Giving co-sleeping a try
Sam is 2 1/2 weeks old and is a very chilled out, accomodating baby. He has fit right into our family and rolled with the punches. Granted, there haven’t been many punches as we’ve not been out of the house too much thanks to me and my house arrest but whatever we do, he rolls right with us.
One of the joys of having a newborn is taking advantage of those newborn cuddle opportunities. Sam simply adores being held. After a bottle he will now stay awake for a teeny bit and then, snuggled on my chest (or hubby’s) will happily doze for 2+ hours. I am able to transfer him, usually, to his pushchair for a bit of free time and he will often sleep there for 30-45 minutes which allows me to get a few things done. But ultimately, where Sam wants to be is with his Mummy or his Daddy. Take that Gina Ford!
I know that these moments will be few and far between in a short time so, as Sam will be our last child, I don’t want to miss out. Plus, due to my c-section recovery, taking advantage of holding Sam and catching cat-naps is just what the doctor ordered. Now, thanks to this routine, Sam just is not overly keen on sleeping on his own, particularly at night. We’ve had the Moses basket in our room (and the Xplory seat on the Moses basket frame) but it’s a bit too OPEN a space for Sam. He settles momentarily and then whammo, is awake and wanting to be held. This means that Mummy gets maybe 20 minutes of sleep at a time. This makes Mummy unhappy, grouchy and unneccessarily emotional. This is not good for the family.
So, we are giving co-sleeping a try! I never thought I would be sharing a bed with my baby (yes, I know all of the risks and dangers and rest assured, we are taking all precautions) but what ends up happening when Sam sleeps with us (well, really, with me) is that Sam sleeps. This means that Mummy sleeps. This is a very good thing indeed. Sam sleeps right next to me, cuddled right into me and is out. We usually get a 3 hour sleep for the first part of the night, wake for a bottle and then often get a 4-5 hour sleep for the 2nd part of the night. 7:30am is now our usual waking time. This is a very good thing. For everyone.
Many people might not understand co-sleeping. I considered it something that only “Earth Mothers” would do and I most definitely am not an Earth Mother. But, we are following a Sam-Centered approach and this is what works for Sam. It’s quite different to what worked for Ella. Ella settled pretty well into her Moses Basket, stayed there for the first 4 weeks and then transitioned to her cot. We occasionally brought her into bed with us (and still do) but did not co-sleep. My intention is not necessarily to be co-sleeping for months or years but to gradually transition Sam to his cot/crib for daytime naps (when we actually get it set up!) and then to reclaim our bed. I love having Sam near me. It works for both of us. We aren’t breastfeeding so some might think that it’s pointless but I find that Sam’s sleep is much better when we sleep together. That makes me happy and it makes Sam happy. Happy baby = Happy Mummy = Happy Family. Sorted.
What do you think to co-sleeping? Do you do it? Would you do it? What have you done differently from first to second child? I’d love to hear your stories.
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we also co-slept for a while and it was fab! I have a book called Three in a a Bed which tells you why co-sleeping is very good for them. apparently much less risk of sudden cot death amongst other things. I’m happy to post it to you if you might find it useful. kisses to Sam
I didn’t know the term co-sleeping when I had Dexter earlier this year. But much like Sam, he wouldn’t settle in his moses basket, so he slept with me every night. But now he is 10 months old, and he STILL sleeps with me. Despite my best efforts to get him to transition into his own bed, he refuses to do it.
Nowadays, the only way to get him to sleep is for me to nurse him while we watch TV quietly. Once he’s asleep, I can usually put him into his crib, where he will stay for about 3 hours (just about the time we are going to bed). Then he will wake up, start screaming, and we’ll have to bring him into bed. After an hour or so, Mark MIGHT try to put him back in his crib, but he won’t stay there long. We average about 3 times a night bringing him in to bed before giving up and just letting him stay.
While I love the closeness, unfortunately I get very little sleep. He’s very heavy, tosses and turns all night, and is constantly trying to roll off the bed. My back, shoulders and arms are sore at all times now from our nightly struggles.
I’m pretty sure that if we are blessed with another baby, I’m going to persevere to get him sleeping in his crib from the get go.
I do wonder how other women manage it without issue. The first few months were fine, but by the time he started getting more mobile at night, he was already hooked on sleeping with mama. And now I am at a loss as to how to get him to sleep in his room.
I hope your experience is better than mine!
Hi Karin,
I’ve got mixed emotions on co-sleeping. On one hand my company is a corporate sponsor to FSID and Co-Sleeping is a no-no.
On the other hand like you say you have to do what is right for the family, and every family is different so if it works for you, you know the risks and you take the right precautions then it’s no-one elses place to judge.
