The Great British Blog Festival

The Great British Blog Festival- Friday Finale

Posted by cafebebemama on Jun 11, 2010 in Blogger Love, Guest Bloggers, The Great British Blog Festival | 2 comments

And now…the end is near…and so I face the final curtain…Oh what a week we’ve had at Cafe Bebe!  Honouring the brilliance of parent bloggers far and near.  I hope you’ve been able to check on the other delightful hosts of The Great British Blog Festival…Littlemummy, Littlemumpreneur, English Mum and Me, The Man and The Baby.

So today I bring you a beautiful blogger who is going to share some of herself and how important blogging has been for her.  But first, a little bit about her…

IN A BUN DANCE is written by Ellen who declares herself as “journalist, writer, blogger, mother, wife and occasionally whole person. I started blogging about three and a bit years ago and have run hot and cold with it since then. Lately though, I’ve found my blogging mojo so I thought I’d write about how my blog helped me find the way out of PND. I suppose you could call it blog therapy.”

By Ellen Arnison

ellenarnison@hotmail.com

http://bundance.blogspot.com/

How I learned to blog away my PND

When my newborn baby was tucked under my chin – the way they are when you’re being stitched after a section – it should have been the happy-ever-after moment. Looking back, though, it was clear that things were not quite right.

I remember looking at his puffed-up, shut little eyes and thinking: “Just get him off me, I’m done. And don’t those wrinkles on his face look weird?”

I was happy that he was there, and alive, but I certainly didn’t get the hormone-fuelled rush of stomach-flipping love I got for my other two.

Then I spent the next week fretting that he actually had Down’s Syndrome or worse but no one had the heart to tell me – I was 42 after all.

It had been a tense and uncomfortable pregnancy that had read like a list of things not do do when you’re expecting. Don’t be pregnant three months after an 19-week miscarriage, don’t have a blood clotting disorder that requires daily injections, don’t have a resolutely transverse baby who keeps nutting you in the ribs, don’t have placenta previa that makes you too twitchy to go anywhere alone, don’t have irritable uterus that causes contractions every time you stand up, don’t have an uncomfortably unstable pelvis, don’t get an extension built while you’re pregnant and don’t be a freelance journalist during a recession.

On the way into the hospital the sun shone as I waddled and I remember thinking “if this is my last day, it’s a good one”… not perhaps the clucky maternal musing of most mums to be.

But it wasn’t my last day and 10 days later, the health visitor slipped her glasses down her nose and said: “He’s not gaining any weight, in fact, he’s losing it. You need to make him eat more or we’ll take him into hospital.”

It transpired he was too big and hungry to be bothered with either new-born size teats or an easy-to-digest-but-less-filling brand of milk. But after two kids I should have known, shouldn’t I?

But gradually he got chubbier, less wrinkled and I got more of the hang of it. I didn’t like the colic though – all that screaming, at me, in my ear, while the other children mooched and grumbled around the house neglected.

Then, miraculously, it seemed to lift like a hangover… for a day or two. I realise that this is starting to read like an especially lurid kind of airport novel, but, next, my brother died – unexpectedly at 38. This time the fog was a little more dense, the kind that stings when you breathe.

The same health visitor pushed her glasses down her nose and referred me to the GP sharpish. I got all the jolly good help that fine institution the NHS can give.

And then I started to write. First I won a place in the final of a columnists’ competition http://news.stv.tv/write-factor/ . I didn’t win but it did restore my scribbling mojo and got me lots of work.

And secondly, I grabbed my blog with both hands. I had fretted – among countless other things – about how my sons’ childhoods were passing while I sat in a gloom or snapped about in a grump. They are beautiful people and I wasn’t even looking at them. So my Things I’ve Learned From My Children evolved. http://bundance.blogspot.com/search/label/things%20I%20learned%20from%20my%20children%20today Recording something amusing, sweet or poignant about each of them in turn at least three times a week meant I’d think nice things about each of them at least three times a week. It was that simple – still my mind and live in the moment with a boy at a time.

