Guest Bloggers

It’s all about Mummy Matters

Posted by cafebebemama on Sep 5, 2011 in Blogger Love, Guest Bloggers | 3 comments

My wonderful friend Sabina is holding down the Cafe Bebe fort for me on our last day on holiday. Sabina blogs at Mummy Matters and has become quite the blogger in the last year. Bina reviews outstanding products and shares some really gorgeous photos every week. Ella and I often make sneak appearances in Bina’s posts as well! Sabina has also been an outstanding friend to me and my family and it is my pleasure to hand my blog over to her today. Welcome Sabina of Mummy Matters…

Tell me about yourself in 100 words or less. WHO ARE YOU??

Me? Do you know who I am!?  I’m a Mummy who is lucky enough to be able to stay at home with my little ones and do the odd bit of work and blogging at the same time.  I always wanted to be a Mum and I’m so grateful for the opportunity my family are my life.  I love writing, doing crafts and socialising but I’m sure someone stole a few days from my week because I don’t seem to have the time to everything anymore? You can find me on my blog Mummy Matters, Twitter @MummyMatters and Facebook

What’s the best thing that has happened to you as a result of blogging?

I have made some truly amazing friends and received great support in times of need.

What are you most looking forward to in the coming months?

Two new babies coming into my life, Cafe Bebe’s and my cousin Charley’s I’m hoping they will fill the baby gap in my life now my baby is about to turn 1 and then I won’t want another one – chances of this are zero!

Share with us 5 of your favourite blogs and WHY!

• Northern Mummy – she tells it like it is and has a dry humour, I think her children will LOVE reading her blog when they grow up.
• Mammy Woo – an amazing writer – nuff said!
• Maris World – Funny, funny lady, great vlogs and no messing!
• Super Amazing Mum – because I love her!
• MumtoJ – Because even though she is the other side of the world I can find out what my lovely friend and her family are doing and I’m so proud of her strength in dealing with her son’s aspergers diagnosis – a fabulous lady who I miss even though I’m rubbish at telling her so!

What is it like being a step-parent?

I have been an official ‘stepmum’ to Curly now for nearly four and a half years but I have been in his life as his Daddy’s girlfriend for nearly seven and a half years.  Regulars readers of my site will probably notice that I don’t talk too much about my life as a stepmum.  This isn’t because I’m ashamed of it or don’t like it,its because it’s probably going to open up on a whole minefield but I have decided that it is something which I need to approach.  This is my blog where I write about my life and being a stepmum to Curly is a huge part of my life and sometimes I get it right and sometimes I get it wrong.  Pretty much like being a normal parent then!

Without wishing to alienate people I think its fair to say that unless you have been a stepmum or stepdad yourself you haven’t really got a clue what it’s like but this is my story,in my own words . . .

The first time I saw Curly he was a tiny little tot (just turned 2) with a mass of bright blond curly hair (I wonder where I got his blog name from?),he had the biggest smile and the cutest cherubic face and to be honest apart from getting a lot taller and his hair getting darker,nothing much has changed.  He still has a lovely smile (when he’s not forcing it) and he is still as cheeky as ever.  I began dating his Daddy 3-4 months after he had split from Curly’s Mummy and it wasn’t a decision that we took lightly.  We had been friends for 18 months and so already knew each other well but knowing that a child would be heavily involved in our relationship we weren’t prepared to just dive in on the off-chance that something good might come out of it.  We discussed our thoughts on marriage,further children,where we saw our lives going etc etc etc.  Normally this sort of conversation would have frightened the life out of me before a first date but neither of us wanted to take the risk of Curly going through a further relationship breakdown so it was all or nothing.  No pressure then!

The first year was especially hard with regards to outside pressures which do not need airing here but in our little bubble of Curly,Daddy and me things were going well.  We took things really slowly,initially we would go out for odd days here and there and we wouldn’t even hold hands in front of him.  Then after a month or so we would hold hands in front of Curly and give each other a quick kiss to say goodbye.  The funniest was when on a day out Curly turned to his Daddy and said “can we take her home now Daddy?” and then as I went to get out of the car he said “don’t forget to kiss her Daddy”.  Another six months down the line we discussed me staying over the night whilst Curly was there,I remember it like it was yesterday.  We went out for a walk to the park and as we walked home,Daddy said to Curly,“what would you think to Beanie (me) staying over tonight at our house?”.  Curly replied with “yeah she can share my room if she wants to!”.

