Dear So and So

Nov 26, 2010 by cafebebemama

Dear Peterborough District Hospital,

I’d like to let you know that you royally pissed me off on Wednesday. You gave me an appointment for 3:00pm. When I checked in to the ridiculously difficult to find wing of your hospital, your chain-smoking nurse/receptionist informed me that there would be a bit of a wait. When you finally called my name FIFTY minutes later, causing me to miss my 4:15pm train to London, I was more than a bit irritated. To then sit through a consultation with a doctor, who was exceptionally pleasant I will add, to find out that, in fact, I didn’t REALLY need to be having said consultation as I was being referred for a gastric biopsy, I was quite hacked off. Thanks for making my coeliac diseased self wait for possibly another six weeks until I can officially get some help.

Love, Me

Dear Endoscopy Department,

How is it that despite being present at the depressing hospital where you are located, I now have to wait for a letter in the post to tell me when I have been granted an appointment of YOUR chosing to allow you to ram a tube down my throat and cut a segment from my abdominal lining to officially allow me the diagnosis of “coeliac disease?” Thanks for being so accomodating to my personal schedule. If you even think of giving me an appointment on Wednesday 8 December I will have to seek my revenge in other ways.

Crankily, Me

Dear Let’s Play,

When I order a children’s meal with sausage, chips and baked beans, in the future, please do not take it upon yourself to substitute spaghetti hoops for the chosen baked beans. My daughter has never eaten the vile spaghetti hoops nor will she ever under my watch. I would rather have had you come out from behind the counter and ask me if I would like a substitute as opposed to assuming that spaghetti hoops would be sufficient. You know what happens when you assume…you make an ass of u and me! I’m not terribly keen on being made an ass.

Cheers, Mummy

Dear Spammers,

I have stopped you in your tracks. You somehow penetrated my defenses a few months ago and succeeded in filling my Akismet spam box with 100-200 spam comments a day. But I have squelched your spambot stupidity. Conditional CAPTCHA has ended your reign of terror. I win. Take that stupid spammers!

Love, Cafe Bebe Mama

Dear Cheetos,

I really, really miss you. Your orangey goodness. Your crunchy sticks. I would really, really love it if you could send a cargo ship with containers of Cheetos to sell at a Tesco near me. My life would be much happier. And oranger.

Love, Karin

Dear So & So is the creation of blogger and fellow American, Kat, of 3 Bedroom Bungalow. Venture over to her site to enjoy the other whingers!