I was amazed at how good it felt, not only was I thinking about them at while I typed, but all day, everyday their marvellous exploits were sticking in my mind… because I was going to blog about them.

So what I’ve learned from my blog is that my children are amazing individuals who will teach me everything I need to know as long as I take time to look.

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So powerful Ellen…thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences and how important blogging was to you as a mother and a woman.  Well done you…

Thank you so much to Erica at Littlemummy who put together the whole idea of The Great British Blog Festival.  The aim was for bloggers to share their knowledge about blogging to spread the word and the good feelings that blogging can bring.  I think we’ve more than achieved that goal!  Now that The Great British Blog Festival is over we can all focus our energies to helping ENGLAND to bring home that oddly shaped World Cup trophy (sorry USA, you’ve no chance!)…EN-GA-LAND!!!

The Great British Blog Festival- Thursday

Posted by cafebebemama on Jun 10, 2010 in Blogger Love, The Great British Blog Festival | 13 comments

What a week it’s been so far! Tales of Blogging or Not Blogging, Twitter Appreciation, Advice about Writing Reviews and Travelling with Computers!  I’m stuffed!  But there’s more…two days left!  What a great course in blogging we’re having!  Have you been to Littlemummy, Littlemumpreneur, English Mum and Me, The Man and The Baby?  They also have some amazing posts on their sites to support The Great British Blog Festival.

So on to today’s glorious blogger!  Well, sort of…she’s a bit of a mystery this lovely lady.  Well, I think she’s a lady!  She sure has some lovely hats…

I’m a married mum of three daughters.

L is just 3 and S and A are identical (monochorionic for those in the know) twins aged 1. Their father is the very supportive and generally wonderful B.

Once upon a time I was a lawyer, trying to juggle a busy working life with three very demanding girls (and their father, who occasionally likes me to actually talk to him, rather than just grunting in his general direction).

I started this blog in October 2009, just as I was going back to work after my second lot of maternity leave. I called the blog “Is there a Plan B?” because it felt as though my life was getting away from me, and that despite all my efforts I was never going to be able to catch up with it. I needed an alternative option.

Welcome Plan B/Harriet:

If you could start again, who would you be?

Who are you? Who am I? Who are any of us really?

Let’s start with me. Until about two weeks ago, I was “Plan B”, now I’m “Harriet”, give me another six months and you’ll probably know my full name, date of birth and internet banking password*.

It’s very easy to be anonymous online isn’t it? The papers are full of scary tales of “internet-stalkers”, people who are not who they say they are, and the impression given is that such people are weirdos. Oddballs with something to hide. Probably single, desperate, and still living with their parents on a diet of out-of-date packet mince.

So what about those of us who are blogging (quasi) anonymously. Is it because we’ve got something to hide? Should we come out and show our faces?

Anonymity gives you freedom. The power to write about whoever and whatever you like. I recently self-censored a post which was mildly insulting about some people I had met recently. They don’t know I blog. I’m unlikely to tell them I blog. But the fear that they might know someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows I blog was too great. I’m just not brave enough to risk my new neighbours knowing that they put me in mind of a bunch of 70s wife-swappers…

And then there’s the whatever. Some of the best and funniest posts I’ve read have been about, well, you know, ahem, sex. And I can’t go there. I have a marriage to protect and I’m not sure it would survive my putting my sex life out there for comment. Nor can I post about my job, or my family (although I’ve come pretty close to the line on that), or the niggles that occur in any marriage. And sometimes it’d be an enormous release to do so.

But then, if it’s so great, why have I semi-outed myself? You won’t find any pictures of me out there, and I still haven’t confessed to my full name. If you send me an email, I’m still hiding behind a pseudonym. So why tell you what I’m really called?

When I started my blog I wanted to be read. Don’t we all? I mean, if you don’t want people to read what you write, why put it on the internet? And the easiest way of getting people to read it is to tell them about it. And puff there goes your anonymity in a cloud of smoke. Because once you’ve told one person, you might as well have told everyone. And once one person knows who you are, pretending that you aren’t gets silly and circular. So being out and proud allows you to self-market, to whatever extent you want to.