Jump forward another couple of years to an evening where we handed Curly an envelope with an Invitation to our Wedding.  As he opened it he said “are you guys getting married?” we tentatively replied with “yes,what do you think?” and his reply “wicked!” followed by a big hug for us both.  During our wedding ceremony we added an extra vow to include Curly so that he knew that the wedding was not just about me and Daddy,we were a team.

When Little Bean came along he was very excited to meet his little sister and was as helpful as a big brother could be,although I couldn’t convince him to help with changing the nappies!!  And now that Beanie Boy is here,he has again been of great help (when he wants to be) and yes,he has even changed a couple of nappies now!!

But has our journey been an easy one?  The very honest answer is NO!  Our journey has been a very bumpy rollercoaster ride,sometimes because of outside sources.  The relationship between his Mother and stepdad and his Daddy and me has not always been easy.  For the most part we are amicable,we have even been known to share the odd Christmas drink together but there have also been a lot of downs.  We do not always see eye-to-eye on parenting methods or on how Curly’s time should be divided between his two homes but we do always try to remember that at the centre of it all is a little boy.

The hardest part for me was when Curly started at school,I always said that I would treat him as I would my own child so that if we had more children he would not feel any different.  When he started school,I wanted to do what any (step)Mum would want to do,I wanted to see him in his uniform all dressed up like a big boy but his Mum wouldn’t allow it.  I wanted to attend parent’s evenings as I was having just as much input into his schoolwork at home,I wanted to hear first-hand what the teachers had to say (because Hubby is useless at passing on messages!) but again his Mum wouldn’t allow it.  I was allowed to drop at and collect Curly from School and it was ok for me to collect him from school when he was ill.  I am allowed to attend events such as Sports Day or assemblies but that is the limit to my school involvement.  This has never sat well with me but I have come to accept it and have taken the back seat.

When Little Bean came into our lives we were unsure how this would affect Curly because at the time we were having him one evening per week and a day and evening over the weekend but it felt like he was never really settling with us.  We had discussions with his Mum and changed his weekends so that he would be with us from a Friday evening to a Monday morning every other weekend and this has worked wonders.  Friday night and Saturday morning are usually when he adjusts to being back into larger family life (he has no siblings at his Mum’s) and on Saturday afternoon/Sunday he is fully settled and alls feels quite normal.  We still have him one evening in the week and then we have him extra days during the school holidays or if his Mum is away and he joins us on family holidays.

The difficulty that I now find myself in is when we fall out (mainly Curly and me) I battle with my conscience as to whether we are falling out as a Mother and Son would being the age that he is (nearly 10yrs) or whether it is because he is my stepson.  I try very hard to discipline all the children the same but with their differences in age this isn’t always easy.  Little Bean gets a fair amount of discipline from me at the moment as she is at that very tricky stage where she is testing her boundaries,Beanie Boy is obviously just a baby though he is starting to hear the word ‘no’ quite frequently too.  But Curly frustrates me,on Tuesday we had a lovely day out and I felt the happiest I had been in while with my family unit as everyone was on top form for a change.  No-one was stressed out,the children played nicely together and all was well with the world.  Then yesterday it was as though someone tipped the world on its head and shook it up.  Curly and Little Bean were winding each other up all day,Little Bean kept screaming and waking Beanie Boy from his naps,Curly continuously snapped at Little Bean and spoke to her like she was something on the bottom of his shoe.  He speaks to me and Daddy like this regularly and it drives us mad.  I’m sure it would be the same if he were my own flesh and blood but I always find myself asking that question.

Being a step-parent is very rewarding when its going well,knowing that a child not of your own flesh and blood loves you unconditionally as if you were their Mother is a wonderful feeling but on the flipside,either by the child or external sources it is heart-breaking when you are cruelly reminded that you are NOT their true parent.  At the end of the day,each new day is a learning curve,we are faced with new situations to test us.  I have never been a stepmum before and likewise Curly has not been a stepson,we are growing and learning together but that is what we are – TOGETHER – and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

So there,I’ve finally broken my silence on being a step-parent.  I will always love Curly as my own but I can’t say that it will always be easy!

