The Week According to Sam- Week Three

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 19, 2011 in Bebe, Motherhood, Week According to Sam | 6 comments

Week three finds us settling into a teeny bit of a routine with much more regular feeding of about 3-4 hours and slightly larger feeds thanks to a formula change. We have had several minor “poonami’s” which also tell us that Sam’s formula is working properly now. The boy is starting to stay awake a bit longer at a stretch now which means that we are getting to see more expressions on his lovely face and have even witnessed a smile or two!

Grandma (my Mom) arrived on Wednesday from America. We all journeyed down to Heathrow to collect Grandma and had a very successful trip in the car with long sleeps both ways. Thank goodness! It’s been lovely having Sam be held by his Grandma and I know she appreciates the opportunity to get to know her grandson. Also arriving this week, Mark’s twin sister Julie and her 3 children from Australia. We’re thrilled to have them with us this Christmas as it will be a year or more until we see them all again. Family….ahhhhh!

Thanks to remaining relatively house-bound, due to not driving, we have virtually NO Christmas shopping done and are living meal to meal. I’m going to try to remedy that today but am feeling rather uninspired by the festive season. Our tree is finally decorated, however, and there are assorted lights around the house which help to make the mood more jolly. This weekend will be Sam’s first Christmas! I need to get in the mood!

Here is the week according to Sam in pictures…enjoy!

Sisterly love…Ella still loves “My Baby” and has yet to act put out or tempermental about Sam’s presence, thank God!

Daddy, Ella and a VERY ANGRY Sam testing out the glider in what will be Sam’s room in a week or so! Yes, I know, we still have to finish Sam’s nursery…*head, desk*

Ooh, look! An illusive picture of Sam and Mummy! Wonder of wonders! I realised that 3 weeks have gone by without ONE picture of Sam and Mummy. I have to try harder to do better with this!

Sam’s favourite napping place. The addition of a Snooze Shade has allowed Sam to have a few slightly longer naps. One day we may actually sleep in our Moses Basket. Maybe when we’re 3 years old!

Baby FEET! Who doesn’t love Baby FEET! I could just eat them right up! We really need to get some newborn socks now…poor Sam, he has virtually none!

“Power to the People” or is it “Power to the Bebe”

And just look at that adorable chin!

Quality time with Grandma…awwww!

Another week down and more lessons learned. The biggest lesson learned is that Sam LOVES to be held. Particularly by Mummy. Particularly at night. All night. I’m struggling with this a bit as I know he needs to feel secure without me. I know I need to put him down more. I have shed many a tear over my conflict with this. Sam is my last baby. These are early days. Shouldn’t I cuddle him and snuggle him as much as we like? But then, I can’t do anything BUT. Sigh. This week I’ll be attempting to use the Moby sling I have been lent from Muddling Along Mummy. We’ll see how we get on and if I get my hands back. Any suggestions are more than welcome.

Flashback Friday- Last Christmas

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 16, 2011 in Blogger Love, Flashback Friday, Little Miss Adventures | 0 comments

I was reminded last night how important holiday traditions are to a toddler. Last night, at dinner at the inlaws, Ella began talking about Father Christmas and how we need to leave a carrot (we had carrots as one of the veg for dinner, naturally) for Father Christmas’ reindeer. There was a heated discussion amongst the adults about what beverage should be left for Father Christmas after that (Captain Morgan’s and Coke anyone?)

Then Ella started talking about how Father Christmas puts wrapping paper on the door. How does he do that she wondered? And I remembered, on advice from some Twitter/Blogging friends, that last year we used wrapping paper to close off the door to the lounge so that Ella would have to burst through it into the lounge to get her presents. At the time, last Christmas, Ella was terrified of the prospect of breaking through the paper and what might be on the other side but it obviously stuck with her as it’s all she could talk about last night. Now I know that we simply MUST repeat this tradition again this year no matter what.

