BritMums Blogging Prompt

Cafe Bebe Resolutions

Posted by cafebebemama on Dec 15, 2011 in Blogger Love, Blogging, BritMums Blogging Prompt | 4 comments

Tis the season to make resolutions, right? Well, I suppose so. I’m never overly keen on resolutions because I think, often, you are setting yourself up for failure from the get-go. For example: “I resolve to get fit this year!” and then by January 5th, when you look outside and see the wind blowing and rain pelting, you decide that fitness isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and end up weighing more by year end than when you began the year. Those are the resolutions I tend to specialise in.

Perhaps the key is lowering your expectations? Perhaps the key is TARGETED, SMART resolutions or goals? Perhaps the key is not being so hard on yourself? Maybe it’s down to setting only ONE goal for yourself for the first half of the year and seeing how you’re getting on by June or July? I’m not sure what the key is but I am going to try to set a few blogging related goals for myself as I’ve come to a bit of an epiphany in the last few weeks.

4 weeks ago I went into hospital with a slight bleed and was due to spend 2 weeks in hospital before Sam was scheduled to be delivered. Sam had other ideas, thank God! However, during my 4 days in hospital before Sam was delivered, Twitter and my blog were my lifeline. They kept me going, boosted my spirits, gave me hope and encouragement and showed me love. I suddenly had people following me that I never knew; wishing me well and tuning in for the “latest news”. Bizarrely, my blog stats went through the roof and the posts that I wrote in hospital were/are some of the most read that I have ever written. How lovely!

And then we came home from hospital. I continued to blog daily (part of NaBloPoMo for the month of November) but my stats started to dwindle a bit. I wondered if people were sick of seeing gooey blog posts and pics of Sam. I also spent considerably less time on the blog and on Twitter, reasonably so. I was enjoying my family, enjoying my son, resting, getting to know my couch very well and there just wasn’t time to tweet. Mind you, I do social media for a freelance job but Twitter just didn’t hold the same importance for me. That’s when I realised that as soon as you take your presence away from Twitter and social media, they are very quick to lose interest in you. I began to realise that perhaps it didn’t matter if my online presence was as strong if I wasn’t missed much anyway?

I’m not saying all of this in a “oh woe is me” sort of way, mind you. I’m saying this in a blogging epiphany sort of way. I adore my blog and the way it allows me to connect with others. Particularly friends and family who actually WANT to know what goes on in our day to day lives. This blog is a nearly-daily record of the last 2 1/2 years of our lives. That is precious and not to be dismissed. I will continue to blog and share and over-share and rant but what I will NOT do is LIVE for my blog. I’ll continue to use Twitter and enjoy the online relationships and friendships that I have built through Twitter but I will not spend my day thinking about what to Tweet next. If people aren’t interested, they can unfollow or unsubscribe. I can’t be worried about my stats and numbers and rankings any more. My Sam is too precious, my Ella is too special and my life is more important than numbers and tweets.

So, fair readers, for the year 2012, the Cafe Bebe Resolutions are as follows:

• Live for my family. Blog about what I like, when I like, how I like. If good things come of it, great. If not, no worries.
• Tweet when it works for us. Spend more time OFF Twitter living the life I am so grateful for.
• Make lists to follow on Twitter and don’t get bogged down in blogging blowouts.
• Enjoy blogging and all that comes with it. Don’t compare Cafe Bebe to anyone else and worry not about what others are up to or what their motivation is. To each their own…live and let live and all that jazz.
• Attend BritMums Live! in June

That’s it. I’ve been blogging for 2 1/2 years now and have loved (almost) every moment of it. I have benefited from blogging and enjoyed a lot of perks along the way. It’s time to step back, let the new blood in and enjoy the turning wheels of time. I sincerely hope that anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis enjoys what I have to share. I hope you’ll continue to pop by and have a peek into our lives and I will continue to freelance and maintain a social media presence in all freelance areas but it’s time to take a bit of a break, personally, and enjoy the precious life we’ve built in our corner of the East Midlands.

