The Week According to Sam- Week Two

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 12, 2011 in Bebe, Blogger Love, Motherhood, Week According to Sam | 4 comments

It’s hard to believe that ONLY two weeks have gone by. Already I can’t imagine our lives without Sam and my stay prior to his delivery on 24 November seems about 8 billion years ago. But no, in fact, it was only 18 days ago. This is probably why I seem to think I can do everything I used to do and why my body is doing it’s best to tell me otherwise. Poo.

Sam has settled right into our family perfectly. He is a very chilled baby for the most part, unless it’s time for a bottle. Then he shouts for England. Oh, he does do the same when he gets his nappy changed as well. Crikey! Honestly, the boy gets FURIOUS with me! Sam is still doing a LOT of sleeping and mostly on me as I am well and truly spoiling him with loads and loads of Mummy cuddle time. Take that Gina Ford! Of course, as a result, I get very little sleep myself but hey ho, I wasn’t going to win Yummy Mummy of the Year this year anyway. Maybe next year?

We changed Sam’s formula this week as he still wasn’t pooing properly. We had a minor “poonami” on Friday and it appears that we are getting to what normal newborn poo should be like (you wanted to know that right?). I am still waiting for the “up the back and hose ‘em down” sort of poo-splosion so I’ll have to keep you posted on that one. As Daddy went back to work this week, we’ve been forced to stay at home most of the week. I’m going a bit stir-crazy but the holidays are soon here and family are arriving this week which will help. We had a lovely family outing on Sunday to get our Christmas Tree. Even though Sam had no clue whatsoever, it was very special to have the four of us out there picking the perfect tree.

The following are pictures from the week according to Sam from the 2nd week of his life. You’ll notice a similar theme in most of the pictures…eyes closed and blissfully asleep. I can assure you that Sam does indeed open his eyes from time to time and they are, in fact, blue.

Mummy, Ella and Sam from our favourite place…the couch!

Sam’s favourite place to sleep (after Mummy’s chest)…his Xplory pushchair!

Ella’s got a “dummy buddy” now. Green means go, Red means STOP!

Artsy-fartsy photo of Mummy’s hand holding Sam’s. Aw….

Sam is exceptionally good at frowning and has his Mummy’s (and Ella’s) pout. Big time!

I don’t care what anyone says, Sam was well & truly smiling…it was not gas! Mind you, he is sleeping…

It’s been a long, hard week for Daddy and his boy. Time for Daddy cuddles…

There we have the week according to Sam. This week there will be Christmas decorations, outings with our best mates @MummyMatters & Beanie Boy, arrivals from Grandma Kathy and Auntie Julie and loads more fun. And of course, plenty of Mummy cuddles. Happy Holidays everyone…thanks for indulging my adoration for the Cafe Bebe offspring…

House Arrest or An Opportunity?

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 9, 2011 in Motherhood | 6 comments

I’m two weeks in to my stint of 6 weeks of rest. Or is it house arrest? I have had a c-section which is considered major abdominal surgery. Trust me, it is most definitely major abdominal surgery. Any surgery that involves taking internal organs out, moving them about, rummaging around and pushing and prodding to make sure everything is put back in the right place is most definitely major abdominal surgery.

This major abdominal surgery was a medical necessity to ensure that my son, Sam, arrived safely and that I would be able to be around to be his mother. For this, I am eternally grateful. But I am stubborn. I tried to pretend that I could “take it easy” but still do what I usually do in addition to being a mother to Ella and new mother to Sam. That may or may not have involved mopping the kitchen floor on my hands and knees the other day, setting goals for myself, taking out the laundry, making the bed, loading the dishwasher and tending to Sam and Ella’s needs.

On Tuesday, Mark went back to work and I had everything all sorted. Ella was dressed, fed and ready for school. Sam was dressed, fed and ready for the school run. I was bathed, dressed and ready for the school run. But the school run (all of 5 minutes from our house to school) was a cold and blustery one. I may have walked a bit too fast because of the cold. When I managed to sit down to feed Sam and relax for a bit, I began to feel really rough. I was FREEZING, exhausted and totally devoid of any energy whatsoever. The most I could muster was enough to go to the toilet, get Sam’s bottles and tend to his needs (happily I might add). Sam slept on me the majority of the day and I dozed off and on between rubbish daytime telly. I had over-done it!

