Comments Closed?

Posted by cafebebemama on Jan 18, 2012 in Blogging | 11 comments

Lately I have been conflicted. I don’t have enough time. I have a teeny bit of an excuse and his name is Sam. He’s the best reason to not have time. I don’t have time for myself much less the Blogosphere. But, as I blogged about last week, I still love writing. I enjoy taking some snippets of time here and there to share what’s rolling around in my brain.

What I don’t have time for is reading, commenting and replying to comments on my blog, I’m sorry to say. My freelance social media work allows me to visit various blogs and spend time on social media channels but I just don’t have the time to devote to both Cafe Bebe and freelance clients. What I don’t want to do is continue to keep comments open and not be able to reply to those comments which is just rude. I love it when readers take the time to comment and share their thoughts and/or experiences. I don’t want to offend those who do comment by not acknowledging their efforts. There just is not enough time in my day, at the moment for me to do everything.

Some people have suggested that I just take a blogging break and I may still do that. However, I truly love blogging and writing. I think what I need to do is take some of the pressure off, allow people to just read and enjoy and see what comes of it. I would love it if people Re-Tweeted my links if they enjoyed the post or share their comment on Twitter and/or Facebook. I would happily accept direct comments through my contact system if people are so moved. Maybe my readers will enjoy my posts more if they don’t feel the pressure to comment? I know I will relax a bit about my posts if I’m not constantly checking to see if someone has commented. I always feel a bit sorry for the posts that get no comments anyway! What makes my post so unworthy of commenting? This is what I fret over!

Starting 1 February, 2012 and for the month of February I will be closing comments on all posts. It will be a bit of an experiment. Can I retain engagement and an audience without the need for comment? Will people still visit and engage with me? Will my stats drop or go up? Will I feel less pressure to write and thus end up writing better and more free? Who knows? I’m going to give it a go and see what the result is on 29 February, 2012. I shall report back on the results.

I’m giving you 2 more weeks to comment on posts…hit me with your best shot. Would you close comments temporarily or are you too worried about what might happen to your blog as a result? Talk to me…for 14 more days!

**I was inspired by a VERY cool blogger, HerMelness, who has closed comments on her blog. If only I could be half as brilliant!**

The Week According to Sam- Week Seven

Posted by cafebebemama on Jan 17, 2012 in Motherhood, Week According to Sam | 3 comments

The Cafe Bebe family started off with a BIG ADVENTURE on Monday 9 January with our first trip as a family of four to London. I was presenting at a PR Training at 11am in Soho so at 10:15 when we were still in North London, it became crystal clear that I was not going to make it if I didn’t hop out at the nearest tube stop and scuttle into London on my own and meet up with Mark and the kids later. Out I ran, at Hendon Central, and managed to make it into Soho by just before 11am. Mark was left with Ella and Sam and as I exited the car, Sam must have sensed something as he chose that moment to start shrieking. He did that for the remainder of the 45 minute drive into London. I believe Mark lost his mind somewhere around Abbey Road.

Bless him, he coped though. I was really proud of Mark’s skills as he managed to get all three of them to Oxford Street about 3 hours later and we reunited and I gave Sam a right proper cuddle. We enjoyed a leisurely break in Debenham’s cafe where Sam was put to rights and then we hoofed it up to Regent’s Park so Ella could have a little play before we returned to our car park to head home. It was a great adventure which tested us more than we would have liked but we all survived. I’m looking forward to my first adventure into London with just Sam! Anyone want to meet us?

The rest of the week was pretty tame and wound up with a visit to our local surgery to the Health Visitor for Sam’s 6 week check (even though he was 7 weeks). I was less than impressed with the Health Visitor but Sam appears to be fine for the time being. The only thing that worried me was his weight. He’s put on a good deal of weight since his last weigh-in on 13 December. He weighed 8lbs 2oz on the 13 of December and on the 13 of January he weighed 9lbs 11oz. However, on the “centile” charts, he’s dropped well below the “50th centile” where he had been on the 13th December. Of course, I know these charts are just estimates and based on what others weighed in comparison but you never want to hear that your child isn’t “measuring up”. We’ve increased Sam’s feeds as he was draining his bottles and I know I shouldn’t worry because he’s growing and happy and healthy. But still…I do.