Thank you to everyone who has tuned in this year, given support and shared their thoughts through their comments. I look forward to the new year and seeing how much things change over the coming 12 months. In the meantime I’m going to enjoy my family and get a bit of perspective. I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I’ll still be blogging the rest of the year but I want to be sure to get my holiday wishes out to everyone.

Are you making any BLOGGING resolutions? Feel free to share them…

BritMums Blogging Prompts: BESTS

Posted by cafebebemama on Oct 11, 2011 in Blogger Love, Blogging, BritMums Blogging Prompt, Motherhood | 8 comments

As the Cafe Bebe household is full-up with cold this week, I thought I’d turn to BritMums for a bit of blogging inspiration with the following Blogging Prompt: What is the BEST thing that has happened to you as a result of blogging?

Choosing just one thing is a bit tricky. Recently we had the opportunity to travel as a family, fully sponsored by lowcostholidays, to Tenerife to experience all that there was to see in the Costa Del Silencio. Ella and I were sent on a press trip to Newquay, Cornwall in June of 2010 to sample The Sands Resort and area attractions and last November we were thrilled to visit the Cotswolds as a family and later that week, Tenby, Wales for a long weekend. We’ve had some very great holiday opportunities as a family thanks to blogging.

When I began Cafe Bebe in May of 2009, a wee ad on the BritMums network (then British Mummy Bloggers) led me to throw my hat in the ring to review products for MadeForMums website, then, a new site launching that summer. I was accepted as a reviewer (God only knows why…I’d only just started my blog!) and as a result ended up trialing and reviewing over 20 pushchairs in the 2009-2010 years. I was in pushchair HEAVEN! I still have 4 pushchairs in our possession despite the fact that Ella really no longer needs or uses one. I was the pushchair queen for a lovely period of time! I miss them a bit!

I’ve also had the immense pleasure and honour of taking part in the Pampers-UNICEF campaign to eliminate Maternal and Newborn Tetanus in Africa. For the last two years (and this year as well) I’ve had the opportunity to work with brilliant bloggers and dedicated staff to lead a national campaign to get as many vaccinations as possible. It has been humbling to be able to use Cafe Bebe for good and to make a difference instead of just blabbing about our family.

I believe I’ve narrowed down the BEST thing that has happened to me as a result of blogging, however. It’s PEOPLE. I’ve met some amazing friends, learned a great deal, been taught some valuable lessons and skills and been introduced to people who have changed my life. Had I never clicked YES on starting my 1st version of Cafe Bebe, I never would have found British Mummy Bloggers and never would have been privvy to half of the things that I have received. Had I never joined BritMums, I never would have met Jen and Susanna and would never have been invited to work with them and the BritMums community. Had I never been invited to join the BritMums team I never would have had the outlet for all of the kooky and crazy ideas in my head. I would still be sitting twiddling my thumbs. But actually, I probably wouldn’t be sitting twiddling my thumbs because I would have had to go back to work after Ella was born and wouldn’t have had the opportunity to be a WAHM. See what can happen as a result of blogging?!

What is your “favourite and best” bit about blogging? Have you gained in confidence? Been given a job? Trialed some amazing products? Or just found a place where you finally belong? Link up your post on the BritMums Blogging Prompts too and find some other amazing and inspirational posts.

BritMums Prompt: My Pet Peeve

Posted by cafebebemama on Oct 5, 2011 in Blogging, BritMums Blogging Prompt, Motherhood | 9 comments

Another BritMums Prompt that happens to resonate with me: My Pet Peeve! What, me? Rant? Never!?! Hahahahahahahaha. Ooh, that’s a good one. In fact, I think I really should change the name of this blog to Cafe Rantsalot! I think I may know where I get it from but I won’t mention any names.

So this week, BritMums provided the blogosphere with two prompts. One was about social networking and the other was the Pet Peeve prompt. I am choosing the Pet Peeve prompt but my challenge is settling on ONE!

