Yes, I want a c-section and No, I’m not too posh to push
Approximately 8 1/2 months ago we found out that instead of remaining a family of three, we were to become a family of FOUR before 2011 was done. Bebe wasn’t entirely planned but it was a more than welcome happening. Now, at 36 weeks pregnant, we only have 3-4 more weeks to wait to meet Bebe and introduce him or her to our family and the blogosphere. Oh and have our lives turned upside-down once again.
When our pregnancy was confirmed through two Morrisons-own pregnancy tests and eventually, a booking in appointment and scan at 11 1/2 weeks, I began to think about the delivery. Yes, I know, I have an over-active imagination and tend to worry. So sue me. I have written a post, Labour & Delivery- My Choice, about our first delivery experience with Ella. It was not a pleasant one and definitely is not something I want to repeat. As a result of our somewhat traumatic first delivery experience, I knew what I wanted for our 2nd delivery. Yes, I want a c-section and no, I’m not “too posh to push.”
There are new NICE guidelines regarding women, c-sections, the NHS and rights. I would like to preface my situation with the fact that I do have several risk factors that are working against a natural delivery for Bebe. First of all, I am 40 (41 next week) which is not really a MEDICAL risk factor but puts me in a category that is immediately referred for consultant care. I also have asthma which is managed very well by daily medication. The two largest risk factors, however, that are making my case for c-section more favourable are the fact that I have had a c-section with Ella’s birth (emergency) and I currently have a low-lying placenta which, if still in the same place at tomorrow’s scan and consultant appointment, immediately puts me into the “medical necessity” category.
So there we have it. I have some risk factors that have brought forth the discussion with the consultant regarding Bebe’s delivery. I met with the consultant way back at 17 weeks as I had been referred to her due to my risk factors. At our meeting nearly 20 weeks ago, her primary goal was to convince me to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarian) as was to be expected. I listened to her but then stated my case. Not only do I have several risk factors but I have some real post-traumatic issues which are still unresolved regarding Ella’s delivery. Our delivery experience was horrid and physically damaging to me ultimately but never had any effect on my bonding with Ella. What I was able to communicate to the consultant was that I wanted to have a positive birth experience that I was fully in control of, that I was fully aware of the risks of a repeat c-section and the recovery period for major abdominal surgery. I was also very aware of the desire for the NHS to keep natural birth rates high and discourage c-sections.
The consultant listened to me, took into account my risk factors and medical details of my first delivery and agreed that, yes, I presented a fairly strong case for a repeat (elective) c-section. This was noted in my maternity notes. There was no date agreed upon but an appointment was made for 36 weeks to discuss the options. This is what we will be attending today. The definitive decision about our delivery for Bebe. What has changed since week 17 is the currently low-lying placenta which may or may not have moved. We will find this out immediately before our appointment.
I have had many people question WHY I would WANT to have a c-section. I can assure you that I am not too “posh” to push but yes, I do have fears about my body’s ability to birth a baby in the “natural” way. To tell you the honest to goodness truth, I’m not entirely sure that I was made to BIRTH babies. I provide a wonderful home for my babies but I seem not to be able to get them out in the usual way. I also have fears about the c-section but I have more faith in the medical profession and a c-section than I do in nature. I know it’s major abdominal surgery. I know any number of things could go wrong. I know my recovery will be slower and longer. I know it’s not going to be easy or pleasant but it’s what I want, what I believe will be best for me and for Bebe and what I feel will be the safest solution for both of us.
So yes, I want a c-section and no, I’m not too posh to push. Today, when we meet with the consultant, I will be talking to her about scheduling a delivery date for Bebe, asking what the c-section will be like (hopefully MUCH different to the emergency c-section we had 3 1/2 years ago) and feeling more confident that this is the right decision for both Bebe and Mummy. I’ve been given some amazing information about “natural c-section” from my friend Luschka at Diary of a First Child and I hope and dream that this will be possible for us. I’ll let you know how it goes!