In our house, this has obviously become a tradition. Generally, we have a relatively quiet present opening on Christmas morning with just our wee family and give Ella the presents from us (I mean, Father Christmas) and assorted family from America. Then we gradually get ourselves presentable and head over to the inlaws house where more present opening will happen later in the morning. My husband’s family also has a tradition of (to me) a rather unique Christmas morning breakfast. They ALWAYS eat crumbed ham, pork pie, chutney & pickled onions and lovely rustic white farmhouse bread. They throw in the odd fried egg as well and other bits and bobs to round out the breakfast. Unfortunately, due to my coeliac disease, I can’t eat most of this but it is their tradition. I might have to bring my own gluten-free tradition from now on.

What are your traditions on Christmas? Do you have any memories from Christmas Past to share? I’m really looking forward to this year’s Christmas as it will be Sam’s first and Mark’s sister Julie and her family will be with us for what will probably be the last Christmas in a while. Also, my Mom is here from America to share the holidays with us. So this Christmas will be a special one indeed.

I’m not including a Linky for the Flashback Friday today as I’ve been off for a few weeks (thanks to having a baby and all that jazz) and I think everyone’s forgotten about Flashback Friday. However, feel free to share your holiday/Christmas memories and link back if you like. Starting in the New Year I’ll be revitalising the Flashback Friday linky so get ready for that! In the meantime, Happy Holidays!

Cafe Bebe Resolutions

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 15, 2011 in Blogger Love, Blogging, BritMums Blogging Prompt | 4 comments

Tis the season to make resolutions, right? Well, I suppose so. I’m never overly keen on resolutions because I think, often, you are setting yourself up for failure from the get-go. For example: “I resolve to get fit this year!” and then by January 5th, when you look outside and see the wind blowing and rain pelting, you decide that fitness isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and end up weighing more by year end than when you began the year. Those are the resolutions I tend to specialise in.

Perhaps the key is lowering your expectations? Perhaps the key is TARGETED, SMART resolutions or goals? Perhaps the key is not being so hard on yourself? Maybe it’s down to setting only ONE goal for yourself for the first half of the year and seeing how you’re getting on by June or July? I’m not sure what the key is but I am going to try to set a few blogging related goals for myself as I’ve come to a bit of an epiphany in the last few weeks.

4 weeks ago I went into hospital with a slight bleed and was due to spend 2 weeks in hospital before Sam was scheduled to be delivered. Sam had other ideas, thank God! However, during my 4 days in hospital before Sam was delivered, Twitter and my blog were my lifeline. They kept me going, boosted my spirits, gave me hope and encouragement and showed me love. I suddenly had people following me that I never knew; wishing me well and tuning in for the “latest news”. Bizarrely, my blog stats went through the roof and the posts that I wrote in hospital were/are some of the most read that I have ever written. How lovely!

And then we came home from hospital. I continued to blog daily (part of NaBloPoMo for the month of November) but my stats started to dwindle a bit. I wondered if people were sick of seeing gooey blog posts and pics of Sam. I also spent considerably less time on the blog and on Twitter, reasonably so. I was enjoying my family, enjoying my son, resting, getting to know my couch very well and there just wasn’t time to tweet. Mind you, I do social media for a freelance job but Twitter just didn’t hold the same importance for me. That’s when I realised that as soon as you take your presence away from Twitter and social media, they are very quick to lose interest in you. I began to realise that perhaps it didn’t matter if my online presence was as strong if I wasn’t missed much anyway?

I’m not saying all of this in a “oh woe is me” sort of way, mind you. I’m saying this in a blogging epiphany sort of way. I adore my blog and the way it allows me to connect with others. Particularly friends and family who actually WANT to know what goes on in our day to day lives. This blog is a nearly-daily record of the last 2 1/2 years of our lives. That is precious and not to be dismissed. I will continue to blog and share and over-share and rant but what I will NOT do is LIVE for my blog. I’ll continue to use Twitter and enjoy the online relationships and friendships that I have built through Twitter but I will not spend my day thinking about what to Tweet next. If people aren’t interested, they can unfollow or unsubscribe. I can’t be worried about my stats and numbers and rankings any more. My Sam is too precious, my Ella is too special and my life is more important than numbers and tweets.

