But that’s not what I’m on about.
You see last night I managed to make it downstairs for the first time in several days to have dinner with Mark and Ella and then watch some telly with Mark. We were watching some news related programme talking about scrap metal dealers which led me to ask a ridiculous question of Mark and then I laughed. And laughed and laughed and laughed.
I laughed until there were tears coming out of my eyes. I laughed until my sides hurt. I laughed until I sent myself into fits of coughing (still have pneumonia and all that after all). And I laughed some more when we watched an old episode of “Never Mind the Buzzcocks”. And I laughed some more when I thought about the stupid thing I had asked earlier.
I laughed. I haven’t had that kind of laugh in a very long time indeed. I realised last night that the medication is working. I felt like running around the room punching my fists up in the air. “Take THAT PND!” But then I would have ended up in more fits of coughing so I did it in my head instead. That laugh last night was the best feeling. It means that I am getting myself back. It means that there truly is light at the end of the tunnel.
It’s the best feeling ever. I’m thinking about Ella’s birthday in 2 months and planning that in my head. I’m thinking about tackling gluten-free baking again and trying to get it right. I’m thinking about getting myself healthy and back into shape. I’m thinking about talking to my Health Visitor about my physical issues with my belly/abdominals and looking into the medical intervention I believe I may need. I’m thinking about laughing some more.
What I’ve been feeling for the last 19 weeks or so is ebbing away. I know the work is not done and there will be “days” and such but it feels so good to feel this way. Join me while (in my head) I run around the room, punching my fists up in the air. Things are most definitely looking up and I just wanted you to know…huzzah!