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Good luck today – and e strong. I hope they are supportive and understand your reasoning x
As long as you feel happy then surely that will make for a better birth. My two were born ‘naturally’ I count my self lucky as just the world surgery sends me into a paled state.
It’s not really how they come out in the world it that they have. I see your reasoning and it makes sense to me.
The ‘too posh to push’ brigade thing doesn’t though!
Looking forward to little Bebe arrival, my first blog birth xxxx
Will be thinking of you!
Best of luck today. Will be keeping my fingers (and legs) crossed for you.
best of luck – as someone who has 3 sections – the first a knock out emergency one – I really hope that they listen to you and make it as easy as possible for you. A healthy baby and healthy mummy is the main objective here, in my experience just speak with authority, firmness and intelligence and let them understand you have given this a lot of thought. Im sure it will be absolutely fine x
I echo all that has already been said! Knowing the trauma friends and fam have gone thru 2nd time round, having had traumatic births resulting in emergency c-sections 1st time round. I think you should stick to your guns, if that’s what you want! It’s a known quantity, so you can feel more in control and prepared for it. The NHS has rules, guidlines and stats to worry about. But you are an individual and should be treated as such! Hope it goes well today, and when the day comes, the birth is as calm and uncomplicated as it can be! A happy mummy=a happy baby (or something!).
Best of luck today Karin – I’ll be thinking of you and hope you get what you want….you need to be happy and that’s the important factor here x
I totally support your right to choose what delivery you want! My first delivery was a horrid experience and a total catelogue of errors mostly due to poorly trained staff and my silly body that just did not want to cooperate!
With eminent arrival of number and being 9 days overdue I was finally booked in for a c-section my choice! However at the last minute after an examination to make sure all was OK, i changed my mind – being 3-4cm dilated and fully effaced!
12 hours later and my little man arrived NATURALLY!
Ok with an epidural but that’s still natural!
I did not think I would be able to do it or go through it all again BUT i had the most amazing and supportive staff who encouraged but did not bully me at all! (what a difference a change of hospital made!!!!).
For me the thing that changed my mind was it was my last chance to try and see if my body could do it! There would never be another pregnancy where I had the choice to go natural if I’d had another c-section!
And lo and behold another year later I had another succesful (3 hour total labour) delivery was my BIG baby girl (9lb 3oz).
Whatever your choice make sure it’s the right one for you, not made out of fear but well thought through and every outcome considered!
The best part about the natural delivery for me… the 6 hour after labour discharge home to actually sleep – in my own bed!!!
Fingers crossed you get the result you want!
PS sorry such a story – maybe I should right my birth story for the meme that’s happening instead!
Good luck. I hope it goes well. xx
Karin, I assure you that as a human woman, you were made to ‘birth babies’! I’m not saying this to persuade you to try for a VBAC, or to pass any judgement about your desire for a c-section, but to give you a bit of a boost and some confidence in case your consultant won’t agree to an elective section. But I hope that you get the result that you want. x
I was in a similar situation to you when having my second son. I had an emergency C section on my first and was worried throughout my second pregnancy that similar problems would arise again. My midwife was more than keen for me to deliver naturally, but my consultant was fantastic and supported our decision to have an elective C section.
I was left very traumatized after my first son was born to the extent I wasn’t sure I would ever want another baby. Luckily, I had a fantastic doctor who raised the question of electives with me before I was even pregnant. I went on to have 2 electives and both were wonderful, positive experiences for both me and my family. Good luck Karin
I think that second deliveries are often more stressful than first if anything. I know the experience of my first labour and birth had a negative impact on my second, and retrospectively, I feel that if I had felt more in control second time around things would have been better for all of us. Well done for sticking to your guns and trying for the birth you feel you need.
I am writing up my birth stories and would love for you to be involved, if you feel like linking up your original next week
Same here – there’s no way I would ever go through what I have gone through the first time around. Most likely, little L and me would have died during delivery. Like you, I think I am not made out for popping out babies. And if there will be a second one, I won’t even consider the whole natural birth thing. It’s c-section or nothing, and it’s completely my choice. Period.