Am I insane to think life won’t change much?
As you know, we are expecting Bebe in about 4-5 weeks now. We’ve been a very happy family of three for nearly 3 1/2 years now. Life is pretty darn good when you get right down to it.
We have a house (yes it could be cleaner and shinier and prettier…we’re working on that), we have food in the refrigerator, we have a diswasher and washing machine. We have heat and comfort in our home.
We have two cars (one is Hubby’s company car) and the ability to afford MOT, Tax and Insurance. We have luxuries and comforts and are quite satisfied with life in general.
We have a gorgeous daughter who brightens our every day. She is bright and clever, stubborn and strong-willed and learning new things all of the time. Ella is kind and sensitive, loud and energetic. She is learning how to spell her name and can tell anyone where she lives even down to the house number. We are very proud of her newfound independence and ability to be trusted when out and about. She’s growing up into quite the young lady.
We have been blessed with Bebe. We didn’t necessarily plan to get pregnant but we weren’t NOT planning to get pregnant. We are thrilled to be adding one more member to our family and simply look forward to the moment, 4-5 weeks from now, when Bebe makes his or her appearance and we find out exactly which one he or she is. This has not been the easiest of pregnancies but it most certainly hasn’t been what some women go through. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
But I think I may be insane! I seem to have it in my head that our life won’t change very much. We’ll just carry on, albeit with one more person involved. I keep forgetting that in 4-5 weeks I’ll be faced with (hopefully) a c-section recovery, a bruised and battered physical self and an emotional, exhausted psyche. I won’t be able to drive for at LEAST 4 weeks which means I will have to rely on friends and family and probably online grocery delivery which I have yet to master.
We aren’t 100% sure what method of feeding we will be choosing for Bebe but that will obviously impact on our “out and about-ness” either way. When Bebe arrives it will be the end of November/beginning of December. I have no Christmas shopping done. Family will begin arriving for the holidays and to welcome Bebe by the 2nd week of December.
I have a freelance blogging “career” that I seem to think will just carry on as always. Yes, Ella will still be in preschool every T/W/Th from 9:15-3:15 so that will help. Will I be able to uphold my Social Media Maven title, keep Cafe Bebe rolling smoothly and do everything I want to do in the virtual world?
I seem to think I can! Am I insane to think that life won’t change much? Am I daft to think that Bebe will just roll with whatever we’re doing? Should I make plans to cut back? Should I take a “maternity leave” or just carry on carrying on? I need a slap in the face or at the very least, advice from others mums out there who have managed to keep all of the balls in the air when Bebe number two (three, four…) arrived. Is it possible to keep life on an even keel? Help me out here!
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Hello! This is such an exciting time, about 5 months ago I was where you are and I think I felt the same way, I was expecting my 3rd baby and thought life would continue as it had and there wouldn’t be that many changes by having one more. However, I was slightly mistaken. My first two were 10 years apart and having a baby and an older child was very different to having a baby and a toddler. Everything is more difficult, leaving the house is more difficult, sharing my attention is more difficult. It is all more wonderful too though and worth the extra work and less less sleep.
I think you will find it slightly easier as your daughter is that little bit older than my toddler was (he was only 20 months when the baby was born), I think you will be able to continue doing the things you want to, especially with your daughter being at nursery. It might mean fitting it in a bit more and working round a baby but you’ll manage and you’ll enjoy it because that’s what you do. I have found I’ve just got on with it and have already forgotten what it was like before.
Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, make the most of it just being your little girl for a while longer.
Corinne x (@MotherScuffer)
A practical suggestion: have a couple of practice runs with the online grocery shopping
I had an emergency c-section and was very glad that I’d had a practice go at using Ocado before the birth.
If you’ve done it once, you’ll already have your favourite things listed in your previous order and that makes your next order much quicker and easier to do
Also Ocado (and the other big online grocery stores) do sell some things that make good Christmas presents, and that can save effort compared to walking round the shops.
You can also encourage friends and family members to set up Amazon wishlists (if they haven’t already) as that way you can ensure you’re choosing a present they actually want.
No your not insane, yes life changes a bit but not as bigger change as when you have baby one so you managed then so this will be a piece of cake.
Enjoy it, I love having two children x
Yes I agree with Ruth the online supermarket shop is a great and wonderful thing with one, two or more children
So excited for you x
We are all very excited about the impending arrival of bebe and you really don’t have anything to worry about!
I found the transition from 1 to 2 very easy as you are far more relaxed 2nd time round and know what to expect. Take each day as it comes and if you can try and restrict visitors as much as possible. A pre-worked out word or phrase with hubby could be a way of getting rid of visitors that have over stayed their welcome!