Thanks so much, Sabina…what a heart-felt and touching post. I for one think you are a rather fabulous parent…step or otherwise! We’re on our way home from holiday now. Boo. Normal service should return manana.

Mari’s World takes Centre Stage

Posted by cafebebemama on Sep 2, 2011 in Blogger Love, Guest Bloggers | 2 comments

The world of blogging has introduced me to some amazing bloggers. Marianne Whooley is one of those lovely ladies. We’re both Video Bloggers for BritMums and LOVE talking to the camera. Marianne has a very special talent for video blogging and I know she’s going to go far in this new blogging trend! Mari’s World is a lovely blog full of gorgeous pictures of Mari’s simply breathtaking twins and the adventures of the whole family. Mari has also been a staunch supporter of Flashback Friday for which I am very grateful.

Marianne has patiently answered my Bloggers Questions and will be showcasing her blogging talents in the post below. Enjoy and please visit Mari often…she’ll never disappoint!

Tell me about yourself in 100 words or less. Who are you???

I am Marianne. I’m on the other side of 40 and embracing life as it’s thrown at me! I am mum of 4 and grandma to one. I lived in the UK until I was 19 and then I lived in beautiful Italia for another 18 odd years. I married an Italian, had two beautiful children with him, helped run the family hotel, learnt the lingo fluently and made a ton of friends who taught me to cook ‘properly’. When my marriage failed I returned home. After a while I met a handsome prince and we had a rocky road to creating a new family, our twins were born in 2008 and are our joy and raison d’être. As if that wasn’t enough to talk about I love writing, meeting people, learning new things and putting myself to the test. I have recently discovered vlogging which seems made for me. I am my own z list celeb now too adding a brand new string to my bow. I could talk more but Karin said 100 words so come on over if you’re intrigued, I have cake. Find me at: Mari’s World, on Twitter @Maris_world and Mari’s World on Facebook

What’s the best thing that has happened to you as a result of blogging?

Blogging has opened up a brand new world to me, being a SAHM can be quite isolating and having twins I wasn’t able to go back into the workforce due to high nursery costs, we decided I would stay home and look after the girls. Blogging has given me a creative outlet that fulfils me, allows me to test myself and gain response from other intelligent people who read my posts. Blogging has allowed me to test and review products which slowly is turning into a form of pay, not much yet but who knows where this could lead? And also I have met some really fabulous people, Karin included at the various events that are organised. I’ve been to a bloggers conference and a Christmas dinner. I can’t wait to see what each week has to offer now

What are you most looking forward to in the coming months?

I’m most looking forward to taking my vlogging to the next step and having recently added a Challenge Mari page to my blog inspired by the brilliant Life before P&G challenge back in the spring I’m hoping to be contacted by other brands and companies with some exciting and innovative challenges. I am currently a Butlins Official Mums Ambassador and Bosch lawn and Garden have challenged me to a garden makeover over the next two months. Very exciting times.

Share with us your five favourite blogs and why?

Five? That’s going to be the hardest part!

• The Syders, this is one creative lady. I wish I had half of her talent!
• Attic 24 just for inspiration, it’s 100% beautiful
• Scandinavian Sojourn she’s about to uproot the family again from Denmark and transfer them to San Diego all exciting stuff and I love the way she sees the world.
• Frankie Parker a NZ girl living over here who may/may not be going back
• SAHM and loving it. Heather is so easy to connect with and I laugh and cry with her on her journey. There are tons more including Karin’s but I’m here so I guessed that was obvious and chose to highlight some others

You Won’t Know What to Do with Yourself!

That’s the usual reply I get when I mention the girls are about to start preschool in September, it’s a joke of course as ALL mums know what they can do with their gift of ‘me’ time and I am no exception.

Let’s face it when little ones head off into the big wide world On Their Own a gap opens in your day. I will have three hours a day five days a week and I know right now that not one minute will go to waste.

I also know right now before it’s even started that three hours are not enough to accomplish everything I want to do. I know I’ll be running up the road to get to pre-school for 12pm and not be a ‘bad‘ mother who is always late.

Don’t get me wrong, I won’t be late because I don’t want to be with my children but because I’ve tried to cram too much into my ‘me’ time and am using every last second available before I switch back into mummy mode and dedicate myself to Alice and Bessie.