We had a bit of a sad weekend as we had to bid farewell to Mark’s twin sister, Julie, and her family on Sunday. They head back down to Australia and the hard part about that is that we don’t know when we’ll see them again. Julie’s daughter is 17 now and she’ll be finishing her final year in secondary school which means they won’t be able to come back during the summer and may not be able to come back for Christmas next year. There’s no way we can afford 3 1/2 fares to Australia unless we win the lottery so we’ll have to settle for Skype in the meantime. I feel badly that Ella and Sam will miss out on knowing their cousins and being loved and spoiled by their Auntie Julie but one day maybe…

Here’s the week according to Sam- week seven, in pictures:

Sam’s in there! I promise! I was wearing Sam in the Baby Bjorn carrier which meant that Ella could claim back her Xplory for a ride. London’s hard work for a 3 1/2 year old! We were enjoying a play break at Regent’s Park…what a great day!

Co-sleeping is a rather wonderful thing, you know?

We spent some quality time in the old Moses Basket this week. Here Sam’s getting to know the toy bar over the Moses Basket and spending a bit of time on his own. Such a big boy!

And he even managed to drift off for a few minutes in the darn Moses Basket! A miracle!

I’m also attempting to get Sam to snuggle up with various items. Here we have Penguin. I even “wore” Penguin for 1/2 a day to impart my “smell” onto it with the thought that Sam would attach to it then. Fat chance!

Multi-tasking Daddy…carrying Sam along with the laundry. You’ve gotta love Daddy’s creativeness!

We’ll miss you Auntie Julie! Thank you for such lovely cuddles, making me smile and giving me something to stare at (your lovely hair). Come back soon!

Guess what we managed to get put together this weekend?? After 7 weeks of Sam’s life, his cot is FINALLY assembled! We are now transitioning to Sam’s “big boy” bed. Wish us luck with that one!

Flashback Friday- 7 weeks

Posted by cafebebemama on Jan 13, 2012 in Flashback Friday, Motherhood | 0 comments

Sam is 7 weeks old now! Nearly TWO MONTHS OLD! Crikey, where does the time go? As one probably shouldn’t, I’ve decided to compare Sam at 7 weeks to Ella around 7-8 weeks as well to see what similarities and differences we have. Ready?

We purchased this bouncy seat from Kiddicare for £9.99 in 2008 in preparation for Ella. We didn’t want anything with ridiculous bells and whistles. Hubby picked this one and while I thought it was lacking in beauty a bit, it was most certainly functional. Ella loved it and spent a fair bit of time in it. We saved it from the bin with Sam’s arrival and Mark dutifully assembled it to see how Sam liked it. At the moment he’s tolerating it for about 15-20 minutes before shouting. He prefers sitting in it in the kitchen so he can look out the big picture window. Isn’t it great when you can put something to use again?

I love the expression on my face in the picture on the left with Ella…NOT. We spent an exceptionally windy and unseasonably cold (it was July) day at the seaside in Hunstanton with Mark’s family. I was worried about Ella as I hadn’t dressed her appropriately and the sand was swirling around something fierce. I bundled her into the Baby Bjorn carrier and wrapped her up in someone’s jacket.

I believe I look considerably happier and more than a bit different in the picture with Ella and Sam on the right. This photo was taken on Monday on our maiden voyage to London as a family of four. We stopped at Regent’s Park on the walk back to the car park so that Ella could burn off a bit of energy. Funnily enough, the weather was quite similar to that Summer day back in 2008! You’ve got to love England!

Ella never had issues with the Moses Basket. She went into it straight away when we arrived home and slept quite well in it. It was right next to my side of the bed and we did occasionally bring her in bed with us but she was pretty confident in it from the get-go. Unfortunately, Ella was never a brilliant day-time nap taker so she didn’t spend much day time in the Moses Basket.

Sam, from the beginning, has not enjoyed his Moses Basket. We are now in Operation Don’t Be Afraid of the Moses Basket. I’ve brought it downstairs so he can spend time in it next to me while I work on the laptop. It seems to be alright for set periods of time. He’ll dose off for 15-20 minutes and happily wriggle around for a while longer. Not too bad for a boy who’s been pretty much attached to Mummy from the time he came out of me!

There’s my Flashback Friday for today! Looking back to Ella’s early days in comparison to Sam’s current days. There are a few similarities between them but quite a few differences as well. It is lovely to look back however…happy memories all around. That’s what Flashback Friday is all about! Feel free to do the same on your blog…take a trip back in time, share a memory and a smile. Have a great weekend!

Why do I blog?

