Love Lost
I’ve been putting off writing this post but then last week I saw the theme for this week’s Gallery: Love. The very first thing that popped into my head was our dog, Sinjin. We had to have Sinjin put to sleep 2 weeks ago now. Sinjin was 14 years old and had lived a pretty exceptional life. The end was devastating for us. I never knew I had so many tears but he was at peace and not in pain and we were there for him through the end.
Sinjin was born on September 5, 1996. I know this because I saw him on the day he was born, although I didn’t know which one he was at the time. I was friends with the family who owned his Mom and Dad. They told me their black lab was expecting and I called dibs on one of the puppies. I was living in an apartment at the time and couldn’t have dogs but I didn’t care. He was going to be mine. They called me the day the litter arrived and I went over that evening to stare at the teeny black bundles.
Every week after that I went to visit and play with the puppies trying to decide which one I would have. I knew I wanted a boy and half of the litter were boys so I had good choice. When the puppies ran out to greet me each time, one puppy, the runt of the litter, always got tumbled in the excitement. I would pick him up, hold him next to me and cuddle him which the other puppies scampered about. As each week went on, I knew I couldn’t leave him behind no matter if he was the runt!
Week seven came and it was time to take him home. I had chosen the name Sinjin. I was a BIG follower of Men’s Pro Beach Volleyball at the time and there was a player called Sinjin Smith. I thought the name was original and different and would suit him. It did. I collected Sinjin that evening and the owners gave me a small cardboard box to transport him home in. The minute the car started up Sinjin began to howl and cry. As I was driving I reaching into the box, scooped him up and cuddled him to me. He scrambled up to my neck and snuggled in. He was safe. He was home.
Sinjin went everywhere with me. He moved across the country and from place to place without trouble. He was such a good boy. His only failing was that he had massive separation anxiety. He was a people dog. All he wanted to do was be around people. And fetch. Sinjin, on his last day on this earth, would have still attempted to chase after a ball.
When I moved to the UK in June of 2005, Sinjin stayed in the US with my Mom. We began the process of getting him over here through the PETS scheme. Following the proper guidelines allowed him to effectively serve a quarrantine in the US before flying over here. In May 2006, Sinjin was packed up, thanks to my Mom, and flown to Gatwick airport. After a slight kerfuffle with paperwork and vaccinations, we were finally permitted to take Sinjin out of Gatwick airport and bring him home with us. It was a very happy day indeed. For all of us! Sinjin has travelled more than a lot of Americans!
One of my husband’s greatest sadness over the passing of Sinjin is that he only had 4 years with him. That broke my heart. Mark thought of Sinjin as his boy. And now he’s gone. This has been just about as hard for Mark as it has been for me. We had some wonderful adventures with Sinjin as a family over the last 4 years and his absence is very noticeable. In the days immediately following his death, when the house was quiet and Little Miss was sleeping, I missed him terribly. Even though he was sleeping 98% of the time he was still there; curled up in a little ball. I miss him.
Sinjin was amazingly good with Little Miss and all that came with her. He had been the centre of my life for 12 years when she arrived, yet despite the definite lack of attention he never once showed it. He loved her and just wanted to be around us. Little Miss could fall on him and trip over him and he never made a peep. Towards the end of his life, Little Miss wanted to play more with him but he just couldn’t do it. They were fast friends and I know she misses him even though she doesn’t fully understand where “Sinji” has gone. We’ll definitely get another dog (probably sooner rather than later) as we want Little Miss to have a dog around and we miss having a dog so much. It’s easier, for sure, to not have to deal with a dog. But it’s no where near as fun!
This photo was taken on the day we had Sinjin put to sleep. It was a horrendous day. The sun was shining and it was horribly cold. There was no snow on the ground, thankfully. We took Sinjin and Little Miss over to the inlaws and then took Sinjin on to the vet. There were no real options other than having him put to sleep. I signed the consent form and we prepared for it. Mark and I held him and cuddled him until the end. We wanted to take him home with us to bury him at my inlaws. He found so much pleasure in being at their house. They have acres to explore and he would often go walkabout getting into God knows what!
In the fading light of day, Mark dug a grave under a beautiful tree and we laid Sinjin to rest. It still brings tears to my eyes. My boy. My constant for the last 14 years is gone. I was there the day he was born and I was there the day he died. I miss him so much. This will be our first Christmas without Sinjin in our lives. It won’t quite be the same.
Goodbye old friend. We’ll never forget you!
