Mother Knows Best

When we brought Sam home from hospital, the nursery was still in disorder but we didn’t think that mattered as we had planned for Sam to sleep in Ella’s Moses basket at the end of our bed for the first few months anyway. (Never mind that 19 weeks later the nursery STILL isn’t done but I’ll talk about that another day).

We did manage to use the Moses basket a few times in the first few days of having Sam at home with us but he wasn’t overly keen to be in it. However, Sam was very keen to be held. And I was very keen to hold him. He was still in that curled up newborn state and loved to lay on us to sleep. I’ve never been one to turn away a snuggly baby so I obliged willingly.

Due to my c-section recovery and general partially-exhausted-ness (medical term!), one evening, instead of putting Sam in his Moses basket to sleep, I laid down on our bed with him to settle him. He was on his side and he simply snuggled right into me and drifted off. I curled around him, rested my head around his and we both went to sleep. For several hours. Just like that. Zonk.

I realised that the way Sam settled best and stayed asleep the longest was through co-sleeping. I worried about it. I blogged about it. I had family tell me they were worried about it. But I really felt that this was the best solution for us. Sam seemed to need me. I discussed it with Mark and if I was happy with it and we both slept, then he was happy for us to co-sleep. He was secretly hoping that we wouldn’t still be co-sleeping when Sam was 3 years old.

I took all of the precautions necessary and we co-slept at night (and often times during the day for a nap when Ella was at school) for about the first 12 weeks. I wanted to get Sam more confident to sleep without me so I began introducing the Moses basket for daytime naps and Sam seemed less fussed about being in the Moses basket. I eventually got to the stage of putting Sam down in the early evening in the Moses basket in our room and then only bringing him into the bed with us if he woke in the middle of the night. One night, about 6 weeks ago, Sam slept through the night. In the Moses basket. On his own. He didn’t need me to sleep.

I was a teeny bit sad, if I am honest. I really enjoyed co-sleeping with Sam. It was a special moment that I never had with Ella. And I believe, in our case, mother did know best. Sam needed me in those early weeks. He needed to feel secure and loved and cuddled and to be able to sleep. We both needed that, I guess. Because of those early days, Sam now sleeps confidently (albeit not always as long as we’d like) on his own. He’s still in the Moses basket at the end of our bed at 19 weeks but only because the bloomin’ nursery is still unfinished. I’ll be a bit sad when he’s in his room and not at the end of our bed but I know the next transition will be a positive one because we’ve built a strong foundation with Sam.

I’m proud of standing strong, believing in my decisions and knowing that for us, co-sleeping was the answer at that time and that Mother did know best indeed!

3 thoughts on “Mother Knows Best

  • 06/04/2012 at 3:42 pm

    I love this post so much! I’ve received a lot of ‘looks’ and thinly veiled criticism for some of my parenting methods that I now, almost as a defense mechanism, describe myself as a clingy Mum. I’m firmly against all of these ‘crying it out’ methods and have never understood why parents think it’s okay to nourish their child with food, keep them clean etc. but deprive them of their emotional needs which, let’s face it, at this age usually includes being close to your child for as much of the time as possible.

    We as mothers seem to be encouraged to go against all of our natural instincts in favour of what other people think is right for a child they’ve never met, but my Husband and I did all of our parenting on instinct and I truly believe that Sausage is a very good example of how well that works.

    Love to you and your little family xxx

  • 06/04/2012 at 4:15 pm

    Fabulous post and it explains so well how many mothers feel they are doing the right thing even though they are on the receiving end of frowns and negative comments, So very pleased it worked for you and hoping you get that nursery sorted soon
    Happy Easter x

  • 06/04/2012 at 6:36 pm

    Lovely little bundle in a beautiful little quilt. He looks so comfy.

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