Because if you want to be anonymous, I think you need to be anonymous and that means everyone. Don’t tell your husband, your mum, your best friend. There are bloggers out there whose husbands and partners don’t know they blog. (How they keep that secret I will never know. Do they blog in the loo, claiming severe constipation?) With hindsight, I wish I’d only told strangers, or relied on the blogging world to find me, but my best beloved (who knew, of course he knew) got over-excited and mentioned it to a few people and now I don’t know (worst case scenario) who does know about it and who doesn’t.

And then there’s the social aspect. I’ve read, today alone, three posts by different bloggers about meeting up with fellow bloggy-types. I’ve never done that (although I’m hoping to soon), but if you’re not who you say you are, or you don’t want people to know who you really are, it’s difficult to pop round for a cup of tea isn’t it? And how else do you turn the fabulous bloggy friends I think we all make into real friends. Similarly, now that British Mummy Blogging is becoming more mainstream, how do you go to CyberMummy? I don’t think balaclavas are in this year, and it’s not very practical in July.

Plus, and here’s where I sound really pathetic, I just felt a bit lame. If I’d really been thinking about it when I started the blog, I’d have given myself a pseudonym. Maybe my porn name*: Pipkin Schofield, and you could all have known me as “Pip”. But emailing people, and knowing some very personal things about them, while still calling myself “Plan B” (because I didn’t know that was how it worked when I set up the blog and all I knew was that I didn’t want to use my real name), felt stupid, and in some cases downright rude.

So what’s the answer? Is there an answer? Clearly I don’t have one, lurking, as I do, in the no-man’s-land of my rapidly disappearing quasi-anonymity. The thing is, I actually suspect that the bloggers out there who are really anonymous, to the extent that even their partners don’t know about it, are relatively few and far between. I’d imagine that those at the other extreme; the ones who link every post back to facebook or twitter and have a business card with their blog URL printed on it are probably more numerous, but I suspect that the vast majority of us are like me. Dithering between the two stools, wanting the best of both, and fearing the worst.

And which makes the best blog? Why the best writers of course.

*First pet and grandmother’s maiden name.

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This is such an interesting topic that Harriet/Plan B brings up.  I never once considered being anonymous when I started blogging but in recent months I sometimes wish that I was anonymous.  Sometimes you just want to have a good old whinge or complain but you know certain people will read it and you don’t want to upset or disappoint.

So you carry on but perhaps end up censoring yourself a bit??  I can’t totally relate to Plan B’s opinion as my life is pretty much an open book on my blog but I do ALWAYS protect my daughter’s name and I never blog about my husband in a way that I wouldn’t want him to read.  My Dad reminded me of that once and he’s right.  If you can’t say something to someone’s face then you probably shouldn’t be writing about it for the whole world to see!

Thank you Harriet for adding so much to the topic and to today’s Great British Blog Festival.  You’re welcome at Cafe Bebe any time!

For the FINAL day of The Great British Blog Festival tomorrow we will have another beautiful blogger joining us.  This former journalist and PR is now one of the many, the proud, the SAHM’s!  She has 3 boys and will bring us a very personal and important blog post that you won’t want to miss…come back tomorrow for some beautiful writing.

The Great British Blog Festival- Wednesday

Posted by cafebebemama on Jun 9, 2010 in Blogger Love, Guest Bloggers, The Great British Blog Festival | 0 comments

I bring you a not-so-wordless-Wednesday for The Great British Blog Festival today.  Isn’t it fun to see all of the great posts about blogging?  You surely have been to visit Littlemummy, Littlemumpreneur, English Mum and Me, The Man and The Baby?  They’ve got brilliant posts on their sites as well…make sure to visit them after you read this brilliant offering today.

