different. But this is what I want and I feel that I am entitled to get what I want. I will never have the perfect, Utopian, midwife-led birth that everyone dreams of. Because of my previous c-section and additional risk factors, if I go into labour on my own, I will immediately go to the monitored midwife unit where I’ll be strapped up to every monitor under the sun to make sure nothing goes wrong with this delivery. Previous experience tells me that intervention and me don’t mix.

I’ve carried on far too long here but I feel the need to get this out. What are your thoughts? Should women have a choice in how they labour and deliver? Why should the NHS have a say in your personal labour and delivery experience? What experience did you have and did it affect your subsequent deliveries? Feel free to share…

Wish I May, Wish I Might

Posted by cafebebemama on Sep 26, 2010 in Motherhood | 8 comments

June 2008

My amazing friend Sabina at Mummy Matters has just given birth to a gorgeous baby boy. It has given me flashbacks. Flashbacks to Little Miss’ labour & delivery, our attempts at breastfeeding and those first early days. It has made me wistful. The phrase “wish I may, wish I might” springs to mind a bit. I wonder what it would have been like if things had been different…

What if I hadn’t needed to be induced and spend a miserable night on the induction ward not sleeping and not knowing what was coming next? Perhaps I could have allowed my body to do what nature intended? I could have spent labour and delivery in the midwife-led unit with aromatherapy and a bag of energy filled snacks. I could have partnered with my husband to bring our daughter into this world in a calm and happy way. Instead I spent hours suffering a patchy epidural, a foot or other limb lodged in my ribs, never getting beyond 3cm and having an emergency Caesarian where I was shaking, grunting, hurting and panicked. I could have held my daughter instead of looking at her from a distance and then turning my head away to be ill for the umpteenth time. I could have been with my daughter in her first hour of life instead of being on a theatre operating table losing too much blood and wavering in and out of consciousness.

What if I had been able to breastfeed? What if the hospital was not as hot as a brick oven and had comfortable chairs and beds to promote successful breastfeeding? What if the midwives TAUGHT me how to breastfeed instead of shoving my boobs into my screaming newborn daughter’s mouth? Perhaps if these things had happened I wouldn’t have had to send my hubby out to the nearest Boots to buy formula, bottles and sterilisers as we weren’t prepared to not succeed. Perhaps if my boobs had worked in the way that they are supposed to I would not have such a horrible perception of breastfeeding and the pro-breastfeeding militia movement that the thought of breastfeeding makes me seethe with repressed anger. I look at my good friend breastfeeding her son and I think…wish I may, wish I might.

But had I not had the trials I had, would I be blessed with the glorious, precocious, ridiculously verbal, healthy, vivacious Little Miss that we have? What if is futile really. But I still wonder if things could have gone differently. If I am fortunate enough to have another Little Miss or Little Mister would I try to do things differently?

For starters, I believe I would aim for an elective Caesarian. I know that as I have had one, the option can be there to elect for a second. I feel that knowing what is coming, going into it prepared, calm and ready as opposed to in an emergency, frightened and ill would be more positive for us all. I don’t think I need to have a “badge of honour” to go through “natural labour and delivery”. What I would wish for is a calm and peaceful labour and delivery so I could enjoy my daughter or son and be fully present.

As much as I will be hung out to dry by saying this, I believe I would opt for formula feeding from the beginning as opposed to trying to breastfeed. I know that there would be every chance that I could succeed a second time but do I want to put myself through the emotional and physical stress and strain of the attempt? I don’t know. I had such a horrific experience with Little Miss that I don’t believe I want to go anywhere near that again.

I don’t know that I’ll get any “do-overs”. Little Miss is my world and is an amazing girl for which I am eternally grateful. If you could “wish I may, wish I might” would you do anything over?