It’s fun and I’m looking forward to it. I’m looking forward to the girls having a new life, something they can call their own to come home and talk about. I love that there will be teachers there patient enough to teach them how to use scissors, something I just can’t manage to teach them. Keyworkers who will get out paints, modelling clay and all other forms of mess that I am so reluctant to get out at home as I can’t do with the tidying up afterwards. And people who will see them being themselves away from me and hopefully report back that they are well behaved and nice little girls.

Alice is dying to have her own Best Friend at the moment this coveted position has been awarded to her cousin Samuel but I feel with preschool, Samuel may be kicked off his pedestal as her options widen but thankfully I don’t think he’ll even realise what’s happened. Phew!

…and Bessie, who sucks her thumb and wants everyone to believe she’s a bruiser when underneath she’s just as frightened, if not more, than everybody else. It will be lovely to watch the girls transform this year ready to start Big School next September.

Marianne, I can SOOOOO relate to you! I’ll be issuing my own “What will you do with your ME time?” video blog when we return from holiday as Ella will be going to preschool 3 full-days a week starting 7 September! I’ll get about 3 months of ME time before Bebe arrives! Thanks so much for holding court for me Mari. Now I just MUST get this sand out of my suit bottom! Ouch!

Mammasaurus is in the House

Posted by cafebebemama on Sep 1, 2011 in Blogger Love, Guest Bloggers | 6 comments

Today is the turn of the delectable Annie from Mammasaurus Blog who is commanding the wheel of Cafe Bebe. I found Annie’s blog through Twitter and BritMums and she never ceases to make me laugh. Annie has not been blogging very long but she is quickly making a name for herself and I’m happy to hand over my blog to her…I think, anyway! Annie has graciously answered my Blogger Questions and is also sharing a BRILLIANT post which I found exceptionally brave and inspiring. Thank you Annie…over to you!

Tell me about yourself in 100 words or less. WHO ARE YOU??

RAWR! I am Mammasaurus ! Oh alright…my names Annie, and I am 36 yrs old, GSOH, looking for companionship and who knows- maybe more! Oh bum sorry – wrong form. Er I’m a mummy of 8, wife of 1 (though I had to go through 2 previous husbands before I found a good one) and mother to Sherman the very stinky Basset Hound. I love nothing more than to flaunt my love of gin and hope that one day Gordons or Bombay Sapphire will contact me with a PR request. You can find me at: Blog-  http://mammasaurus.wordpress.com/ Facebook- http://www.facebook.com/MammasaurusBlog and tweety tweety @MammasaurusBlog

What’s the best thing that has happened to you as a result of blogging?

I know it’ll sound rather uncharacteristically cheesy but it’s finding so many supportive networks of lovely fellow parents and being able to share in each other’s happy and sad moments. That and the hot male fans I get following me about town now. 

What are you most looking forward to in the coming months?

• CHRISTMAS!  No really Christmas!
• Trying out some new ideas on my blog.
• Attending BlogCamp in Brighton and BritMumsLive! Next year, learning new things and finally putting some faces to names!!!

Share with us 5 of your favourite blogs and WHY!

http://doodlemum.wordpress.com/ – for amazing drawings that always make me smile and marvel at her talent.

http://chattybaby.blogspot.com/ – I love reading about how Chatty Baby is getting on, great to read something written from babies point of view.

http://cafebebe.co.uk – Yeah so I’m a creep – sue me! No seriously I love Karin’s style of sometimes opinionated honesty.

http://www.bloggingdangerously.com/ – she’s a little bit rude and makes me snigger LOTS – I love it when I see one of her new posts hit my inbox.

http://www.redtedart.com/ – I love doing arty crafty shizzle with Bean and Oz and Red Ted never lets me down with a huge range of craft ideas – I always leave that blog feeling inspired!

I would start off by saying that you have no clue how hard it was to put that photo up on here but I’m guessing that if you are a mummy, be it of one or many, you’ll have a fair idea.

Saggy tummies are not a taboo subject within parenting circles, in fact they are widely discussed. However they are rarely seen. At times I have quite confidentially stated

“Yes I have a saggy tummy, but every stretch-mark is a testimony to my journey into motherhood.”