Today’s guest blogger is Victoria from It’s a Small World After All.  She and her lovely family are about to embark on an amazing trip around the world!  As she says on her glorious blog, “We are a family of five from London, planning to embark on a round the world trip in November this year. We will be travelling for about nine months before returning home in July 2011.” I love how Victoria is so CASUAL about this MAHOOSIVE adventure!  What an amazing experience for them all.  Here Victoria shares with us some of her travelling experiences with regards to blogging…

Travelling with a computer

My first entry into the blogging world was about three years ago via travel blogging. Through hanging out in the Lonely Planet’s Thorn Tree forums, I became aware that people were writing online diaries of their trips. Being an ex-travel junkie, stuck at home with three children aged 5, 3 and 1, I couldn’t get enough of reading these blogs and would travel vicariously while my children napped.

Like parenting blogs, some travel blogs are online daily journals, whilst others are a series of articles about different aspects of their journey. Personally I find the latter more interesting, as I don’t usually feel the need to know what someone eats three times a day and there are only so many times I can read about the glories of Macchu Picchu without ever having visited. But sometimes I also pore over the details of the former, particularly when it’s a family travel blog. How do they cope with overnight trains? What do their children eat? What kind of luggage are they carrying?

The community aspect of travel blogging is very important, as with most blogging. Instead of parenting tips, travel bloggers share news of great guesthouses and interesting things to do. It’s a brilliant way of connecting with people all over the world, I know who to contact when I’m visiting Hawaii or New Zealand, and that they’ll tell me the best places for shave ice and sheep shearing. Travel bloggers have also been known to offer each other beds for the night. We almost had a Kiwi family with eight children to stay, but last year’s terrible summer chased them south to Greece before they made it to London. Hopefully we shall finally get to meet when we go to Auckland later this year.

Travel blogging can be logistically difficult. Many countries don’t have readily available Wi-Fi, and you can spend a lot of time hunting out the nearest McDonalds to upload a post. There is also a conflict between getting out there and doing stuff to actually write about, and writing about it. Hours spent behind the computer uploading all your gorgeous pictures are hours that could perhaps be better spent on the beach.

For me, blogging about our upcoming round the world trip is a way to make sense of it all, cope with the anticipation and excitement and keep a record for the future. We’ll be taking two netbooks with us so hopefully I’ll be able to keep blogging regularly as we travel. It will be a useful way for us to stay in touch with family and friends when we’re away, and when we come back we will have an amazing family album. A great bonus of my participation in the UK parent blogging community is that I’ll be able to take all of you with me.

Victoria Wallop has been blogging for over a year, mostly about travel stuff, at It’s a Small World After All.

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I CANNOT imagine undertaking something like the “It’s a Small World After All” family are about to undertake!  The stress of flying with ONE toddler to America & back is enough to knock me for six!  I can’t wait to see what they get up to.

Now for tomorrow’s blogger: Well, let’s see, she’s writing a wee post for us about anonymity which is THE hot topic in the blogging world these days (she’s so hip!).  She’s a former London lawyer who’s switched City Life for Scottish Life and is wondering how much fun being a SAHM to 3 will be?  Remember to pop back to see this lovely blogger…she’s got some gorgeous HATS as well!

The Great British Blog Festival- Tuesday

Posted by cafebebemama on Jun 8, 2010 in Blogger Love, Guest Bloggers, The Great British Blog Festival | 9 comments

It’s Day Two of The Great British Blog Festival and the great tips just keep on coming!  If you want to learn about blogging and share the love (I’m hearing “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” from The Lion King now), you only need visit Cafe Bebe, Littlemummy, Littlemumpreneur, English Mum and Me, The Man and The Baby for the next few days.

Today I bring you some great tips on writing reviews from a blogger who has some very good experience.  She writes at several blogs (New Mummy, New Mummy’s Tips, Make It Bake It, Midlands Mums, Mumstop to name a few) and has reviewed products for The Great Toy Guide and Living with Kids.  Carol Smith managed to share her words of wisdom about reviews amongst all of her responsibilities…

http://mummynew.blogspot.com

How to write reviews by Carol at New Mummy

Once you’ve been blogging for a while you may be offered products to review from PR firms. Whether you decide to do these reviews are entirely up to you.  Some bloggers like to do them and some don’t.  A polite no thank you will do.

