I’M NOT PREGNANT, I’M JUST FAT!

Jul 16, 2010 by cafebebemama

circa May 2008

This is not a picture of me now, I must say, but rather when I was 9.5 months pregnant with Little Miss. I had a GIANT belly, had put on a LOT of weight (thank you muffins, fish & chips and anything that didn’t run away from me) and ended up rather mahoosive.

I gave birth to Little Miss in June of 2008. Some of the weight drained away but a lot of it stayed. And I’ve actually probably added some to replace the weight that drained away. I am VERY far off of my pre-pregnancy weight which wasn’t even a good weight for me either.

Thanks to my giant belly, I have a rather significant diastasis recti (abdominal separation) and for the most part, my internal organs are falling out of my abdominal cavity (there’s a nice picture). I have an aching back, an aching tummy and feel rather miserable.

I haven’t done much to get rid of it however. I have had fits and starts of walking, attempts to eat more healthily and failed attempts at limiting wheat & sugar to decrease bloating. I’ve had advice and help from Mummy Tummy Guru Wendy Powell and yet, there remains this belly.

I would like to state for the record, “I’M NOT PREGNANT, I’M JUST FAT!” I have had 3 people, in the last 2 weeks, ask me when my baby is due. I’m humiliated. I can’t find clothes to wear that don’t make me look pregnant. I resort to wearing hubby’s shirts which makes me look pregnant AND frumpy. I can’t find decent trousers to wear as, under my “tummy bump” I’m probably only a size 12 (from the hips down) but then pull my belly into the equation and god only knows what size trouser I’d need.

I know why people think I look pregnant. Because I do! I have relatively slim everything else but still have this BELLY poking out. Sensible brains tell these people “There’s a pregnant lady!” But I’m not! I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat. I hate it when I’ve had the questions about my due date! I try to laugh and say, “No, not pregnant, just fat” and then the commenter feels horrible and tries to make me feel better and I laugh and say, “No worries”. It kills me though. Really, truly.

I would really appreciate any clothing advice to help me disguise my protuberance. I would really appreciate a consultant to repair my diastasis recti. I would really appreciate a personal trainer to come get me out of bed and help me solve this horrific and embarassing problem. I turn **40** this year. I would like to look a bit better in November. Any advice is welcome.

And please remember, the next time you run into me, I’M NOT PREGNANT, I’M JUST FAT!!! sigh…

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Nat

16/07/2010

You need to go to the Dr get an official report on your muscles & sent to someone for exercises to help close it. Mine seperated after my 2nd if it’s really bad then you might need a brace or surgery. You do need to sort it out especially if you want more children, it can lead to other complications.

MrsLJHall

16/07/2010

oooh I feel for you, am sure this is something that can be sorted out, make a real pain of yourself at the doctors and make it very clear how distressing it is for you – they should sort it out. In the meantime make friends with spanx pants xx

Sally

16/07/2010

Poor you!

You know, I would have thought Reebok should add some personal training and nutrition advice to its blogger outreach programme – surely it’s a no brainer? There’s a new Twitter campaign for ya!

Spencer Park

16/07/2010

When I was on holiday a waiter pulled a chair out for the ex-wife and explained that they know how to look after pregnant ladies in Spain. For some reason that was my fault!

cafebebemama

17/07/2010

I’ll have to pitch it to Reebok! Wish me luck!

Vonnie

17/07/2010

I feel your pain – literally! I find tummy control pants are good for giving my lumbar region a bit of extra support but I think I should probably be seeing a physiotherapist too. Speak to your GP and see what they say?

Jenny paulin

19/07/2010

Oh no how awful for you that it has happened that many times in such a short space of time
You still look gorgeous though – the photo of you sat next to Mel C for example you look lovely
The only reason celebs look so great after kids is either through surgery or expensive undies or not eating! Theirs is not a true picture of post pregnancy. Just keep badgering your doc and break down in front if him. My friend had twins last year and despite dieti ng and going to the gym she cannot get rid of it and she looks pregnant. Her doc has told her he won’t do anything until she loses more weight! So I guess your running for the 5k marathon is a great way to kick start your tummy loss plan.
Ihope you achieve your tummy /weight goal but you still look great! Xx

Lottie

19/07/2010

Re your muscular problems you really must get your GP to refer you, at the very least they can refer you to physio which would help enormously. In terms of weight unfortunately, as you well know, there is no quick fix. It’s all down to lower calorie intake and more exercise. The trick is to really find the motivation and until you do you may well struggle. I have a very good friend who has been obese at 20stones plus all the time I’ve known her. She has made half hearted attempts to lose the weight with little success. This year she got friendly with someone else who needs to lose weight and they have started Slimming World and exercising together. She has so far shed 3 stones. She just needed the support. Perhaps that what you need? Do you have anyone who can do it with you?

Do you walk your kids to school and back each time? I personally find this really helpful as it’s an easy exercise that’s part of my daily routine and requires no thought.

Re clothes. Wear loose fitting, long tops that skim over your tummy and a skirt or wide legged trousers. Belts help to give the illusion of a waist. I have another happily massively overweight friend who always looks fabulous in tunic length tops and leggings. She just adds accessories to draw the eye away from the belly and to the fabulous colours around her neck. Also carrying a large good looking bag draws the eye away. Funnily enough I have a discount on my blog at the mo which sells the perfect stuff for you (I’m not making anything out of that promotion or comp so it’s merely a personal recommendation).

