Dear American Airlines

Dear American Airlines,

I would like to inform you that I am American and I do enjoy flying on Airlines but in your specific case, I will never again fly your American Airlines.  I am sorry to say, you have lost yourself a customer.  I’m sure you’re broken up about this but short of free round trip airfare in first-class to anywhere in the world, I will not step foot on one of your planes again.  You have crossed the wrong Mummy Blogger.  Shall I tell you why I am rather displeased?  The reasons are four-fold:

1) When I nicely approached the flight attendant to ask for my child’s seat belt for my 16 month old Little Miss, I was met with a blank expression.  You see, when we flew Virgin Air last year, my 5 month old was attached to me with a separate seat belt that linked into my seat belt, thus preventing her from being hurled into the air if we encountered turbulence.  According to your less than pleasant flight attendant, FAA regulations PROHIBIT the use of seatbelts for infants sitting on their parents laps.  Apparently, the FAA has determined that a seat belt causes more injury than being held by a pair of arms.  Oh, really.  Hmmm.  So why is it a law in virtually every country in the world to wear a seat belt when driving?  And why are you, as a ADULT, encouraged to keep your seat belt on when flying even after the pilot removes the seat belt sign?  BECAUSE IT’S SAFER TO BE WEARING A SEAT BELT!!!  It seems that the safety of your youngest passengers is not vital to you?

2) When the male flight attendant came around with the rubbish lovely dinner choices, I enquired about the Children’s menu.  When I booked my flight through a website, I had the option of choosing all sorts of meal choices (diabetic, kosher, halal) including Baby and Child.  As my Little Miss is 16 months old, I chose Child for her meal option.  Back to the rude ever so pleasant flight attendant.  When I asked him about a child’s meal, he looked at me and said “But did you pay for her?”.  Uh, yes, plonker…I did.  She may be technically a “child” per the airlines but I did pay a fee for her passage including the exhorbitant taxes in order to bring her with us.  There was no CHILD meal and your extremely rude, look-down-his-nose-at-me American Airlines representative was loathe to give me any food for my child.  Had I known that you were not going to provide me with a meal for my child, I would have brought a proper dinner for her.  But since you allowed me to request my meal AND I paid for her ticket, I do believe you are under some sort of obligation to give the poor creature something to eat.  After a bit of Mummy Attitude, the sniffing flight attendant begrudgingly allowed us the pleasure of some congealed tortellini for my gorgeous girl.  Thanks ever so much.

3) When you made the 767 that hurtled us across the Atlantic, did you ever stop to consider the size of a baby/child when you made the baby changing table in the toilets on said plane?  There is no way in hell that an average baby could fit on that changing table comfortably or otherwise which makes for changing the nappies of your child an exercise in balance and coordination.  Again, back to Virgin Air, their lovely airplane had a changing table that more than accomodated my beautiful girl, thus making the nappy changing experience a pleasure versus a frightening, death grip of an experience.  I am sure you are no longer able to make structural changes to your existing fleet of planes but for future reference, in the design of any airplane, please include a mother or two on the team so they can tell you what reality is.  A reasonable suggestion not only for airplanes but for all family-used products.  We Mums and Dads are quite experienced when it comes to what works and what doesn’t work with our children.  Think about it.

4) Since when is it acceptable to have my pushchair, which was checked at the gate before boarding, NOT waiting for us when we disembarked from the airplane?  I was of the general understanding that if I used the pushchair throughout the airport to get us to your airplane on one side, I am most-likely going to want to use it to take us from the airplane to passport control and baggage claim on the other side.  When my husband and rather tired Little Miss and I walked out of the airplane, we were met with airport personnel who asked if we had a “stroller” (American)?  I said, “Yes” and he instructed me to stand there on the ramp to wait for it.  Hubby & Little Miss walked up into the airport to wait at the end of the gangplank for me.  As I waited and watched every single person leave the aircraft, I enquired as to when my “stroller” might be making it up to us.  I joked that the whole plane was going to be empty by the time my “stroller” arrived.  When the plane was completely empty and our “stroller” had not arrived, said airport personnel went down to the tarmac to check on it.  He sheepishly shuffled back a short time later and said “Uh, it’s going to be down at baggage claim then”.  Oh, really.  So, apparently we don’t need a comfortable mobility aid for our exhausted and weary daughter as we trudge the ridiculously long path from the gate to passport control at Chicago O’Hare Airport!  That’s right!  I forgot!  Who needs comfort and assistance after an 8 hour+ flight?!  Silly me!  I thought when you took our stroller in London, that it might be waiting for our arrival in the US…you forgot to tell me that you were just going to shove it onto the baggage carrousel!  Thanks…that was so helpful and kind of you!

And thus, my four-fold reason for never making another flight reservation on American Airlines EVER AGAIN!  We may have to come back to Blighty on your airplane (so please don’t take out your frustrations on us there) but trust me, you won’t be enjoying our hard earned pounds any time in the near or distant future.  We managed to survive your flight with our sanity intact but you have definitely succeeded in losing yourself a customer and irritating the heck out of a rather proficient blogger which is a bit of a mistake.  Never irritate a Mummy (or Daddy) who regularly blogs and has a few more viewers than just her/his immediate family.  Thank you for the opportunity to vent my frustrations and please feel free to aknowledge your faults and shortcomings in an apology letter to me, my husband and Little Miss.  We await your response with anticipation.

Sincerely,

Café Bébé Mama

PS- You have one redeeming business-class flight attendant who graciously took pity on the gorgeous Little Miss and gave her a biscuit, some mostly melted ice-cream and a rather gorgeous chocolate/chocolate-chip cookie which Mummy helped her to eat.  Please promote her or give her a nice bonus.  Her name is Jo-Anne.  Said rude, male flight attendant who didn’t want to give Little Miss a meal somehow was without name badge.  Gee, I wonder why?!