You will find that you may get offered things that are not suitable for you.  You have two choices: email back and say “thank you but it’s not relevant to me” (ideally they would have read your blog but that’s not always the case) or just hit delete.

If you are not interested in doing reviews at all, you may want to think about putting a note on your blog asking them not to contact you.

If you do decide that you want to write reviews either on your own blog or for someone else’s here are some tips on reviews.

• Firstly, don’t feel you have to take everything that is on offer.  I’ve been offered all sorts but have learnt to be selective. Is it a product that potentially you would buy yourself?
• Once you’ve agreed to the review, set a clear timeline with the PR firm. For example, you will test the product for two weeks and write the review within a week of the testing. Set your own time frame.  As long as they know, they will generally be happy with that.
• Check to see if they want the product back.  If it’s a large product such as a pram, most won’t but some do. Make sure they arrange the pickup and pay all costs if necessary
• Test the product well before you write the review.  Depending on what it is I suggest 2 to 4 weeks.
• Write notes as you go along.  I always forget things then I write the review and think I wish I had mentioned ‘x, y, z’. Note the pros and cons of the product.
• When you come to write the review think about its layout. There are a few ways you can write it.  Personally I write the review like any other post.  I talk about what I did with it and if my daughter liked it (most products are for her).  I mention any funny stories. You may decide to set it out more formally with titles such as Initial Reaction, What I liked about the product, What I didn’t like, and Overall review. Or Features, Pros and Cons. Some like to give the product a score for example 4/5. Try writing the review in a few different ways and see what works best for you.
• Think about what you want out of a review, what you want to know about a product. Is it durable? Is it safe? Is it value for money? Is it easy to put together? Is it comfortable? Etc
• Add any relevant links to the review, the website of the product or where it can be purchased.
• Use pictures where possible.  The PR person should be able to send you images and logos. If you have pictures of the product being used by you they post them.
• Always be honest about a product.  If it doesn’t fulfill the brief or if it doesn’t do what it is supposed to do then tell us. However be careful how you say this, don’t just write its ‘crap’.  Tell your readers what was wrong with it, why don’t you like it? Did it fall apart? Was it unsafe? We need to know why we should or shouldn’t buy it.

I hope this has been of some help to you and you know have some insight into writing reviews.

Great information Carol!  I’ve reviewed quite a few items in my time and one of my top tips is that if you DON’T like something you are reviewing, find a way to be CONSTRUCTIVE about your review.  Just because you don’t like it or it doesn’t work for you/your family, doesn’t mean that someone else won’t love it.

I would also advise that if you do write reviews, find a way to create either a separate page or category under which to file them.  It makes it easier to find when people are searching for reviews.

In my humble opinion, the reviews that I have posted on my blog have probably been the posts least commented on.  Unless it is the latest greatest product that everyone wants and needs, you won’t find a great deal of readers taking the time to comment on your post.  They may read it and may even consider buying it thanks to your recommendations but you probably will not find a great deal of discourse going on with regards to a review post.

Come back tomorrow for a post by a very special blogger and vlogger who just so happens to be getting ready for a VERY LARGE and VERY LONG trip and finds ways to entertain us every day on Twitter.  She’s a mega-fan of a certain Starman (don’t ask) and she is brilliant at orchestrating obstacle courses & den building.  Do you know who she is???

The Great British Blog Festival-Monday

Posted by cafebebemama on Jun 7, 2010 in Blogger Love, Guest Bloggers, The Great British Blog Festival | 10 comments

Roll Up…Roll Up…Welcome to The Great British Blog Festival at Cafe Bebe!  Started by Erica at Littlemummy, The Great British Blog Festival is a celebration of the brilliance of blogging.  It’s an opportunity for bloggers to share their knowledge about blogging and all that comes with it.