I hope things get better for you xxx

MrsLJHall

19/07/2010

Hello again… Just noticed that lovely Abi from @thecakenest has mentioned on facebook that she had a 5cm separation which is now down to 1cm as she has been following the method in this book: Lose Your Mummy Tummy: Flatten Your Stomach Now Using the Groundbreaking Tupler Technique by Julie Tupler.

Hope it helps – or maybe you could ask Abi a bit more about it?

Lisa x

cafebebemama

19/07/2010

You’re a star Lisa…thanks very much! Will investigate!

Katie

20/07/2010

It is all right. Find a local Satyananda Yoga class. They will assist you with all of the above & more. With kindness, Katie.

Wendy Mallins

26/07/2010

Definitely a visit to Dr to see if you can get physio help for the muscles. As for the weightloss – slow and steady is the best way – from early next year I shall be back on the baby weightloss band wagon…

Luschka

27/07/2010

Yeah, I’ve asked Reebok about a mummy friendly training programme too, but they have classes and that’s not so mummy friendly. Nor financially friendly for the SAHM types.

Feel for you hun. Totally relate too – specially after my holiday. Not great.

13 Comments

Nat

16/07/2010

You need to go to the Dr get an official report on your muscles & sent to someone for exercises to help close it. Mine seperated after my 2nd if it’s really bad then you might need a brace or surgery. You do need to sort it out especially if you want more children, it can lead to other complications.
MrsLJHall

16/07/2010

oooh I feel for you, am sure this is something that can be sorted out, make a real pain of yourself at the doctors and make it very clear how distressing it is for you – they should sort it out. In the meantime make friends with spanx pants xx
Sally

16/07/2010

Poor you!

You know, I would have thought Reebok should add some personal training and nutrition advice to its blogger outreach programme – surely it’s a no brainer? There’s a new Twitter campaign for ya!
Spencer Park

16/07/2010

When I was on holiday a waiter pulled a chair out for the ex-wife and explained that they know how to look after pregnant ladies in Spain. For some reason that was my fault!
cafebebemama

17/07/2010

I’ll have to pitch it to Reebok! Wish me luck!
Vonnie

17/07/2010

I feel your pain – literally! I find tummy control pants are good for giving my lumbar region a bit of extra support but I think I should probably be seeing a physiotherapist too. Speak to your GP and see what they say?
Jenny paulin

19/07/2010

Oh no how awful for you that it has happened that many times in such a short space of time
You still look gorgeous though – the photo of you sat next to Mel C for example you look lovely
The only reason celebs look so great after kids is either through surgery or expensive undies or not eating! Theirs is not a true picture of post pregnancy. Just keep badgering your doc and break down in front if him. My friend had twins last year and despite dieti ng and going to the gym she cannot get rid of it and she looks pregnant. Her doc has told her he won’t do anything until she loses more weight! So I guess your running for the 5k marathon is a great way to kick start your tummy loss plan.
Ihope you achieve your tummy /weight goal but you still look great! Xx
Lottie

19/07/2010

Re your muscular problems you really must get your GP to refer you, at the very least they can refer you to physio which would help enormously. In terms of weight unfortunately, as you well know, there is no quick fix. It’s all down to lower calorie intake and more exercise. The trick is to really find the motivation and until you do you may well struggle. I have a very good friend who has been obese at 20stones plus all the time I’ve known her. She has made half hearted attempts to lose the weight with little success. This year she got friendly with someone else who needs to lose weight and they have started Slimming World and exercising together. She has so far shed 3 stones. She just needed the support. Perhaps that what you need? Do you have anyone who can do it with you?

Do you walk your kids to school and back each time? I personally find this really helpful as it’s an easy exercise that’s part of my daily routine and requires no thought.

Re clothes. Wear loose fitting, long tops that skim over your tummy and a skirt or wide legged trousers. Belts help to give the illusion of a waist. I have another happily massively overweight friend who always looks fabulous in tunic length tops and leggings. She just adds accessories to draw the eye away from the belly and to the fabulous colours around her neck. Also carrying a large good looking bag draws the eye away. Funnily enough I have a discount on my blog at the mo which sells the perfect stuff for you (I’m not making anything out of that promotion or comp so it’s merely a personal recommendation).

I hope things get better for you xxx
MrsLJHall

19/07/2010

Hello again… Just noticed that lovely Abi from @thecakenest has mentioned on facebook that she had a 5cm separation which is now down to 1cm as she has been following the method in this book: Lose Your Mummy Tummy: Flatten Your Stomach Now Using the Groundbreaking Tupler Technique by Julie Tupler.

Hope it helps – or maybe you could ask Abi a bit more about it?

Lisa x
cafebebemama

19/07/2010

You’re a star Lisa…thanks very much! Will investigate!
Katie

20/07/2010

It is all right. Find a local Satyananda Yoga class. They will assist you with all of the above & more. With kindness, Katie.
Wendy Mallins

26/07/2010

Definitely a visit to Dr to see if you can get physio help for the muscles. As for the weightloss – slow and steady is the best way – from early next year I shall be back on the baby weightloss band wagon…
Luschka

27/07/2010

Yeah, I’ve asked Reebok about a mummy friendly training programme too, but they have classes and that’s not so mummy friendly. Nor financially friendly for the SAHM types.

Feel for you hun. Totally relate too – specially after my holiday. Not great.