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I am so so sorry for your loss. Pets are such a huge part of our lives, and leave a big hole when they are gone. He clearly had a wonderful life with you and was loved very very much. I hope that the pain eases with time, and that you can find a similar love with your next dog. Big hugs x
Oh Karin, I am crying for you. Your lovely boy. Sending you lots of love. xxx
oh Karin, that is such a heartfelt story, I’ve shed tears reading the entire post… What an amazing bond you shared with sinjin..
Thank you for sharing his life with us…
Xxx
Tiddlyompompom, Rachael and Natalie- Thank you so much. It is easier each day but today, writing the post, it comes flooding back a bit! Thanks for your support. We do miss him terribly but have loads of wonderful memories as well.
K
Oh Karin, an utterly heartbreaking post but such a generous and beautiful tribute to your beautiful Sinjin!
I hope that you are able to get some peace and remember the good times rather than those last sad moments.
Big hugs to you all.
I think that was beautiful and I’m so sorry for your loss of Sinjin. I too lost my lovely Tyson (a rottweiler but a real softie) a few years back and he still lives in my heart today, actually he always will, an unforgettable, loyal and loveable dog. Big hugs Karin xx
Oh that has made me cry! It’s horrible loosing a pet because it is the loss of a best friend aswell. I will never forget our family dog and the horrible way she died many years ago – that memory still brings tears to my eyes.
So many wonderful memories you have of Sinjin which must help.
Sending you hugs
Merry Christmasxxx
What a gorgeous dog – Labs are so sociable, Mr’s family had one and he could sense if I was sad and come and give me a snuggle. Sorry for your loss x
What a beautiful lab. He lived a good life with you guys and he’s so so gorgeous.
So sorry for your loss. I remember losing my family dog a couple of years ago and I was heartbroken. Keep hold of all the fantastic memories
Merry Christmas x
So sad, but he obviously had a wonderful life with you and your family. Pets can be so special.
I have tears in my eyes. What a beautiful, heartfelt post. What joy to have such wonderful memories of your ‘lovely boy’.
best wishes to you. My very old and very loved cat died this time last year. It was terrible how empty the house felt.
best wishes to you xx
I totally understand – we lost our lovely family dog a few years ago when we moved back from the US and there is a definite mongrel shaped hole in our lives. He was a gorgeous old smelly thing too and I still miss him.
Much love and waggly tailed kisses
Anna
Crying massive fat real tears for you Karin. Wasn’t going to read this post as had an inkling what it was about and having had to put two previous family dogs down (both black labs) and now the owner of Lenny our family lab I knew I would cry for you. And I am. Nothing can make you feel better. Only time will make it easier. xxx
Oh goodness this post made me cry from the first photo! I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my doggy ‘sister’ Sadie three years ago in January and we all still miss her so much. Pets touch your soul and there is nothing like it. At least the memories will last forever
x
So sorry to hear about your loss, when a pet is in your family that long it’s incredibly hard on all concerned. I remember being about twelve when our family cat passed away having been with her all my life. I really like this post and your photos, a lovely way to pay tribute.
Karin, that is such a sad story, it brought tears in my eyes, I am very sorry, life is sometimes hard. He was so beautiful. I hope you have alovely Christmas
@Kahanka
I’ve never had a pet, but this really moved me. He was beautiful, and so was your relationship.
Lovely post Karin. Big hugs xxx
I’m not going to cry…not going to cry….not going to cry…..Just did.
Love to my “grand-dog”…..You are missed.
Thank you everyone! Your lovely words are a great comfort. We’ll survive and each day is a bit easier but we will miss Sinjin terribly. Our only question right now is WHEN do we get another dog. Thanks very much for your support! Karin
I’m hopelessly late with this comment, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss xxx
Sandy- Thanks very much. It’s getting easier but we still miss him terribly. It’s the little things, you know? Thanks very much for your kind words.- Karin
That is a lovely post you have written, we are so sorry for your loss and we feel privileged to have known Sinjin the last couple of years he was a wonderful boult, so much more than ‘just a dog’ – he had such patience with the girls and I miss him coming out on the drive to greet us. However, I think you made the best decision for him, he was not in a good way and you could see his decline those last few weeks. He will always live on in your heart x x x
Just catching up on posts over Christmas so a bit late with this. But I wanted to say what a lovely post this is, it really hit a chord with me as one of my dogs was put down just before Christmas at just 5 years old – so I can really relate to this post.
Those that don’t have pets find it hard to understand, but they are so much more than just a dog
Hope you are feeling better now x