Erica had such an overwhelming response from the world wide blogosphere that her lovely blog couldn’t contain the joy!  Erica asked if some brilliant bloggers could help by hosting some of the outstanding posts…me! me! me!  Cafe Bebe can do it!  (Yes We Can!)  There are three other hosts:  the glorious & cupcakey English Mum, enthusiastic & energetic Me, The Man and The Baby and Great British Blog Festival creator Erica’s other superb blog, Littlemumpreneur.

You can visit all of these blogs each day this week (oh, don’t forget Cafe Bebe too) to gain blogging wisdom and insight from those who have gone before you.  What an genius forum to learn and share!  It’s “Britain’s Got Talent” for the blogging world!

For today’s post we have the gorgeous and prolific Susan K. Mann.  Here’s a bit about Susan from her own bio on her lovely site:

www.susankmann.co.uk

I work as a software developer and service manager for an IT Company which I enjoy. I am a wife to the wonderful Robert and mother to two gorgeous boys. First aged three and second aged one. In my free time or when I can grab some time in between working, being the best mum I can, housework, being a wife I read but my passion is for writing. I hope to have a novel published one day.

To Blog or Not to Blog….

My blog is a relatively small blog; I only started in January of this year. However, it has grown quickly through the help of Twitter, British Mummy Bloggers, Writing Workshops and The Gallery. I am not sure I would class myself as a Mummy Blogger. I am a mummy and a blogger so yes I suppose you could say that I am, but I don’t just blog about being a mother. I blog about me, my family, my kids, my interests, my writing and the books I read. Therefore, it’s a bit of everything.

Most blogs fall into one category or another; I’m not sure which one mine fits into. I’m a book blogger, I’m a review blogger, I’m a mummy blogger, and I have a writer’s blog. So who knows? I like my blog, I blog for me. Not to see how popular I am with however many followers I have. Although it is a nice feeling when you get a new follower who posts a nice wee comment. I like to post what I like.

Blogging has given me confidence. Confidence in expressing myself in a way I never would have before. Confidence in telling the world how I feel, just sharing experiences, not for anyone in particular just for myself so they are out there. It’s like a release valve. Once it’s on the blog the world can read it, if they choose to and it’s as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. I have shared the problem or the experience but not to a relative or a friend a stranger, who doesn’t know me and won’t judge me but who may offer a little bit of advice of their wisdom. And that to me is what blogging is all about.

One of the best ways in which you can meet liked minded people, new blogs and friends is through Twitter. Twitter is a fantastic way of doing this. For those of you not familiar with Twitter, it is a micro blogging site, in which you use 140 characters of less to say what you want. You can respond to other people’s tweets or direct message them if you don’t want what you are saying made public.

I have found Twitter to be useful resource for meeting new people, new blogs, but most of all I have found friends and support that would astound you. I can ask about a problem I am having with one of my children and there will be several tweets back within minutes, from fellow mothers with advice on their experiences. It is amazing, something I couldn’t and don’t want to live without. I am now addicted.

Thank you Susan…

Wow…what great words from Susan!  I find such similarities in my blogging as well.  Twitter has become a real “passion” of mine and I too find that it’s become a community of support as well as a networking and promotional opportunity.  I see the power in Twitter and also the DANGER!  It can become a bit too addictive sometimes…but that’s a post in and of itself.

I love that Susan talks about blogging giving her confidence.  I have found that as well!  I needed an outlet and there’s an immediate response that comes from blogging.  Whether it’s someone who agrees or gives you an entirely different point of view, it’s so fulfilling to feel that you’re REACHING people.

To read more of Susan’s writing, please visit her blog at www.susankmann.co.uk as well as the other blogs listed above all week long.  The Great British Blog Festival rolls on at Cafe Bebe tomorrow with a great post from…wait…I can’t tell you that!  Let me give you a hint…she’s a blogger from the Midlands…she has SEVERAL blogs…she’s got a lovely little girl and she’s up for a MAD award.  Tune in tomorrow to see who it is…