Baby Steps
Those of you who follow this blog or follow me on Twitter will know that I’m having a problem with Separation Anxiety. It’s not Little Miss’ separation anxiety, it’s mine! Little Miss is nearly 16 months old and I have yet to be away from her for more than 4-5 hours at a time. I do believe that the amount of times that I have left her can be counted on 2 hands and you might not need all the fingers on the second hand. They say that the first step is admitting you have a problem. “Hi, My name is Karin and I’m a Little Miss-a-holic.”
I’m not sure what it is really. An underlying fear that something is going to happen to her? A fear that I’m going to miss something? I don’t know what it is but I do know that when I leave her, it almost physically hurts. I never let her know it but I get a bit emotional when I drive away. I feel like I have lost something; that a part of me is missing.
I’ve only ever left her with family or 1 very close friend. I trust them implicitly and know that Little Miss will be fine with them but it’s still hard. I know I need to do this more as then, this whole palava will get easier and I might even be able to leave her for a whole day or (gasp) with someone who isn’t family!
One of my favourite movies is “What About Bob?”. It’s a bit of a cult classic (in the US) and stars Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss. It’s hysterical and is a real family favourite. I have seen it so many times that I know virtually every line and still laugh out loud at most of the film. The main character, played by Bill Murray, is called Bob Wiley. He’s plagued by massive hypochondria and see’s Richard Dreyfuss’ character, Dr. Leo Marvin, for psychological counselling. Dr. Leo Marvin advises Bob to take “Baby Steps” and this is what I’m trying to do. I’m not a complete nutbar like Bob Wiley but I’m taking my Baby Steps to letting go of my Baby.
My first proper Baby Step came today…I took Little Miss to play at her Auntie Debbie’s house. She was entertained and played with and loved to the hilt. She had an absolute blast and didn’t miss her mummy for a minute. Her mummy missed her terribly and managed to stay away for a whole 3 hours but it’s a start. Next time, maybe we’ll aim for an entire afternoon- maybe 5 hours! So, thank you to Auntie Debbie, Uncle Ant and cousins Pippa and Matthew for helping me to take my first Baby Steps. I’ll let you know when it turns into a run!
How good are you about letting go?
Little Miss & Cousin Pippa
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Well done Karin, I don’t want to sound patronising but I am really proud of you as I know how nervous you were about doing this. Keep taking those baby steps and who knows maybe one day you can join me in a class and leave Little Miss to play with Baby Bean in a nursery group? She’ll have a blast!!! xxx
Thanks Mrs! You know how hard this is for me. I’ll get there one day.
I always find this difficult. I left my eldest son overnight with my Mum when he was 9 months old and I cried and hated it. He’s spent about 4 nights away from me in total and he’s nearly 4 years old now. My almost 16 month old has been apart from me for no longer than 4 hours too – see, I’m just as bad with the second one! We don’t have family nearby so there aren’t many people about who’ll have them. And when the third one’s born I can’t imagine many people volunteering to look after them for us! I sympathise with you as it can be really difficult leaving them, you get so used to them being around that you don’t know what to do when they’re not. I wouldn’t worry though, the time soon comes when they do their own thing (oldest does half the week at pre-school now) and as long as you and hubby get time together (we book a babysitter and have evenings out) I think it’s okay.
Thanks Mrs…It’s nice to know there are other Baby Steppers out there like me!
We can support eachother…good luck when there’s 3! You’re a brave, brave woman.
I admit to being terrible at letting go and i don’t care . I love my kids and enjoy having them around and don’t really want to be away from them much.
Sure i enjoy getting to go out alone now and then or the odd evening out but the thought of anything more than that makes me feel ill. If i go out in the evenings its where they are all in bed.
The only nights my children have been apart from me is hospital related stays (such as when my eldest was in hospital last year , or when i had my second daughter) . Part of my reason for wanting a homebirth 3rd time around was so not to be away from my other children .
I don’t see why people put such a push on being away from your children , in 10 + years time when they don’t want to be near us we will have plenty of own time. Just now im enjoying my kids
Thank you so much for your comment , link and advice. I’ve really enjoyed your posts so far and I’m glad I’m not alone in wanting to hold on a little longer
I’m not sure I’m ready for a weekly break just yet, but who knows? I’m sure tomorrows events will help.
Thanks for reading…good luck! You can do it!