So, fair readers, for the year 2012, the Cafe Bebe Resolutions are as follows:

• Live for my family. Blog about what I like, when I like, how I like. If good things come of it, great. If not, no worries.
• Tweet when it works for us. Spend more time OFF Twitter living the life I am so grateful for.
• Make lists to follow on Twitter and don’t get bogged down in blogging blowouts.
• Enjoy blogging and all that comes with it. Don’t compare Cafe Bebe to anyone else and worry not about what others are up to or what their motivation is. To each their own…live and let live and all that jazz.
• Attend BritMums Live! in June

That’s it. I’ve been blogging for 2 1/2 years now and have loved (almost) every moment of it. I have benefited from blogging and enjoyed a lot of perks along the way. It’s time to step back, let the new blood in and enjoy the turning wheels of time. I sincerely hope that anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis enjoys what I have to share. I hope you’ll continue to pop by and have a peek into our lives and I will continue to freelance and maintain a social media presence in all freelance areas but it’s time to take a bit of a break, personally, and enjoy the precious life we’ve built in our corner of the East Midlands.

Thank you to everyone who has tuned in this year, given support and shared their thoughts through their comments. I look forward to the new year and seeing how much things change over the coming 12 months. In the meantime I’m going to enjoy my family and get a bit of perspective. I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I’ll still be blogging the rest of the year but I want to be sure to get my holiday wishes out to everyone.

Are you making any BLOGGING resolutions? Feel free to share them…

Giving co-sleeping a try

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 13, 2011 in Bebe, Motherhood | 15 comments

Sam is 2 1/2 weeks old and is a very chilled out, accomodating baby. He has fit right into our family and rolled with the punches. Granted, there haven’t been many punches as we’ve not been out of the house too much thanks to me and my house arrest but whatever we do, he rolls right with us.

One of the joys of having a newborn is taking advantage of those newborn cuddle opportunities. Sam simply adores being held. After a bottle he will now stay awake for a teeny bit and then, snuggled on my chest (or hubby’s) will happily doze for 2+ hours. I am able to transfer him, usually, to his pushchair for a bit of free time and he will often sleep there for 30-45 minutes which allows me to get a few things done. But ultimately, where Sam wants to be is with his Mummy or his Daddy. Take that Gina Ford!

I know that these moments will be few and far between in a short time so, as Sam will be our last child, I don’t want to miss out. Plus, due to my c-section recovery, taking advantage of holding Sam and catching cat-naps is just what the doctor ordered. Now, thanks to this routine, Sam just is not overly keen on sleeping on his own, particularly at night. We’ve had the Moses basket in our room (and the Xplory seat on the Moses basket frame) but it’s a bit too OPEN a space for Sam. He settles momentarily and then whammo, is awake and wanting to be held. This means that Mummy gets maybe 20 minutes of sleep at a time. This makes Mummy unhappy, grouchy and unneccessarily emotional. This is not good for the family.

So, we are giving co-sleeping a try! I never thought I would be sharing a bed with my baby (yes, I know all of the risks and dangers and rest assured, we are taking all precautions) but what ends up happening when Sam sleeps with us (well, really, with me) is that Sam sleeps. This means that Mummy sleeps. This is a very good thing indeed. Sam sleeps right next to me, cuddled right into me and is out. We usually get a 3 hour sleep for the first part of the night, wake for a bottle and then often get a 4-5 hour sleep for the 2nd part of the night. 7:30am is now our usual waking time. This is a very good thing. For everyone.

Many people might not understand co-sleeping. I considered it something that only “Earth Mothers” would do and I most definitely am not an Earth Mother. But, we are following a Sam-Centered approach and this is what works for Sam. It’s quite different to what worked for Ella. Ella settled pretty well into her Moses Basket, stayed there for the first 4 weeks and then transitioned to her cot. We occasionally brought her into bed with us (and still do) but did not co-sleep. My intention is not necessarily to be co-sleeping for months or years but to gradually transition Sam to his cot/crib for daytime naps (when we actually get it set up!) and then to reclaim our bed. I love having Sam near me. It works for both of us. We aren’t breastfeeding so some might think that it’s pointless but I find that Sam’s sleep is much better when we sleep together. That makes me happy and it makes Sam happy. Happy baby = Happy Mummy = Happy Family. Sorted.

