I looked at my desk yesterday and realised that it has been at least 3+ weeks since I sat down and “worked properly” at my desk. In fact, I am slightly embarrased to admit that the 2 vases of flowers on my desk are filled not with beautiful, fragrant flowers but dried, slightly mouldy flowers from my BIRTHDAY. My birthday was on 14 November. Yes, that’s nearly 2 months that they have sat on my desk gradually adding their pollen, leaves and petals to my desk. Adding their pollen, leaves and petals to the dust and random stuff cluttering my desk. The keys on my laptop have actual DUST on them. And not just on the keys you never use! On all of the keys!
No, it’s not writer’s block. It is something far better. I have gained A LIFE. It’s that funny thing, early in my blogging career, that I used to laugh a little bit about. Older, wiser bloggers used to advise that you have to get out and live your life first in order to be able to or want to blog about it. It’s no good sitting for hours at the laptop. You’re missing out on life. I was missing out on my life. No more.
Before getting a fresh start for the year, I took pictures of my embarrassing desk. Then, I began by clearing away the dead, dried, mouldy flowers. I wiped away the dust from the desk, keyboard and screen of my laptop. I cleared away unneccessary clutter and put a few new/old pictures around my laptop. And then, as all good bloggers do, I took a picture. Yes, old habits die hard. My work space is quite lovely actually. My desk sits next to the window looking into the back garden. Perfect light, distraction and inspiration. My laptop is no longer on for 14+ hours a day. When Sam and I come home from dropping Ella at school, turning on my laptop is not my priority. That whole business about getting work done when the “baby” sleeps, yes, that is how we work now.
When I was pregnant with Sam and Ella was in preschool 3 days a week, I would return home around 9:30am, get a cuppa and my breakfast and seat myself at my laptop. For approximately 5 1/2 hours. Until 15 minutes or so before I had to pick Ella up. I spent my hours working on freelance client jobs, writing blog posts (for myself and others), fiddling with my blog and maintaining my social media channels. I didn’t worry about my house, cleaning, cooking, baking, shopping, having me time or living. I set my agenda around my freelance responsibilities. Sometimes I was making money while doing this but oftentimes I was not. Yes, I established a good reputation in social media circles. Yes, I did great work for my “clients”. Yes, I got invited to blogging events and got to travel to London at least once a month. But guess who lost HERSELF? Moi!
So, I’m stepping off the roundabout. The blogging roundabout that is. I’m not quitting blogging. I’m starting to blog for myself; for what works for me. I want to write for me, my family and friends. I don’t care if anyone reads it. Kerry taught me that what’s important is what you leave behind. It’s time for me to be more concerned about the story I am creating for our family than whether it’s PR friendly or a Top 100 of anything. I will write when I have something to share. It will be mainly about the kids and the adventures we get up to as a family. I may write about thoughts and have a whinge or two. I will probably do more video slow-cooking and will keep a toe in the waters of social media. But as for the competing, striving and social blog climbing, I’m done. It’s time to live because life is FAR too short.
Thank you for sharing this post, and a huge well done. Congratulations on realising that life is for living, not thinking about how to write about living it. I spent a lot of the start of last year juggling my full time job with DaisychainBaby and also being a voluntary director at Samaritans. I ran myself into the ground, resenting anything that took me away from DCB including my friends, home, even hubby. In the end I had to decide to leave Sams after volunteering there for 6 years as it was too much of a committment and gradually I learned how to relax again. Something is very wrong when you feel guilty for spending 2 hours watching a film once every couple of months. This year I’ve resolved to continue. The world will not stop turning if I don’t switch my laptop on as soon as I get home from work. We’ve bought a food processor so we can start cooking properly. I’m happy. X
Fab post Karin x x
Brilliant post, and such a hard balance to achieve. The sad loss of Kerry reminds us how short life is xx
Great post Karin and everything you have said is so important. I very much try and make sure I blog for me, and for memories for my little family. If I get other opportunities because of it, and of course we all want opportunities, then that’s amazing. But primarily my blog is for me to record my family life.
You have hit a big nail on it’s big head. I could not agree more and this is the process I am going through too.
Lovely post.
Kerry mainly blogged when the kids were tucked up in bed. Such a shame we had to lose her to learn what she already knew.
Another fab post from you, with your wider opened heart.
Liska xx
Good on you!
Have to say that I stepped off the roundabout almost as soon as I got on it. I’ll never be a top anything, but I didn’t care then and I’ve continued not caring. I always look at it in terms of returns – what am I getting out of it, compared to the effort I’m putting in? I think if a lot of bloggers properly weighed it up they’d slow down a bit too. Though… each to their own!
x