Which in itself is true, I have many stretch marks and when I look at my tummy I can even tell you which one is from each of my eight lovely children. However – do I like my tummy? Would I happily whack on a bikini and wiggle my bottom along the beach on a sunny day ? Er NO WAY!

I’ve just about had enough of how we all give ourselves ridiculously high expectations as mothers, wives and as women. My mother was on the ‘plumper’ side when I was growing up but we loved her unconditionally as her children and my father adored her. Surely that has to be enough? Why do the majority of us feel that we have to fit in to teenager sized skinny jeans ? And that’s coming from someone who’s just battled with an extreme diet-bordering eating disorder to reach 9 stone.

So there you have it. that’s my tummy… it’s saggy …I can just about handle it. One day I’ll get brave enough to do a post like this on post pregnancy and breastfeeding boobies.

Interested in forming a mummy tummy collage ? Totally anonymous photos of real mummys tummys – email me your tum on annie.sandra.spratt@gmail.com and I’ll put one together and let you know when it’ll be posted up.

Until then – stay saggy y’all !

Oh Annie Mamma, you are an inspiration to us all. I hope that one day next year, I’ll be brave enough (and fit enough) to dare to do the same! Thank you so much for holding court at Cafe Bebe today. Now, back to my non-alcoholic, tropical beverage by the pool. Adios!

Brown Sugar Love from English Mum

Posted by cafebebemama on Aug 30, 2011 in Blogger Love, Guest Bloggers | 1 comment

While I am on holibobs I am handing over Cafe Bebe to some of my favourite bloggers. I figured they might class up the joint a bit! Who knows??

My first guest blogger is a truly special lady called English Mum. Yes, she has a real name but most PR’s seem to like to call her English which I know she loves. English Mum has answered my difficult questions with aplomb (how often do we get to use that word anymore?) and has even, generously donated a GORGEOUS Brown Sugar Cookies recipe for the Cafe Bebe readers. See? I told you she was lovely! I give you Becky aka English Mum. Now, back to my sun lounger and chick-lit novel! ~ Karin

Tell me about yourself in 100 words or less. WHO ARE YOU??

I am Becky – a mum of two fabulously funny teenagers, and very proud wife to a handsome  pilot.  We’ve recently moved back to the Home Counties, so after several years of being ‘English Mum in Ireland’, I’m now just plain ol’ English Mum again!  I’m an enthusiastic foodie, love to travel (mainly to eat the food) and I’m an obsessive cake baker!  I pop up on various places on the interwebz, and in magazines occasionally, writing about food, parenting and travel. You can find me at: Blog: http://englishmum.com/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/englishmumdotcom Twitter: http://twitter.com/EnglishMum

What’s the best thing that has happened to you as a result of blogging?

Meeting such wonderful people, some who’ve become really close friends, plus having such amazing adventures – I feel very privileged to have experienced so much.

What are you most looking forward to in the coming months?

Moving in to our new home (and getting to know my new kitchen, of course!).

Share with us 5 of your favourite blogs and WHY!

Just five?!  Okay, well, I’ll avoid mentioning all my friends, then, and introduce you to some blogs you may not have seen before:

1. For pure cake porn you can’t beat Sprinkle Bakes – amazing recipes and fabulous food styling
2. Lucy writes an amazing blog with great recipes and photography. I’ve known her for ages, and her blog deserves a special mention because she’s only in her teens: http://teenbaker.blogspot.com/
3. Deb is a relatively new blogger.  You’ll find her at http://reginadellacucina.wordpress.com/ – I love her blog because there’s loads to read: not just recipes but reviews and product tests too.  She’s on Twitter as : @FoodieDeb
4. Next up is An Egg a Day: I have a weakness for chickens and this blog is gloriously chickeny (plus the recipes are divine).
5. Last up is the beautiful  Laetitia Maklouf – gardening expert: Her blog is as gorgeous as she is and her gardening tips are really helpful and inspiring.  Plus her little girl is adorable!

And so to the recipe.  This is a really easy cookie recipe which has always been  popular on the blog and has popped up in loads of different guises: with white chocolate and cranberries, or spiced at Christmas time.  I love it because it encourages you to mess around with the recipe and create something personal, which I think is the essence of good cooking!