Posted by cafebebemama on Jan 12, 2012 in Blogging, Motherhood | 10 comments

On Monday I had the pleasure of presenting to a group of PR’s. Why would they possibly want me to present to them? What could I possibly say to them of value? Well, it appears, due to my longevity in the British Parent Blogging community, I have some “expertise” to share. Go figure! And apparently I can talk the hind leg off a donkey. But I knew that…I digress.

One of the questions posed to me was “Why do you blog?” which is a question that all of us should revisit throughout our blogging “career”. As it’s January and I’ve spent most of the beginning of the year blogging about Sam and co-sleeping, I thought I would give everyone a break by blogging about blogging. How ridiculously self-indulgent, eh?

Quite simply, the main reason that I blog is because I MUST. Blogging has become “second nature” to me and is a part of my daily routine. Much like brushing my teeth, getting dressed, slaving away tidying the house (ha, bloody ha!), I simply MUST blog or the day feels a bit funny. Sure, I don’t blog every single day otherwise I would irritate the bejesus out of the handful of followers that tune in. However, on the days that I don’t blog, I feel like I’ve forgotten something. My closed, silent laptop looks at me and whispers “Come heeeerrrreeee my pretty”. Is it just me who hears it? I feel like I haven’t had the opportunity to unload if I don’t blog.

My blog has evolved over the last 2 1/2 years. What started with a 10 month old little girl for inspiration evolved into a review site and a blogging platform. I’ve come a bit full-circle now with a seven week old baby and a 3 1/2 year old princess who give me my material. My blog has also become more about me; my challenges with living gluten-free; my rants and raves; my NHS issues and my memories. My blog is my haven.

Blogging is also a community for me. I felt so much inclusion in the last year but am at a bit of an impass. As you reach a certain level and/or longevity of blogging, you stop playing childish games and look at the blogosphere with slightly different eyes. In the seven weeks since Sam joined our life, because my presence has been missing, for the most part, from the blogging community and Twitter, my stats have dropped dramatically and my interaction in social media has changed. It’s made me a bit cynical, to be honest. I’d like to think I’m just as interesting and entertaining NOW as before Sam was here but apparently I am wrong. It’s an interesting test actually. Try it yourself: take yourself off your usual publishing rota, lessen your presence on Twitter and see if it happens to you. It makes me a little bit sad, to tell you the truth. A bit like a circle of friends have just moved on and left me behind because I couldn’t keep up.

I was also asked, during my groundbreaking presentation, what I call myself. No not Karin. Am I a “mummy blogger”? I proudly said, “Yes, I consider myself a Mummy Blogger. I’m a Mummy. I blog. I blog about being a Mummy. I blog about my children and our adventures in parenting. Hence, I believe that makes me a Mummy blogger.” The whole LABELING of bloggers is what I don’t really understand, to be honest. Why is it such a big deal? I’m a Mummy blogger. I belong to BritMums which is a parent blogging social network. But just because I am a Mummy blogger doesn’t mean that I can’t write about anything else, does it? I hope not! Because I am breaking a rule then! Can’t a social network with a central purpose have other factions? Of course it can. That’s what makes life interesting.

Recently I’ve been questioning why I blog. I’ve seen my “presence” change in the blogosphere and have wondered if I’d be missed. I’ve witness childish behaviour and been disappointed in people. Ultimately I gravitate back to the real motivation behind Cafe Bebe. I blog because I MUST; it’s a part of me; a part of who I am; a part of what I do; part of what keeps me sane and helps me to cope. I love that my family know what we do on a daily basis. I love that I have a record of my children’s experiences. I am proud of the posts I’ve written- even the ones which have put me in hot water. What I’d love to see is for everyone to put egos aside, blog for the right reasons (whatever they may be) and stop criticising others along the way. I’ll keep on keeping on but I really hope that the rest of the blogging world, whether parent blogging focused or otherwise, just grows up.

Thoughts?

Conflicted over Co-Sleeping

Posted by cafebebemama on Jan 11, 2012 in Bebe, Motherhood | 9 comments

I have a very snuggly baby boy. He adores being held and I indulge that pretty much all of the time. I wrote a post a few weeks ago called Giving Co-Sleeping a Try. Sam has taken to co-sleeping like a duck to water. We lay down on our sides, facing each other and he snuggles right into me and sleeps SOLID for up to 4-5 hours! I sleep as well! I’ve never been a good sleeper…I sleep very lightly so everything wakes me up. But, fortunately, with Sam next to me, I do manage to sleep and feel rested when woken up for a 3am feed or 7am feed. Co-sleeping definitely has its benefits!

