Oh damn…it’s nearly 7:30am. You know she always comes down here around that time. Hubby gives her a wee lie-in while he gets ready for work, Little Miss runs around like a mad woman and she finally shuffles down here. What’s the first thing she does? Well, after turning the kettle on, turns me on! Dammit. I’m off again…running and running and running. Why does she abuse me so?
How come she always opens TweetDeck first? Does she think someone is going to have mentioned her or Direct Messaged her overnight? See! I told you so…no one…no messages! Silly woman.
Oh here we go now. Opening the email accounts! Why does she have three email accounts? How does she keep those passwords straight? Why does she think she needs to check those accounts right away in the morning? She must be hoping for something amazing coming from America or something?
No, no, no….turn the fan on! She’s opening like 5 windows at the same time! I can’t keep up! Quick…get that “running script error” thingy on the screen! I need to catch my breath. What on earth does she need 5 windows open for? Oh dammit, that Google Mail window is going into hyperdrive…shut it down, shut it down! There…end program, end program, end program…breathe, breathe, breathe…
Did you ever notice how many times a day she says “Just a minute my love” to that Little Miss? Like a bazillion! Get off me woman…get some fresh air for goodness sake. Oh, yes, you just checked that email account 10 minutes ago. I’m sure there’s going to be an email there now. Oh, damn, there was one. Don’t the people know that they’re just encouraging her by feeding her need for contact? Silly people…maybe I’ll just mess with her for a bit. I’m going to take FOREVER to open that next site! And the next download?? Oh, at least 10-12 minutes. You need to slow down Mrs! I just can’t keep up anymore!
Little Miss is finally down for a nap…do you think we could get one? NO!!! She’s back again, now fully focused on getting a post written or an email answered or another creation created. Oh. God. No. She’s on her Wordpress sites again…can she not pick one theme and stick with it? All this downloading and uploading is really starting to wear on me. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep working for her. Yes, I like that theme! It’s pretty and easy and doesn’t take forever to load. NOOOOO!!!! She changed it again! Oh yeah, pick that theme! Like you’re going to be able to work with that one! Silly woman.
What time is it? Good lord, it’s nearly 7pm! I’ve been running for practically twelve hours! She keeps me running regardless of whether she’s here or not. I’m going to tap into those British Gas people and let them know that this woman is not very GREEN. At least we get to look at pretty pictures of Little Miss while she’s not working on us. Oh, there goes that one where she’s sleeping…I love that one. Yes! It’s time to start closing those windows…oh, yes, I can breathe again! Last window…finally! Yes…shut down the TweetDeck…no one is paying attention to you anyway, I’m telling you. Their constant conversations do keep me entertained throughout the day though. The stories I could tell you! Phew!
Oh, yeah, I know…you’re going for the Hubby’s bigger, better laptop to take my place for the night. Trollop! All the work I do for you and the peace and quiet I sacrifice so you can do bigger and better things with ANOTHER YOUNGER model. Fine…see if I care! Oh…slowing down now…last window…YES PLEASE TURN OFF COMPUTER!! Nighty night now….at least we get a 12 hour sleep unlike her! Revenge is sweet! zzzzz
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF…the Café Bébé computer! After 6 years of sometimes mediocre service, we’re really hoping to “retire” the Café Bébé computer in 2010. Maybe Santa will take pity…Thanks for all you do Felicity…I may shout and swear at you but I do appreciate the effort.
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ha ha ha ha that is very very funny and sooooo true.
I get similar comments from my husband – who is going to have e-mailed you in the night, did you not just check that 10 minutes ago.
Wonder when they will offer twitter addiction counselling? Not sure I “want” it
Great post
Thanks…I definitely have a PROBLEM! Nice to know that I’m not the only one!
I love this. I’m pretty sure our laptops are related. Does Felicity have a sister called Linda by any chance? She has a tendancy to strop and throw me out too.
In her many grumblings I believe I may have heard a whinge about someone called LINDA…I might use that information to bribe her to be more efficient now!
This is great. What has technology done to us?!!!
It’s made me a slave…that’s for sure! It’s my last hold on the outside world, I suppose. That being said, I need to get off of Felicity and have a bath while Little Miss is still sleeping!
I’ve been chuckling over this all day. I reckon Felicity and Clive should get together and moan about what slave drivers we are!
I think your workshop posts are just getting better and better!!
Aw thanks Josie…it’s your inspiring prompts that have done it. In fact, I now drive around composing posts in my head thanks to you. Hope I don’t crash!
I simply love this post! My own laptop would say “well at least she turns you off at night…” it is much quicker to fire it on in the morning! OK I do get told off regularly by the Mr IT geek I live with
Yes, I do shut down but I still leave the power running to it…Green People must hate me!
What a funny post! Made me laugh! x
What a great post, just don’t let Felicity talk to any of the PC’s/laptops in my house (there are 11)!
Thanks very much Laura…how nice!
Good lord! 11 pc’s…I’ve got some catching up to do!