Brown Sugar Cookies

You will need:

125g butter, softened
150g dark brown sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 tsp vanilla extract
150g plain flour
50g oats

So, just cream the butter, then add the sugar and beat together until it’s light and fluffy. Add the egg, then beat again until creamy, then the vanilla. Finally, stir in the flour, then the oats and stir until it’s all combined.

If you want to add extras, pop them in now: chopped nuts and chocolate is a delicious mixture, but also try leaving out the oats and adding shredded coconut instead, with maybe a little lime zest, or popping in a handful of smarties or raisins… whatever you fancy.  It’s pretty difficult to get wrong.

Dollop the mixture in tablespoonfuls onto a baking sheet.

To freeze ahead: at this stage, you can pop the whole tray into the freezer until they’re solid, then bag them up and keep them in the freezer for the efficient bit at a later date.  If you want to be really posh you can roll the dough up in a cling film sausage, chill, then slice before open-freezing.

To bake, they’ll need about 10-12 minutes at 180 degrees/gas 4, a couple of minutes more from frozen.

Oh Becky! How do I love thee?? Fabulous. Of course, those of you who know me know that I am coeliac sooooo I can’t enjoy Becky’s glorious recipe in this form but if I replace the plain flour with Dove’s Farm Gluten Free White Flour, I’m good to go! Give it a whirl and be sure to pop on over to English Mum for more amazing recipes including one of my personal favourites, Roast Chicken with a Lemon up its Bum!

Hasta luego fair readers! Ole!

Therapeutic Running-Guest Post

Posted by cafebebemama on Aug 6, 2010 in Blogger Love, Guest Bloggers, Mummy Tummy Begone | 4 comments

Run Mami! Run!

I met Maria of Mummy’s Busy World at Cybermummy in July. She’s a delightful blogger and mum to Little M. One night on Twitter, she wrangled a few of us into considering running a 5k with her in September. That includes me! I’m still trying to decide but when Maria wrote some of us an email the other day, I knew that she needed a platform here on Cafe Bebe. You see, a lot of us are struggling with our weight and who we used to be before having babies and Maria said it really well. As her delightful blog is from her son’s perspective, I thought it would be nice for Maria to share her inspiration with you here. So get ready to be inspired and maybe you too will join up for the Adidas 5k Run in September. Feel free to show Maria some love in the comments below. She’s certainly inspired me to get my trainers back on…

Therapeutic Running

Thanks to Karin for giving me the chance to guest blog! You may know me as “Mami”. My son Little M over at Mummy’s Busy World is the blogger in the family, but I thought on this occasion I would speak for myself. He gave me the go-ahead so here I am!

Over the past few weeks I have been preparing for the Adidas Women’s 5k Challenge in Hyde Park for Arthritis Research UK.

It’s not my first 5k. I have been running since October 2003. I still remember the first time I ever ran. My boyfriend, now husband stood on the side of the track instructing me to “go slow”. I felt my chest was going to explode and I couldn’t stop wheezing and coughing. I hated it. My thighs rubbed together and I had horrible flash blacks of coming in last in the relay in P.E class.

However, I came back the next night. And the next and the one after that. Essentially that first night changed my life. I am not thin, or super fit, but I feel healthy but more importantly running has played an important part in different stages of my life. It has become my therapy.

I want others to feel the joy of running. I want you to feel the satisfaction of starting something you never thought you would ever achieve and DO IT! I ran a marathon in 2004, exactly one year after I started running. Yes, that’s 26.2 miles. I had never done a day of exercise in my life – and there I was at the finish line tired, sweaty, in pain and HAPPY!

I’ve had weight issues all my life. When I was younger doctors told my parents to put me on diets. My grandparents in Chile would write letters to my mother and send “special recipes” to lose weight. So I know how it is.

After having Little M, I had not only gained 50lbs (high blood pressure didn’t help) but I also got wrapped up in a very very dark cloud and running helped get me out of my depression. It’s not easy. I’m tired. My legs feel heavy. I would rather have a gin and tonic. But even going out for 20 minutes helps clear my head.

I write when I run.

I talk to my self when I run.

I even say a few Hail Mary’s!

My husband and I rarely get a free moment truly alone. It’s always, “you go I stay with Little M” or vice versa. Before having Little M we had running in common.