What do you think to co-sleeping? Do you do it? Would you do it? What have you done differently from first to second child? I’d love to hear your stories.

The Week According to Sam- Week Two

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 12, 2011 in Bebe, Blogger Love, Motherhood, Week According to Sam | 4 comments

It’s hard to believe that ONLY two weeks have gone by. Already I can’t imagine our lives without Sam and my stay prior to his delivery on 24 November seems about 8 billion years ago. But no, in fact, it was only 18 days ago. This is probably why I seem to think I can do everything I used to do and why my body is doing it’s best to tell me otherwise. Poo.

Sam has settled right into our family perfectly. He is a very chilled baby for the most part, unless it’s time for a bottle. Then he shouts for England. Oh, he does do the same when he gets his nappy changed as well. Crikey! Honestly, the boy gets FURIOUS with me! Sam is still doing a LOT of sleeping and mostly on me as I am well and truly spoiling him with loads and loads of Mummy cuddle time. Take that Gina Ford! Of course, as a result, I get very little sleep myself but hey ho, I wasn’t going to win Yummy Mummy of the Year this year anyway. Maybe next year?

We changed Sam’s formula this week as he still wasn’t pooing properly. We had a minor “poonami” on Friday and it appears that we are getting to what normal newborn poo should be like (you wanted to know that right?). I am still waiting for the “up the back and hose ‘em down” sort of poo-splosion so I’ll have to keep you posted on that one. As Daddy went back to work this week, we’ve been forced to stay at home most of the week. I’m going a bit stir-crazy but the holidays are soon here and family are arriving this week which will help. We had a lovely family outing on Sunday to get our Christmas Tree. Even though Sam had no clue whatsoever, it was very special to have the four of us out there picking the perfect tree.

The following are pictures from the week according to Sam from the 2nd week of his life. You’ll notice a similar theme in most of the pictures…eyes closed and blissfully asleep. I can assure you that Sam does indeed open his eyes from time to time and they are, in fact, blue.

Mummy, Ella and Sam from our favourite place…the couch!

Sam’s favourite place to sleep (after Mummy’s chest)…his Xplory pushchair!

Ella’s got a “dummy buddy” now. Green means go, Red means STOP!

Artsy-fartsy photo of Mummy’s hand holding Sam’s. Aw….

Sam is exceptionally good at frowning and has his Mummy’s (and Ella’s) pout. Big time!

I don’t care what anyone says, Sam was well & truly smiling…it was not gas! Mind you, he is sleeping…

It’s been a long, hard week for Daddy and his boy. Time for Daddy cuddles…

There we have the week according to Sam. This week there will be Christmas decorations, outings with our best mates @MummyMatters & Beanie Boy, arrivals from Grandma Kathy and Auntie Julie and loads more fun. And of course, plenty of Mummy cuddles. Happy Holidays everyone…thanks for indulging my adoration for the Cafe Bebe offspring…

House Arrest or An Opportunity?

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 9, 2011 in Motherhood | 6 comments

I’m two weeks in to my stint of 6 weeks of rest. Or is it house arrest? I have had a c-section which is considered major abdominal surgery. Trust me, it is most definitely major abdominal surgery. Any surgery that involves taking internal organs out, moving them about, rummaging around and pushing and prodding to make sure everything is put back in the right place is most definitely major abdominal surgery.

This major abdominal surgery was a medical necessity to ensure that my son, Sam, arrived safely and that I would be able to be around to be his mother. For this, I am eternally grateful. But I am stubborn. I tried to pretend that I could “take it easy” but still do what I usually do in addition to being a mother to Ella and new mother to Sam. That may or may not have involved mopping the kitchen floor on my hands and knees the other day, setting goals for myself, taking out the laundry, making the bed, loading the dishwasher and tending to Sam and Ella’s needs.