I suffered through Wednesday with the same lack of energy and realised that, like it or not, I need to slow down. I need to stop thinking I can do everything and take advantage of my house arrest to recover. I need to spend time with my son, enjoy moments with Ella and just get through the day. I don’t like NOT doing. It’s very hard for me. But I have experienced the effects of doing too much and I like that even less. It’s hard to know just what I can and can’t do and how my body will respond but that’s part of recovery. Living and learning.

What I’m wondering is, instead of looking at this as house arrest (I can’t drive for 6 weeks and have very few people who visit), should I look at this as an opportunity? I could do some holiday baking (can be done from a sitting position at the kitchen table), write our Christmas cards, create some crafty projects for Ella and I to do. I have managed to sort out the online grocery shopping and should really start Christmas shopping online too (is it too late??). But what else? Who’s got some things for me to do? I need inspiration, links, ideas, clues, tips and tricks. Hit me with it. Share your links and help me fill the remaining four weeks of house arrest. I’ll try to document our attempts at your suggestions and let you know how we get on (and of course give you link credit).

Ready, steady…INSPIRE ME!

How would my life have been different?

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 8, 2011 in Blogging, Motherhood | 2 comments

I am not one to join in on “memes” very often in the blogging world. But, when one resounds with me, particularly in support of a good cause, I am more than happy to participate. I was tagged invited by Seasider in the City to tackle the question: “How would my life have been different?”.

Here’s the jist of what Seasider is talking about:

Your birth certificate. Just a piece of paper?

Not really, think of all the things you wouldn’t have been able to achieve in your life without it. You couldn’t get a passport, or driving licence, your parents wouldn’t have been able to claim family allowance, you couldn’t have gone to school, college, university. How would that affect your life now?

Millions of girls across the world have never had their births registered.

Because of this they are often denied access to education, they cannot prove their age and so are forced into childhood marriage. Their whole future is altered – the impact of a piece of paper.

The Plan have created an app that highlights the impact of this using your own details on Facebook. it’s a moving piece that highlights how your life could have been different – at age 14 I was dreaming of those who were plastered across my bedroom wall, in another culture I could have been preparing for my wedding to a stranger.

Please visit this site to see how your life would have panned out…

So, obviously, thinking about how my life would have been different if I didn’t have a birth certificate…quite simply, I wouldn’t be here in the UK, I wouldn’t be a wife to an amazing man and I wouldn’t be a mother to two absolutely gorgeous children. I wouldn’t have an education, I wouldn’t have been able to learn to drive, I wouldn’t have been able to leave the United States. In fact, I don’t know what I would have been able to do. I probably could not have done much of anything really, including having a job, social security, insurance, the power to vote, the ability to buy a car or rent an apartment or go to University.

My children, with their birth certificates, have been able to become (will become in Sam’s case) dual-citizens of both the United States and the United Kingdom, thus enabling them to, one day in the future, choose where they would like to live, work and love. In fact, in 2 weeks, we’re registering Sam’s birth in Peterborough which will give us his coveted birth certificate so we can start the process of getting his UK and US passports. What amazing opportunities a birth certificate creates!

Thank you to Seasider in the City for including me in this important campaign. I’m not one to “invite” others so if you would like to include yourself in the “Plan Your Story” campaign, feel free to join in and link back to Seasider in the City and/or myself. How would YOUR life have been different if you had never had a birth certificate?