We would head out for long runs. We would talk, sometimes argue, make plans but he would always encourage me when I felt I couldn’t go any longer. I miss my husband sometimes. He’s there, but its just too damn difficult as you all know.

Running isn’t just about getting fit, it is finding yourself and achieving what you never thought possible.

We bought a running buggy and now we do family runs. Not the same as the old days, but we talk, we still argue, we plan for the future and he still encourages me. Now I have another little coach pushing me along and holding my water bottle!

I truly believe running and exercicse help push along the dark clouds. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my bouts with depression. And it doesn’t just go away after a run, but it certainly helps bring back the sunshine into my life.

So if you are thinking of giving running a go, you should. Absolutely 100%. You do not have to go fast. You do not have to go far. Just one foot in front of the other and let the momentum take you along.

Believe me, if I can run, anyone can run.

Who’s ready to for a 5k?

Maria x

Twins, Triplets and More-Guest Blogger

Posted by cafebebemama on Jun 29, 2010 in Blogger Love, Guest Bloggers | 4 comments

Twins, Triplets and More Week is in full-swing courtesy of Tamba.  The always lovely Linda Jones, of You’ve Got Your Hands Full fame has asked if she could stop by Cafe Bebe and have a bit of “open mic” time.  But of course!  Friends are always welcome at Cafe Bebe!  I give you Linda Jones…

They've got their hands full!

A generation ago, we all knew where we were with twins. It was fun to give them similar sounding names like Tim and Tom or Lottie and Dottie and great to dress them up in identical outfits to look cute. It still can be of course. They  were given one present between them at Christmas and on their birthdays and books on bringing up twins emphasized their “sameness”.

But today there has been a complete U-turn, with families anxious to recognise their children as individuals and not just half of “the twins.” Now parents of multiples are going to great lengths to make sure that as well as treasuring a special bond, their children learn to relish their independence. From the moment twins are born, people compare and stereotype them – which is the eldest? Which is the quietest? Which is the strongest?

It is important to realise how damaging this can be – affecting not only how the children are seen by the outside world – but also the way they see themselves. (It can also be a massive pain in the arse, I don’t want to compare my children throughout their lives, really.) Mum of two-year-old twins Tracey says: “I am very conscious about bringing my two boys up as individuals – they have never been dressed alike from the moment that they were born. I tell everyone to send them separate birthday cards and if they want to take them out for the day, I am more than happy that they go out individually – this also means that they both get their own time. I am also clear that Jack and Sam are never referred to as “the twins”.

Mary, a mum to four-year-old boys adds: “With the huge amount of information being exchanged across the globe these days and research data on the long-term effects of parenting, we are much more aware of the damage that can be done to multiples if they are not treated as individuals.” According to Tamba, the Twins and Multiple Births Association, twins should be encouraged to achieve a sense of their individuality by dressing them differently from an early age.

But the charity advises new parents: “For the first few months, don’t worry too much about how you dress the babies. You will be so busy that any approach that fits in with your schedule and budget is OK.” As the children grow, it may be continue to be fun to dress them identically. It’s up to us all as parents how we do it. Sod’s law means that anyway, the children may *want* to dress the same.

Twins at play should not have to share their toys. Giving them one toy between them is likely to limit their urge to explore and lead to frustration and fighting. And you should always make a special effort to address each child by their own name. This may sound like stating the obvious. But sometimes, it’s easier said than done…. Asked his name at nursery, soon after joining with his twin brother,  one little boy replied: “It’s Michaelandjohn.”  

This week is Twins, Triplets and More Week. As the awareness week gets under way, the focus is on an initiative called Get Ready for Multiples which aims to tackle post natal depression in multiple birth mums.

Nearly one in five mothers of multiple births develop PND  almost double the number of mothers of singletons who experience this debilitating condition. Tamba also offers a free helpline, Twinline, on 0800 138 0509.

Linda Jones set up You’ve Got Your Hands Full to offer advice, support and information for parents and carers of multiple birth children. She’s also a former Tamba magazine editor. This week her blog is hosting a week of guest posts from bloggers with twins or more and would welcome posts for a carnival to be held on July 2 all about multiple births. Check out You’ve got your hands full for more details.