My challenge, however, is that Sam needs holding pretty much all of the time. He’s become more attached to me (physically) than ever and while I adore it and don’t believe in the “Gina Ford” method, it does make getting things done tricky. We now have a Baby Bjorn carrier which really suits us both. The last two mornings I have worn it to take Ella to school and then Sam and I have gone for our morning walk around the village. He falls asleep and when we get home, I have continued to “wear” Sam in the carrier for an hour or more while he sleeps. I’ve been able to eat breakfast, type posts, reply to emails and even tidy the kitchen while “wearing” Sam.

What I am worried about is that Sam is becoming unable to soothe himself without being near/on me. I want to be able to put him down and let him “play” without having to hold him or hover over him all of the time. Don’t get me wrong, however. I am not wanting to “get rid” of Sam, I am just wanting him to be confident without me. I know I may be asking a lot of a 6 week old so I need some “expert” opinion on whether I am expecting too much.

What I would like to accomplish is to get Sam used to being put down in his Moses Basket and spending some time, during the day, for naps. He’s never been particularly keen on his Moses Basket so we may have an uphill battle here. I know all of the tips for success:

• Hot water bottle in the Moses Basket to warm it before putting him down
• A shirt or cloth that I have worn, with my “scent” to comfort him
• Swaddling
• Fully darkened room
• Put him down somewhat awake so he can learn to go to sleep himself

Can anyone recommend anything else? Something you’ve tried that worked? I know I probably have to toughen up and just bite the bullet. What I don’t want is for ME to be the only person who can soothe Sam. While I am his primary, pretty much exclusive caregiver at the moment, he should be able to go to his Daddy or Nanny without putting up too much of a fuss. I should be able to go to the bathroom without wearing Sam. Or sit at the laptop without rocking! Again, am I expecting too much of a 6 week old? It’s been so long since Ella was at this stage! I’ve forgotten.

I have adored co-sleeping. Sam sleeps so well and it’s really lovely actually. But, I would like to be able to go to bed when I want to go to bed. I would like to claim my bed back for Mark and myself. I appreciate our good sleep pattern that we have developed and I know that when Sam is on his own in his nursery (Moses Basket or Crib), I will be getting up and have much more broken sleep. But I feel conflicted over co-sleeping right now. Even though it’s working well for us, I still have these concerns.

Thoughts? Opinions? Commiserations? Tell me off?

The Week According to Sam- Week Six

Posted by cafebebemama on Jan 9, 2012 in Motherhood, Week According to Sam | 1 comment

Six weeks ago I was sitting in hospital, feeling sorry for myself, Tweeting the hours away, waiting for our bebe to make an appearance. Six weeks later I am finally feeling like the “old me”, no longer feeling sorry for myself, spending less time on Twitter than ever and fully enjoying our bebe, Sam, who makes our days brighter. While talking with my mother-in-law over lunch on the weekend, I reminded her that Sam was now six weeks old. She said, “No! Six weeks already?!” I remarked that six week seemed like AGES ago but at the same time, can’t remember our lives without Sam. He’s fit in so well and brought so much to our days that I truly can’t imagine what it was like without him.

This week marked a major milestone for me. Mark went back to work PROPERLY on Tuesday and Ella resumed preschool on Wednesday. This is the way our weeks will be from now on. Tuesday I wasn’t sure if I could do it and wondered repeatedly how others manage to do it. By Wednesday, after surviving Tuesday with moderate success, I felt considerably better about what lay ahead. I know that we will have “days” which will challenge and upset me but I also know that I am more than capable of surviving them which is a major step forward for me.

In addition to getting a bit of a routine going, Sam and I started our walking again. It’s been six weeks now so it’s time for Mummy to get properly moving. With Sam secure in his Xplory, we’ve managed walks around the village on Wednesday and Thursday after school drop-off and before school pick-up and ventured into town on Friday for a bit of retail therapy as well. On Saturday, with our new Baby Bjorn Miracle Organic Carrier attached to me, we enjoyed 3 hours of sleep and out and about time with Sam in Stamford. I’m really excited about the carrier as I really feel it suits me well. We even picked up a weather cover so that Sam can be ultra snuggly while Mummy hoofs it around the village. Next week, slightly longer walks and the beginning of the MuTu System!