I co-slept with my son when he was a ickle baba and those cuddle times were lush!
Our next baby is due July 2012 and we’ll see what works for us and our baby at the time xx
p.s – if you click my name you’ll see a little mention of you and Sam I posted a few weeks ago
xx
I love cosleeping! We’ve been doing it since Ethan was 4weeks old. He just hated his Moses basket . Is it too cold baby? Let mummy warm it with a hot water bottle before putting you in. No? Oh is is too flat? Let mama tilt it with a book or two. No? Oh dear. Come on on my chest then. And before we knew it he was too heavy to go on my chest . We had to buy a super kingsize once we realised we liked him in our bed. Everyone gets sleep.
I have co-slept with all of my last three children. Freddy is still in our bed at night but I know from experience it won’t last forever. It worked for our family, allowing us all to get sleep without the disruption of a crying baby. I love the closeness, knowing that Fred is safe and warm with us, until he is ready to go into his own room.
I also co slept more with my first than second but I loved every second of it and we slept so much. In the early days I even co slept with my first upstairs for a 2 hour nap!! Lucky me
Enjoy Hannah x
I really think that you have to do what’s right for you and yours. Co-sleeping just wouldn’t work for us because we are all light sleepers and we’d wake each other up. In fact the reason we moved the little guy into his own room was because my hubby’s sleep talking was disturbing him.
But I think as long as you go into it with your eyes open to the possible difficulties you may have later, I don’t see what the problem is. For every baby who struggles with the transition to their own room, there is another who moves like a dream. You can’t know what it’ll be like til you get to that point, so I say do what works right now.
xx
I think it’s one of those ‘whatever’s right for you’ things. Some people are very pro co-sleeping and others against it. Whatever suits you best is my thought.
Sleep is good! Lovely to hear how you are getting on xxx
If Sam likes it and sleeps then co-sleeping is the thing for you. I think it is quite a natural thing to do. I did with my two and well look at them now
The picture of Sam asleep on his Dad made me feel very broody, oh I loved those moments.xxxx
You have to do what works for you. My sister-in-law did it with her first child ( a girl) but not with her second (a boy) because her daughter (aged 3) got jealous. I think the closeness is lovely but do keep an eye on how Ella reacts. Not being a party-pooper at all, just flagging up the issues my brother and his wife had. xx
We are a family of co-sleepers! Doesn’t always guarantee the best night’s sleep, but nothing beats waking up in the morning with a little hand in mine (or, more likely, an arm flung across my face!)
When I told some friends we slept with baby in our bed, they were horrified, and told us we were being selfish and putting his life at risk. I was a new mum, and reacted with embarrassed silence. I wish I knew then what I know now – that there is a big difference between safe co-sleeping and unsafe co-sleeping. If it’s done the right way (i.e. when nobody is drunk, under the influence of drugs, etc) it can be wonderful for mum and baby.
Hope you’re enjoying your lovely little newborn boy!
xx
I didn’t really think about cosleeping at all with my first child, but we just sort of fell into doing it as we weren’t getting any sleep otherwise – sounds a lot like you’ve just described with Sam.
For Bubby D, I decided to cut straight to the cosleeping and not even bother attempting a moses basket. Instead we have a cosleeping crib that attaches to the bed so I don’t worry about her rolling out or being squashed. Its been so much better. Having read more research about it too, I really think its much better for babies as well. I just wish I’d known about it first time round and saved myself three or four months of sleep deprivation!
I have to say that, based on my experience of second children, you take it where you can get it. You don’t have the luxury of going back to bed like you did with your first newborn, so if co-sleeping gets you more sleep, do it. I did.
Alex loved sleeping on me, specially after boob time. It got me depressed and I couldn’t sleep as constant fear of hurting him and I can’t sleep on my back, I always roll. We took action which our GP and Midwife agreed was fine and just made him settle in his basket. Yes he cried a bit but we found ways around it. First we tilted the stand so top end was higher up and then gave him a muslin that smelt of me. He got use to this almost instantly and now… He sleeps without any trouble in his own room and own cot. Hurray!
We co-sleep with Chubs and also co-slept with Boo until I stopped breastfeeding. He has slept in his own bed every since. Took a couple of nights putting him down then going back in after 3 mins then 6 etc but now he won’t even entertain the thought of sharing our bed so it doesn’t necessarily cause problems later on. Chubs is 8 months and as I’m still bf he will still be in our room but we are trying to get him used to settling himself as we’d like some space at night now. I read there are Asian Cultures who co-sleep and don’t have a word for SIDS as it’s so rare (not sure how true it is tho)
In these first days, if you know a way to get sleep then get it. Especially when you already have a child. Co-sleeping is more common than people like to admit and it is lovely snuggling together