Lessons Learned after 13 days as a 2nd time Mum

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 7, 2011 in Bebe, Little Miss Adventures, Motherhood | 6 comments

Well, here we are. Sam will be two weeks old tomorrow however TODAY is his actual, original due date. We’ve had an amazing two+ weeks and are starting to get used to life as a family of four. I wrote a post a while back entitled, Am I insane to think life won’t change much?. Everyone was quite polite in suggesting that we’d find our way and settle into a routine, etc, etc, etc. The real problem I managed to forget about was the fact that I would be recovering from a c-section. Minor issue…not. So here are some of the lessons I have learned after 13 days as a 2nd time Mum:

• It is indeed possible to love your 2nd child as much as your first. From the minute I looked into Sam’s little eyes, I was totally in love. That rubbish about not bonding with your baby post-c-section? Just that, rubbish.
• Sleep is over-rated but necessary. I still haven’t caught up on it. It is amusing how pleased you can be when you get 2-3 hours of solid sleep. Or how you consider it a small victory if you can catch a nap during the day time. No wonder sleep deprivation is a form of torture in prisoner-of-war situations. You know you’re a little too far gone when you can’t quite remember the name of your newest child or when you call him “Sid” (Hubby). As long as you can laugh about it though…
• Poo is exceptionally important. From your baby. When they aren’t pooing. One should also trust one’s instinct and not that of your crap community midwife when one thinks that maybe changing formula is a good idea due to the fact that your son is not pooing like a rock star. Also, it is possible to do a happy dance over the weaniest bit of poo and notify friends and family about it. You could only appreciate this if you are a parent.
• In regards to poo, it is fun to come up with new words in anticipation of the giant poo you’re hoping to see: poonami, poosaster, pooicane, poomaggedon, thunderpoo, poosplosion…feel free to add your own!
• As much as your first born adores her sibling, the change that the new baby brings into your lives is difficult. Expect tantrums, tears and whinging. This only lasts for a few days (in the best cases) but it will, indeed happen.
• When your body tells you to slow down, you really should listen to it. This is particularly appropriate when you are recovering from a c-section. You must remember: you have just had MAJOR abdominal surgery. You will get no awards for bravery and in fact, will hamper your recovery if you push it. The floor does not need mopping (on hands and knees even which I may or may not have done), it is not a contest to see how many things you can tick off as accomplishments. If you can manage to get all people dressed you have achieved enough.
• People kind of forget that you need looking in on/after with a 2nd pregnancy. I think most people assume that since you’ve “been there, done that” you won’t need as much attention/care. We only received a handful of “Congratulations” cards and a few (albeit lovely and very much appreciated) presents for Sam. Not a single bouquet arrived for me (yes, I know I sound whingey). The sooner you lower your expectations regarding attention and pressies in a 2nd pregnancy, the better.
• If you can make arrangements to have meals in the freezer or a family member to make a few meals for you to have on offer, great! You simply will not feel like cooking or baking. Pick up some ready-meals if necessary or make double portions of Cottage Pie or Bolognaise sauce to freeze. Also, MOST DEFINITELY sort out online grocery delivery BEFORE your delivery date. The sooner you have orders established the better. I am suffering from NOT having done this ahead of time. Hubby keeps popping to the store to pick up bits and bobs which is costing us more than a proper shop. It is my goal to get this sorted FINALLY this week.
• There’s nothing quite so precious as newborn cuddles. It is not possible to spoil your baby. You probably will suffer from greater sleep deprivation if you spend most of your time with your baby sleeping on your chest but this is a small price to pay. You will NEVER get these moments back. Cherish them, take advantage of them. When they are running to get away from you in a few years you will have these memories to look back on.
• BREATHE. When your 3 1/2 year old is pushing the boundaries and wanting and needing your attention while you are holding the baby and trying to get dinner ready, stop and BREATHE. Don’t take it out on your toddler. Take the time to understand what they are going through and give them the attention they deserve as well.
• It is possible to turn your “Mummy’s Girl” into a “Daddy’s Girl” in a short space of time. Due to my hospital stay prior to having Sam and Mark’s days off last week, Ella has well and truly become Daddy’s girl. Mark has been the one she calls for now; Mark does her bedtime routine; Mark is who she’s had to turn to. And this is a very good thing indeed. Ella was FAR too dependent on me and she needed to NEED her Daddy more. I know he is grateful for this new relationship with his daughter. And it gives me more time with Sam in these early days as well. I know we will need to work to balance our time with both children but for now, this is a great bonus.
• Blogging, social media and an online presence becomes FAR less important the minute a teeny, gorgeous baby enters your life. I have managed to go several days without opening the laptop! I have taken a bit of “maternity leave” from BritMums (fear ye not, I’ll be back!) and have realised that the most important thing is these three people under my roof. This is one of the best lessons I have learned and one that everyone else needs to remember. What is my line? “STEP AWAY FROM THE LAPTOP!” Enjoy your family, enjoy the holidays and enjoy yourself. Life’s too short to be wasted.