I could rant about how much I hate cold-call telemarketers. How much I hate their insane intrusion on my day. How pointless their calls are to my life. How exceptionally RUDE and NASTY I am to them when they do manage to intrude on my day. But we’ll let them slide.

I could rant about how frustrated I am with my local NHS surgery and doctors who continue to string me along with this bloomin’ kidney infection. I could rant about how no one seems to be curing me of my pain and discomfort. I could rant about the lack of communication, care or urgency of my surgery. I could rant about the fact that our 2 midwives don’t work on Wednesdays. I could rant about a lot of things that have been going on with this pregnancy and my antenatal care for the past 4+ weeks. But we’ll let them slide.

I could rant about the fact that our 30 year old oven finally died this week. I could rant about the fact that I’ve had to microwave or toast everything we’ve eaten for the last 3 days. I could rant about the fact that we’ve had to charge shell out £200 for a new oven. But I won’t because this means that I get a new oven, it’s being delivered today and I’m exceptionally impressed with the customer service of Appliances Online so I no longer feel the urge to rant about this situation. Wonder of wonders!

Instead I am going to rant about perfection. Specifically perfection in parenting. You know what really gets my goat (why goat??)? When parents pretend that they are the perfect parent, have the perfect child, feed their perfect child only natural, organic ingredients, have their children in bed by 6pm and they don’t wake until 8am and then spend the night in blissful harmony with their partners before retiring to bed for 8 hours of uninterrupted, restorative sleep. These same parents spend every non-child moment tending to the house, keeping every speck of dust at bay, never have dirty dishes or clothes laying about and have total control and organisation throughout the house. These same parents spend every child-filled moment without the telly on, dutifully creating collages, reading well above age-level, baking, painting and educating their perfectly receptive and dilligent child(ren). What a load of crap! Seriously, this can’t exist! I don’t get it! Do people really live like this is or this just a giant facade they put up to make us believe they are the perfect parent?

I much prefer our way of parenting and living. A bit of dirt (not too much mind you…I do enjoy clean), the odd plate and bowl on the counter, take-away pizza once a week, potato waffles at the ready, telly permanently tuned to Cbeebies (not on ALL of the time, mind you), independent play while Mummy blogs (what?) and loads more happiness and smiles all around.

There. I feel better now. I’m not a perfect mother. I know I could do better but I also have a very confident daughter who is capable of entertaining herself, who is ridiculously verbal and intelligent and is clean and presentable almost all of the time. Yes, our house could be cleaner. Yes, I could dust more often. Yes, I could change the bed linens every week (what?). But you know what? Our family works just fine the way it is. So thhhhpppptttt to all of you PERFECT parents. We’re happy chez Cafe Bebe…just the way we are.

Pop on over to BritMums to see some of the other brilliant bloggers who have taken on one or both blogging prompts this week.

Don’t judge me too harshly but…

Posted by cafebebemama on Sep 27, 2011 in Blogger Love, BritMums Blogging Prompt, Motherhood | 28 comments

If I wouldn’t be judged too harshly I would say…

I don’t think I want to breastfeed Bebe #2…out loud!

Those of you who have followed this blog know that I wasn’t able to breastfeed Ella. I didn’t give it near enough of a go, however, as I was just so damn desperate to get out of hospital that I gave up and gave in to formula feeding. Ella has been a healthy, delightful child and never suffered as a result so I don’t think our decision was a bad one.

However, my experience with trying to get Ella to latch on, with midwives manhandling and abusing me and Ella to get her to latch on put me off the entire thing. I have extremely negative views of breastfeeding as a result and a lot of semi-repressed hostility about it all. It’s even come to the point that I think I actually have a fear of breastfeeding.