On Tuesday, Mark went back to work and I had everything all sorted. Ella was dressed, fed and ready for school. Sam was dressed, fed and ready for the school run. I was bathed, dressed and ready for the school run. But the school run (all of 5 minutes from our house to school) was a cold and blustery one. I may have walked a bit too fast because of the cold. When I managed to sit down to feed Sam and relax for a bit, I began to feel really rough. I was FREEZING, exhausted and totally devoid of any energy whatsoever. The most I could muster was enough to go to the toilet, get Sam’s bottles and tend to his needs (happily I might add). Sam slept on me the majority of the day and I dozed off and on between rubbish daytime telly. I had over-done it!

I suffered through Wednesday with the same lack of energy and realised that, like it or not, I need to slow down. I need to stop thinking I can do everything and take advantage of my house arrest to recover. I need to spend time with my son, enjoy moments with Ella and just get through the day. I don’t like NOT doing. It’s very hard for me. But I have experienced the effects of doing too much and I like that even less. It’s hard to know just what I can and can’t do and how my body will respond but that’s part of recovery. Living and learning.

What I’m wondering is, instead of looking at this as house arrest (I can’t drive for 6 weeks and have very few people who visit), should I look at this as an opportunity? I could do some holiday baking (can be done from a sitting position at the kitchen table), write our Christmas cards, create some crafty projects for Ella and I to do. I have managed to sort out the online grocery shopping and should really start Christmas shopping online too (is it too late??). But what else? Who’s got some things for me to do? I need inspiration, links, ideas, clues, tips and tricks. Hit me with it. Share your links and help me fill the remaining four weeks of house arrest. I’ll try to document our attempts at your suggestions and let you know how we get on (and of course give you link credit).

Ready, steady…INSPIRE ME!

How would my life have been different?

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 8, 2011 in Blogging, Motherhood | 2 comments

I am not one to join in on “memes” very often in the blogging world. But, when one resounds with me, particularly in support of a good cause, I am more than happy to participate. I was tagged invited by Seasider in the City to tackle the question: “How would my life have been different?”.

Here’s the jist of what Seasider is talking about:

Your birth certificate. Just a piece of paper?

Not really, think of all the things you wouldn’t have been able to achieve in your life without it. You couldn’t get a passport, or driving licence, your parents wouldn’t have been able to claim family allowance, you couldn’t have gone to school, college, university. How would that affect your life now?

Millions of girls across the world have never had their births registered.

Because of this they are often denied access to education, they cannot prove their age and so are forced into childhood marriage. Their whole future is altered – the impact of a piece of paper.

The Plan have created an app that highlights the impact of this using your own details on Facebook. it’s a moving piece that highlights how your life could have been different – at age 14 I was dreaming of those who were plastered across my bedroom wall, in another culture I could have been preparing for my wedding to a stranger.

Please visit this site to see how your life would have panned out…

So, obviously, thinking about how my life would have been different if I didn’t have a birth certificate…quite simply, I wouldn’t be here in the UK, I wouldn’t be a wife to an amazing man and I wouldn’t be a mother to two absolutely gorgeous children. I wouldn’t have an education, I wouldn’t have been able to learn to drive, I wouldn’t have been able to leave the United States. In fact, I don’t know what I would have been able to do. I probably could not have done much of anything really, including having a job, social security, insurance, the power to vote, the ability to buy a car or rent an apartment or go to University.

My children, with their birth certificates, have been able to become (will become in Sam’s case) dual-citizens of both the United States and the United Kingdom, thus enabling them to, one day in the future, choose where they would like to live, work and love. In fact, in 2 weeks, we’re registering Sam’s birth in Peterborough which will give us his coveted birth certificate so we can start the process of getting his UK and US passports. What amazing opportunities a birth certificate creates!

Thank you to Seasider in the City for including me in this important campaign. I’m not one to “invite” others so if you would like to include yourself in the “Plan Your Story” campaign, feel free to join in and link back to Seasider in the City and/or myself. How would YOUR life have been different if you had never had a birth certificate?