Now, it’s time for me to get back to my son and work on creating that poonami we’re hoping for!

The Week According to Sam- Week One

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 5, 2011 in Bebe, Motherhood, Week According to Sam | 9 comments

Indulge a new, 2nd-time mother. I’m going to do a weekly feature, sort of like Project 365, where I feature the week according to Sam: one picture from each day of the week. I’ve used this blog as a record of our life as the Cafe Bebe family and Ella has featured as the subject of the blog for 3 1/2 years. Sam needs a bit of “glory time” now as well! So bear with me as I share with you the week according to Sam- Week One (and a bit).

Approximately 2 hours after Sam’s birth, armed with a rapidly depleting battery, I got this photo on my BlackBerry whilst in recovery. We hadn’t packed a hat for Sam (shock, horror) and the recovery ward was a bit chilly. Our Asian midwife constructed this number for Sam to keep him warm and told us he could dress like an Arab! Rather amusing! We did get a lovely, donated, knitted hat shortly after this.

Ella meets her brother, “Baby Sam”, for the very first time. She’s smitten straight away. What were we worrying about?

Daddy FINALLY gets some proper cuddles with Sam when we arrive back at home. What a lovely moment!

A very proud big sister “holding” Baby Sam. We have to do this at least 2-3 times a day. Daddy gets more twitchy about this than Mummy for some reason.

Sam gets his first go in the bouncy chair that his big sister so enjoyed. Ah, memories!

I love this photo because, unbeknownst to them, Ella and Sam are mirroring each other perfectly. ADORABLE!

A favourite position for Sam…on Mummy’s chest is where the best naps come from. Especially at NIGHT!

This was our first outing since arriving home from hospital. We went shopping at Kiddicare and then had a pub lunch near our house where loads of OAP’s oohed and aahed over Sam. Cheers!

My favourite picture to date. This was taken on the day that Sam was scheduled to arrive in our lives. Instead, at 8 days old, he’s being cuddled and loved by his big sister Ella. Melted my heart, this one.

Look at that face! What a face! And how much he’s changed in only 9 days. Bliss…

Another outing but this time for big sister Ella to have some energy release at a local play place. Sam is snuggled up in his Snugglebundl which is IDEAL for car seats on chilly days. Sam quite enjoys it as you can see.

Here we are on day eleven and everyone is still managing pretty well. I’ll be updating our birth story next and my c-section recovery after that. Hopefully you’re not too sick of bebe business yet as I predict there will be more to come. But while I have your attention, thank you so much to all of the readers and commenters these last two weeks, who have taken the time to care and share with us. It certainly made my hospital stay much more bearable and has been lovely to turn to the blog and “feel the love”. I give you all a big hug xx

Saturday is Caption Day

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 3, 2011 in Bebe, Blogger Love, Saturday is Caption Day | 19 comments

 What does this photo say to you? Give me a great caption! I’m worth it, right??

Musings on a Hospital Stay

Posted by cafebebemama on Nov 30, 2011 in Bebe, Blogger Love, Motherhood, NaBloPoMo | 8 comments

Last week I spent 6 1/2 days in our local hospital in preparation for the delivery of our gorgeous Sam. Until last week, I had never spent any time in hospital other than for the labour/delivery of Ella 3 1/2 years ago. Thankfully, Peterborough City Hospital is only just one year old. The hospital itself is HUGE! I checked in to Maternity Inpatients where they look after pre-labour situations, inductions and post-delivery patients. When I was transported from delivery theatre and recovery back to Maternity Inpatients I ended up slightly car sick thanks to the length of the journey!