As for online shopping do give it a go! I relied on it last year over Christmas and beyond and all of them offer incentives on your first few shops too. Make sure you book your slots early though for Christmas!! My favourites were Sainsbury and Tesco!
As for taking a break from blogging just see how it goes. I found twitter kept me going and I’d read blogs etc on my phone during night feeds! If you get a chance to blog then why not – it’s easy to do it from a phone now!
My only advice would be that Ella will need more attention now Bebe’s arrival is imminent. Isaac was 3 1/2 when Eliza was born and turned into a jealous monster! He still has his moments now so can highly recommend lots of cuddles with mummy and daddy! Most visitors who have children will already know to make a fuss of the new Big Sister but others may need a nudge!
It’s also good for a very clever baby to bring her big sister a present!
Good luck, you will be fine!
Kara x x x (mum of 5)
I forgot to add, do your Christmas shopping online too. You can get some real bargains if you know what you want to buy – I have saved so much money by doing mine online!
Don’t forget you can get Nectar points on Amazon and eBay etc – I have saved almost £100 of nectar points this year by doing that, which will be spent on Christmas pressie and treats this year!
I’m sure things won’t quite carry on as normal but I’m sure they’ll get back there quickly. I found everything settled down much more quickly after T was born that after E as I knew what I was doing so having a little baby wasn’t quite so daunting. It sounds like Ella will be able to be really involved and helpful as well which will make the whole experience really special for you all. My advice would be give yourself 2 weeks with absolutely nothing planned and then see what you want to do after that.
Yes and No. It will be harder as you learn new routines and have to get use to feeling tired again, but then it will get better as you realise that this isn’t as bad as everyone says it will be.
Just remember that if you need to you can ask others to help out. A guest post or two to help Cafebebe tick along whilst you do something you need… like sleep!
When I read this I was reminded of myself before boy three arrived two and a half years ago. He was not going to make much difference, freelance career would continue, etc, etc. The bigger boys were then seven and nine.
Wrong.
I was knocked for six by the new arrival. I’d forgotten how they don’t do what you want them to when you want them to. Plus mine had colic! It’s probably quite important to cut yourself some slack and don’t let those around you think that it’ll be business as usual either.
That said, you’ll probably breeze it!
Honestly I think you need to consider at least taking things a bit slower – the last thing you want to do is let people down professionally
I found the leap from 1 to 2 really tough – not only was there the new high needs baby to get used to (am sure yours won’t be so hard work) but Bigger also got much more needy in the 6 weeks after the baby arrived and downtime was spent looking after her. Admittedly my gap was much smaller at 18 months
I would consider taking a month off and telling people about that now so they are prepared and then having a plan to get back into it after that – if it’s going great do more, if not then keep it ticking over.
And get a sling- a stretchy wrap for preference, so you can at least do things with LM whilst carrying baby and nurturing them – you need extra hands and it’ll make a HUGE difference (a stretchy wrap can be tied so that it’s not going to impact your c-section scar)
I’m sure you will do very well managing Ella and baby and work !
It’ll break you in gently!
The first few months baby may need a lot of feeding but will sleep lots too
Any twinges yet and do you plan on tweeting through labour ?!
In my experience it is as hard or easy as you make it. Yes you will be up at night etc but then if you take the approach that Ella might remember being ignored and the new baby wont, then I dont think you can go far wrong. You might want to slow down a bit though!
A couple of other things to add to what’s already been said, 1st just take a couple of mins to remember what having a new born is like – no concept of night and day etc. Ok! Then start to make Ella to wait for things/you now, so she doesn’t make the connection to that with new bebe, and get resentful. Now, remember that you are not superwoman! You can’t do everything perfectly all the time. So pace yourself, be realistic and celebrate your successes and achievements each day, rather than what you could have or should have done! Can’t wait to Reading about all your trials and tribulations! So many memories from when ours were little!
There has been some great comments so far, so add that to the fact that I only have one there’s not much for me to add, just wanted to say I’m sure it will be hard at times but it will all work out in the end. I’m sure it won’t take you long to get into a new routine and at least you’ve already done it once so it will seem easier in some ways I would imagine. Good luck with it all and I can;t wait for all the bebe updates
IT all depends on the temperament of the baby really. I have had 5 babies all very different personalities. I launched a website for teachers and started a small business within weeks of number 4 being born as we really needed the extra income to pay the mortgage so was very driven – she was also a very placid baby and I did everything with her sleeping on my shoulder from talking to companies to writing stuff for the website – my fifth baby has only just now after 18 months started to get some independence so I can get on with blogging and potentially earning again. Babies 1 and 2 I was teaching and baby 3 I knitted at night and sold my baby range to shops – so it can be done – it’s just easier with some babies than others – fingers crossed you get a contented one . All the best x