Finding my New Normal
Whew! I’m knackered! Being a mother to two is a lot harder than I anticipated. In fairness, I didn’t know what to anticipate, really. I thought life would carry on just as it had been. In some ways it has but in many ways it has changed dramatically.
We are starting to find our rhythm with regards to going out with TWO instead of ONE. I thank God for the fact that Ella is 3 1/2 because we don’t have to worry about carrying too much for her. We don’t need a change of clothes (or seven), nappies, dummies, pushchairs or blankets. She usually sorts out what she’s bringing (one of her 87 handbags and/or Baby Annabell or another stuffed toy of some sort) so we don’t have to sort much for her. But we are back to preparing a changing bag for every eventuality, forward-thinking to how many bottles/formula we will need and packing that and finally loading Sam into his car seat. Obviously, for those of you who’ve done it, this can take an hour or more. I did some serious foot-stomping yesterday when we were trying to leave the house to be somewhere for 11am. We ended up leaving the house at 11:20 and getting there just after 11:30. I HATE being late.
Next week will be the return to whatever “normal” is going to be. Mark will be going back to work on Tuesday, Ella will be going to school on Wednesday. It’s time to get out of the “I just had a baby” mode and get on with living. I need to start getting myself back into shape (gentle to start mind you…a walk around the village will be the first step), I need to get back to blogging and my freelance/social media work as well. BritMums needs me! Well, I’d like to think so anyway!
Physically, I feel that I am 1/3 of the way back to normal. I’m 5 weeks post-delivery and have made some good progress but also still feel quite odd in my lower-abdominal area. I’m going to the GP to see what’s what today. My fitness level is no where near where I would like it to be but I plan on “slow and steady wins the race”. I’m still living in leggings and loose tops/fleece sweatshirts. Who knows when this fashion faux pas will end?
Mentally I’m still in a bit of a fog. Blogging and social media aren’t even in the “back seat” at the moment…they’re in the boot! Nothing else seems quite as important as my boy and my girl and my hubby. I need to get back in the saddle though and hopefully find a new motivation for blogging besides my lovely family. If you’d like to see more of anything (or less), please let me know!
Emotionally, I have stopped crying at the drop of a hat. I have found, however, that my patience level is much lower. I get frustrated easily and don’t always cope well with that frustration. I’m hoping that by getting back into a “schedule” this will get better. I need to get Sam’s nursery sorted ONCE AND FOR ALL so that we can start to transition into it. As much as I have loved co-sleeping, and we have slept better for it, I feel that it is time to encourage a bit of independence in Sam. Independence from ME as I am the one who tends to virtually EVERYTHING. I love tending to virtually everything but that also has meant that I get virtually no time for me and Sam can’t settle very well without me. We’re going to work on this…any suggestions are more than welcome.
So, Cafe Bebe is open for suggestion and advice. Finding my new normal may be tricky…I need all the help I can get.
Sounds like you are doing brilliantly. Those first three months are the hardest with a new baby. I think the lowered patience level is through tiredness.
Glad yore enjoying being in your new family. Blogging and everything else can wait.
Hey honey, give yourself a break I think you are doing great. Having a baby is hard work and also having a toddler is too. Take it slow and remember we all love you xx
You know everyone said what a change having a baby would make but I think the transition from 1 to 2 is almost worse. Yes the work doubles but more than that the mind work doubles, the constant worrying and organising of yet another person can really be tiring. And there’s never any time off for either of you – it’s one each now! It gets better, it really does. The sleep thing will make a huge difference too… and he’s young enough to learn quickly! I loved the baby whisperer 4 hour routine (loosely adapted to YOUR life) – eat, activity, sleep and then YOU time!
Good luck and the good news adjusting from 2 to 3 is much easier!!!
xx
Don’t underestimate how hard it is Karin, I can remember really struggling moving from one to two. Who took priority – the one that needs fed or the one that needs their bottom wiped? How can you feed and read a story at the same time? Do they discuss in advance so that they tag-team throughout the night? Will it EVER get easier?!
And it WILL – I promise you. You will be doing a wonderful job, just wonderful, make sure you get Mark to tell you that every single day at the moment. Or write it on a post it on the fridge.
Go easy, don’t ry and do too much – I always think just one thing a day (and that one thing can be getting dressed).
Big love, Caroline X
Cripes! You are doing fine. There is no normal at this stage, and the mere fact that you can even contemplate leaving the house clothed before 1pm means you are sorted – for now! It will get easier, and you will be able to do it all and more. You will surprise yourself. But not yet….