I do have to commend Peterborough City Hospital staff, however. My stay in hospital was as pleasant as it could have possibly been. The meals were decent with plenty of gluten-free options and rather yummy puds. The wards were quite large with free televisions (albeit only terrestrial channels) and I can’t fault the cleanliness. When a patient left, within minutes there were several members of the cleaning crew who stripped the bedding, cleaned thoroughly around the bay and left a clean and ready bed in their wake.

In my pre-delivery days, I didn’t cause much trouble for the midwives/staff. Because there wasn’t much wrong with me I was pretty much left on my own which had it’s pros and cons. However, if I needed anything I only had to press my buzzer and someone came very quickly. My stay in the old Peterborough District Hospital was no where near as pleasant, that’s for sure. NHS money has been very well spent in Peterborough City Hospital. I never want to spend any time there again, however, as it’s just not fun to stay in any hospital. Unless it’s The Portland Hospital. I have a feeling it’s pretty fun to stay there.

One of the BEST parts of my stay at hospital was that after leaving recovery, I was transferred back to the Maternity Inpatients ward to fulfill the rest of my stay. Single rooms are available at Peterborough City Hospital (at a cost of £80/day) and I was prepared to pay that to enjoy a bit of peace and quiet. I enquired about that and they informed me that as I had just come out of a planned/emergency c-section, they would want me closest to the midwife station which was not a single room. As I was wheeled into place I found that I was the only person in the 4 bay ward. Another patient was brought in mid-morning on Friday but due to her baby having jaundice, they transferred her and her baby to another ward. I remained the ONLY person in my 4 bed ward for the remainder of my stay! Simply brilliant. I didn’t have to worry about anyone else, feel self-conscious or worry about waking anyone. This was certainly unusual but effectively, I ended up with a “single room” for FREE! Not a bad arrangement.

As I had plenty of time to muse on my hospital stay, I found I learned several things about myself during my 6 1/2 days at Peterborough City Hospital:

• Daytime Telly SUCKS! Particularly daytime terrestrial telly. When you have Freeview channels to distract you can at least count on a bit of music or reality cheese but when your only choices are ITV’s Daybreak, Jeremy Kyle or The Hairy Bikers, television loses its ability to distract pretty quickly. I am pleased to report that I have totally caught up on Neighbours and Home & Away, however. Thank goodness.
• Hospital beds, despite being able to raise and lower, are pretty uncomfortable and the pillows are not terribly sleep-inducing. If you’re spending any length of time in hospital, bring your own pillow. I only thought of this with one day to remain at hospital which was hardly worth it.
• Bring your phone charger! Your mobile will become your lifeline, particularly if you don’t get a lot of visitors. I know some hospitals restrict or even prohibit mobile usage, but if you are permitted, be sure to bring your charger, check your data plan and update any apps and/or music you might find useful and distracting.
• I have been reminded that I am a HORRIBLE beaky-boo! The patient who was in the bay next to me was struggling with gestational diabetes, was not eating and was refusing to take her medication at 34 weeks pregnant. No one came to visit her AT ALL. Any time a midwife and/or social services worker came to visit her to discuss her situation I would become Queen of the Beaky Boos, turn down the volume on my telly and eavesdrop on the conversation. It was far better distraction than the telly, that’s for sure. Wonder if she’s still there??
• I really need to learn how to SHOUT when I am upset, frustrated or fed up. I was so very lonely during my stay with very few visitors which was understandable considering people were working. I felt like I was an after-thought a lot of the time on the ward before we had Sam. I was so quiet and undemanding that I think I was forgotten most of the time. If you want answers to questions, you have to shout. Hospital staff are run off their feet. They don’t have time for much of anything so obviously their priority are the patients who need more attention. If you want to be heard, you have to learn how to SHOUT.

I will be writing up our Birth Story very soon where I will share more about my exceptionally positive and entirely different c-section experience compared to Ella’s. But I wanted to give credit where credit is due. Peterborough City Hospital was a wonderful place in which to be cared for even though I didn’t want to be there. They took good care of me and brought Sam safely into the world. On behalf of myself, my husband and my daughter and son, I would like to thank the staff at Peterborough City Hospital and the NHS.