A Toddler Lives Here

Nov 29, 2010 by cafebebemama

We’re in the process of installing a new dishwasher. By “WE” I mean my husband. By “INSTALLING” I mean storing it under the kitchen table for the last two weeks and it’s still not installed. As I was surveying the tip that is my home this morning as I hastily attempted to bring order to the chaos, I suddenly realised that this house no longer belongs to my husband and I. A toddler lives here. She is the interior designer and architecht now. We cater to her. There is very little left of what used to be. Here are some of the indicators, in case you happen to wander into my home, uninvited unannounced.

• When you walk in the front door you will find various and sundry things on the stairs, waiting to be taken upstairs on the next trip. They range from nappies to potties (full of wee, mind you), toilet paper, last night’s pyjamas (Little Miss’, not mine…I’m still wearing mine silly!) and assorted plastic toys, creatures and beings who have been positioned on the first few steps for playing purposes. Please mind the steps on the way back down. It really hurts to step on Lego/Duplo!
• The kitchen table is piled high with everything: mail, magazines, plasters, Sudocrem, wipes, train tickets, jackets, gloves, sunglasses, etc. It stays like this until hubby says something and I sort the madness down to a few essentials in preparation for the next round of piling.
• Highchair attached to the kitchen table. It’s nearly too small for Little Miss but we have no other means of securing her if we choose to eat at the kitchen table which we rarely do as it’s usually piled high with the items from the previous bullet point.
• Refridgerator: gone is the wine/beer. In its place- juice, smoothies, yoghurt, ready made pasta & Milky Bar Buttons. It’s not overly inspiring to look in there when you’re over the age of 3.
• Cookbooks: Jamie, Gordon and Wagamama sit at the bottom of a pile which is topped by Annabel Karmel in various incarnations. Most of these cookbooks are rarely opened.
• Hallway: Tiny jackets, hats and hangers take the place of Northface jackets and other outdoor activities gear. Assorted shopping bags and windown shades now lay higgeldy-piggeldy in the storage bins.
• Lounge: New IKEA wipe/wash and wear couches with covers that can be removed and washed. Pictures of a certain toddler adorn every surface and her artwork adorns the others. Stacked on shelves are Play-Doh sets, aprons, books, toys and CD’s belonging to said toddler. Adult music no longer exists in the CD rota…instead you will find ZingZillas, Cbeebies Song Time, Toybox, etc. Toys and accessories are stacked behind/under/in/on most surfaces. Adult DVD’s (get your mind out of the gutter…I just mean grownup ones) are on the bottom while Charlie & Lola, LeapFrog and Little People have pride of place. Remote controls are carefully placed out of the reach of tiny hands.
• In any room: various sippy cups, wipes, tissues, stray crayons, stones, soft toys, slippers…there is no rhyme or reason. Chaos rules.
• Toy area: (thankfully we have space in our lounge to dedicate exclusively to toys…and my desk) Kitchen set, easel, toy bins and tiny tables fill the toy area. All toys are played with for several minutes and then discarded for the next thing. Said toddler has the attention span of a goldfish. In the DEDICATED toy area is my desk. Does this tell you how important my work is?
• My Desk: Now faces into the room…no longer can my back be turned! It’s also located in the coldest corner of the lounge where the cold air return vent is. My feet are frozen and I’m quite shivery most of the time. On the desk are pictures of Little Miss…as if I could forget what she looks like, a printer, a 7 year old laptop and several piles of paper that sometimes get sifted through. I am not the epitome of organisation but I do know where everything is.
• Doorways: The doorway to the lounge, the top of the stairs and the door to Little Miss’ room now all have gates…we need some sort of barrier once in a while.
• Bathroom: We have 1 toddler toilet seat, a stool for the sink and various bath toys strewn around the edge of the bath. This room isn’t too toddler decorated except for the toilet seat.
• Garden: We used to have a quaint, English garden. We now have a Toddler’s Garden. Starfish sand box, multi-coloured plastic garden cottage/house, trampoline, very little actual garden left.

But you know what? We wouldn’t have it any other way! Thanks for redecorating our lives Little Miss. You’re worth it!