I’m a worrier and tend to get in a kerfuffle about things like this but these are major decisions! If I take on breastfeeding and somehow manage to make it work, then its just me and the Bebe for months. Yes, I know one can express. Yes, I know breast is best. But maybe, just maybe it’s not best for me? The reason I say, “Don’t judge me too harshly” is that there is so much damn pressure on mums to breastfeed. We’re bombarded with it everywhere. It’s supposedly THE ONLY WAY. This advert does my head in:

It’s not the “Follow-On Formula” pitch that pisses me off. It’s the phrase, “Breastmilk is the best protection for your baby and nothing compares to it. If you choose to MOVE ON, we’ve created…” So, say I’ve chosen to bottle/formula feed from the get-go and I’m feeding Bebe #2 and watching a bit of telly. This ad pops on and I hear the lines above. I’ve just been told, effectively, that I have made the wrong choice by feeding my baby formula and that I should have breast fed exclusively for the first 6 months. Then, and only then, am I permitted to “move on” from breastfeeding and onto formula. This ad drives me around the bend.

Right now, I’m leaning toward a “let’s see what happens” approach with Bebe #2. We’ll give it a go, perhaps, depending on how I feel and how Bebe responds. I was given some amazing advice about “biological nurturing” from another blogger and I might just shove all the midwives away and see what Bebe is capable of. One thing is for sure, well, two things actually:

• I WILL NOT allow over-stretched, too-busy midwives to shove my breasts at my screaming baby in an attempt to get him/her to latch on. I know for a fact that this DOES NOT WORK and only STRESSES me out which doesn’t help either.
• I WILL bring ready-made formula bottles to hospital in the event that I choose to use them.

Please don’t judge me too harshly but this is the decision I have come to and I’m saying it out loud!

**This post was inspired by the BritMums Personal Blogging Prompt of the Week. What would YOU say out loud if people wouldn’t judge you too harshly?**

The best blogging advice I ever received

Posted by cafebebemama on Sep 26, 2011 in Blogging, BritMums Blogging Prompt | 16 comments

This week, BritMums has issued not ONE but TWO blogging prompts. One is a personal prompt (If I wouldn’t be judged too harshly I would say _________ out loud!) and one is a blogging prompt (The best blog advice I have ever received is_________.)

I know exactly what I would say for the personal prompt but I have to decide if I’m feeling brave enough. It very well may turn into a rant and we all know what happens when I rant!

So let’s give the blogging prompt a go: “The best blogging advice I ever received”. I’ll break it down into two mantras for you which have a lot to do with each other. Ready, steady…

Don’t worry about Stats/Rankings: If you are a remotely competitive person and have higher aspirations for your blog, steer clear of rankings and stats monitoring. There’s nothing wrong with either of them, however, if you can’t maintain a sensible head about them and find yourself in the doldrums because your blog dropped 20 rankings or your stats counter looks like a peaky mountain range, then you simply must take yourself away from that place. You will end up trying too hard, taking away too much time from your life to remedy the situation and potentially not achieve much in the end.

Moving up rankings is tricky business. It takes effort and perseverance to make sure you are ticking all of the boxes. If you can be mature about it and shrug off any slips, dips and bumps, then by all means, give it your all. If you get cross, start checking out the “competition” and spending the majority of your day online, then it’s time to back off. You will be much happier in the end and your blog will flourish as a result.

Step away from the laptop: This is actually my own advice (which I need to take more often as well) from last week’s post, Not now dear, I’m blogging. You cannot possibly blog well if you’re focusing too much on the end result. I would hazard a guess that a majority of Mummy bloggers are perfectionists and are exceptionally keen to move their blog forward. However, there are so many more important things in life, including your sanity. Turn the laptop off, set yourself parameters as to when you will blog and when you will shut down and be happy about it. It is a good thing, trust me. I’m even considering proposing a week of “Silent Blogging” where the only thing I post is a photo. No words, just images of our life/week. It might help to get the creative juices flowing in a different direction.

What is the best blogging advice you have ever received? Do you find it hard (as I do) to step away from the laptop? Could you change something about your daily/weekly blogging routine to make it more positive and healthy? I’d love to hear your advice as well!