Sam has been fantastic this week. I’m still trying to get him to sleep more on his own without much success. We still do not have his nursery sorted but when that happens, my intention is to get him transitioning to his crib. Wish me luck…I’m such a softie and he’s such a snuggle bug that I don’t know how well we’ll do. I’ll report back next week…I’m not very optimistic though!

The following is the week according to Sam- week six…in pictures. Enjoy!

The last day of Daddy’s holiday! We bundled up, walked around the village and ended up at the park to have Big Sister show off her talents. Unfortunately, thanks to the freezing conditions, Sam had to stay secure in the Xplory. I assure you…he’s in there!

Sam in his bouncy seat, enjoying a bit of a break from Mummy (or is it the other way around?). Sam enjoys watching Mummy cook in the kitchen while staring out the window. As you do…

Another example of Sam’s smiling ability! Slightly wonky but ever so cute. Note the dimple as well…

I couldn’t resist taking this photo! Sam had truly buried his face in my chest. God knows how they breathe!

Time for that retail therapy in Peterborough with our friends and Big Sis, Ella, as well. Mind you, the footmuff and the hood prevent Sam from seeing much. Still…he was there!

Sam well and truly loves his Baby Bjorn Miracle Organic carrier! As does Mummy!

Just chillin’ with my Daddy like all the cool bebes do!

Sam wishes you all a pootastic week!

Parenting Olympics

Posted by cafebebemama on Jan 5, 2012 in Bebe, Little Miss Adventures, Motherhood | 5 comments

I have discovered, by becoming a mum to two, that I have some real talent! I’ve learned some valuable lessons in parenting which give me hope should there be any additional sports introduced for future Olympics. I may be too late for London 2012 but you never know! Perhaps we should just kick off the Parenting Olympics 2012? Could you make the team?

New Sport: Sleep Deprivation-talathon- I will be a formidable competitor in the Sleep Deprivation-tathalon. Competitors are allowed sleep but only in 90 minute bursts. Sleep during those 90 minutes is bombarded with sounds, lights and general panic (“Is my child still moving?”). Competitors participate in 5 events following each 90 minute burst of disturbed sleep:

1st event- Nightmare Soothing-Rushing 20 feet into a darkened bedroom with a formerly sleeping child who is now screaming. The competitor who can successfully negotiate toys, clothes and small furniture obstacles to soothe their child the fastest wins!

2nd event- Bottle Dash- Racing down a flight of stairs to a darkened kitchen to boil a kettle and prepare a formula bottle to a specific temperature and following non-existent NHS guidelines for safe bottle preparation while a screaming baby shouts through the baby monitor. Extra points if this event can be completed with a baby in one arm.

3rd event- School Run- Each competitor will be allocated at least 2 children with a minimum of 2 years age difference between them. For additonal points a 3rd child can be added or 1 of the 2 children can be a newborn. Competitors will have 45 minutes to get all children fed, dressed in coordinating, matching clothing, comb hair, pack school bags and prevents tears at all costs. Competitor must also get herself bathed, dressed and made-up for the school run. The first family out of the door wins!

4th event- Poopy Nappy Race- Competitors will be faced with a fully filled, fully poonami-sized nappy which is beginning to leave the confines of the nappy on a fully dressed, fully screaming newborn. Competitors must remove the offending nappy, fully clear the nappy area to a high standard, remove leaked-upon clothes, place a new nappy on the child and re-clothe with a new outfit in the fastest amount of time. Additional points with a male baby when competitors avoid being weed upon!

5th event- Mummy-nastics- This particularly challenging event involves getting 2 children, aged 3 and 6 weeks ready to get in the car. A changing bag must be fully stocked as well as bottles/food/snacks packed for every eventuality. Children must be clothed for the weather of the moment, installed in car seats safely, securely and per national guidelines, the car packed, boot stocked with the appropriate pushchair and NO TEARS from either child or mother…all accomplished in 20 minutes or less. Bonus points for the fewest dashes from house to car and remembering to shut off all lights and lock the door.

I am sure to be picked for Team GB! What about you? Oh, wait! Damn! I’m not a Citizen! I’ll have to try to make Team USA! Boo!

In addition to my talents for the Parening Olympics team, I have been able to manage the following ONE HANDED: make a cup of tea, prepare a bottle, mix(from scratch) and throw gluten-free french bread in the oven, chop potatoes, type out emails, eat, wee, tidy the house and hoover. Will my abilities never cease?

What Parenting Olympic sport would you excel at?